How to mend a brokenheart?

Suspiria

I just wanted some advice really, as since splitting up with my husband a few weeks ago i have felt so heartbroken and ive lost so much weight. (I dont want to go into the reasons for the split, and there is no going back). I just want the pain to stop and not to feel so lonely! I have lots of friends and they have been great, but i dont seem to be feeling any better. I wish i knew how long i would be feeling this way. Any tips on coping would be so much appreciated.

jonnypb

It's an old saying but time is a healer. It also depends on the circumstances around the split.

Best thing to do at a time like this is to be round friends and family, try not to spend too much time by yourself

fluffnutter

Here's the significant point... "a few weeks ago".

Regardless of why you split or even whether you know it's the right choice, ending a marriage is painful. Think of it as a bereavement and give yourself at least a year to start feeling better. I know that probably seems a lifetime but realistically that's how long it will take.

Just go with it. Anything you feel right now is OK. Don't try to rationalise your feelings, or explain them or think you should be feeling *this*. Your reaction is valid and however you feel is your own response to what's going on. It will get easier, I promise. See people, do things, keep yourself busy, but also allow some room for grieving. There's nothing wrong with feeling bad. In fact, if you weren't, it would be worrying.

MissMonkeyMoo

hey, the guys above are right - it takes times to heal after a painful split and there is no timeframe that you can measure it against! It will take as long as it needs to. I know the pain seem intense now, and you won't believe me when I say this but it WILL get easier and there will come a day when you realise that it just doesn't hurt as much anymore. You need to go through the grieving and let it all out because holding it in would actually be worse and a lot more problematic in the long run. Let your friends and family support you and don't worry about what anyone is thinking - true friends will be there no matter what and will allow you the time you need to deal with this.

Hope you start to feel better soon. x

Candy53

Hi Suspiria, I know the pain you're going through, and I'm so sorry you're experiencing it right now.

I have to say what the other posters have said, and that is time does heal. At the time you think the pain and heartache will go on forever, but it doesn't.

As time goes by, it will get easier, and with me, then I was able to see things as they really were/had been, and how miserable I was, and started to feel relieved and free from the relationship, my 1st marriage. I really started to pick up then. Hold on in there, and take each day as it comes.

Candy

victory

It ils like the other posters say a few weeks ago is such a short space of time, there is going to be a lot of pain, tears, questions, it is going to be bad for a while but it will get better, you will come out of it stronger and ultimately happier:D

JustinCredibleGillespie

Hi, I am so sorry for your pain, I hate that feeling however its true that time is the best healer.

It's OK not to be OK, dont hide how you feel.

Have a look for a book online its called 'I can mend your broken heart' by Paul McKenna. It really does work. You have a lot of hurt to let go of or to get through.

BIG hugs

JCG

xx

19lottie82

I previously split with a BF that I loved with all my heart, after I found out that he has been cheating on me. Heartbroken wasn’t even the word, the Doctor signed off work for 2 weeks as all I did was sit in the toilets and cry. I hardly had the energy to get out of bed or eat and couldn’t ever imagine ever being anything but utterly miserable, ever again.

I’m guessing you feel like this at the moment and I know it doesn’t mean a lot at the moment, but it WILL get better, I promise.

You said you don’t want to go in to why you split. If he was in the wrong (cheating?), then like me, you’ll prob reach a turning point where you realise that you are better off without him. You’ll still feel sad but it will be like a huge weight has been lifted from your shoulders.

I know things are rough right now but make an effort to go out, see your friends and family. I know it’s hard but you’ll get there. I promise.

determined_new_ms

I'm another for the "time is a healer" answer.

I agree - grieve, cry, get drunk with your best friend. Throw yourself into every activity you can, work anything. Over time you will realise that you suddenly haven't thought about him in the last hour, then a day then a week and finally you will look back and think "blinking hell haven't thought about him for ages!"

Be especially nice to yourself for a good period in time, and forgive yourself anything that you do in your grief. Good luck x

Suspiria

Thank you all so much for your replies! I will read them over and over and i am sure that they will give me strength. I am trying to get out and about as much as possible and feel ok sometimes.I am still not eating properly, but as you have all said it is still early days and time is a great healer. *hugs* to anyone that needs one. X

Lexxi

Not eating isn't good for you, try picking up some complan or build up, they have all the nutrients without the effort. Don't live on them, make sure you eat meals too but they are quite good for getting through. I always find sitting down to a real weepie film is great for making me feel better, I put it on and cry through the whole thing just to get it all out. I'm on PS I Love You tonight, with chocolate