Cheap/free ways to meet people and make friends!

Wellyboots6

Sorry I haven't been around for a while, have been really busy.

I have been to a few more meetup events and would say that I have made one friend from there now. The other people I get on well with and enjoy seeing them, but don't really contact them outside of the events yet.

I have also been out and about with a couple of people from dog training club who I would class as friends. We went on a day trip to the beach and took the dogs. A 2 and half hour drive each way in a car with people means you have a lot of time to talk!

What qualities make you a good friend to someone? I feel like I need to put more effort in to being a friend to people and am wondering what that would look like?

CupOfChai

juliethemuse wrote: »

No, you would get some very strange looks.:D

I havent got any friends either. the trouble I have is that people think I'm stuck up when its not at all, its shyness .

Are you me?!

I've never had lots of friends which I wasn't too bothered by, but I would like to have some more please. I've got about 4 friends I think but they all live far away now because I moved. I see them occasionally on visits but I haven't really been able to make any more friends where I am now.

How do you get/stay in contact with someone and keep chatting to them, organise seeing them etc without coming across as just really desperate and try-too-hard? I think that I either do that or I worry about coming across like that so then probably don't try enough, and then it makes me seem stuck up/uninterested in people. I also feel like everyone else already has plenty of friends and doesn't want or have time for another one.

Wellyboots6

CupOfChai wrote: »

How do you get/stay in contact with someone and keep chatting to them, organise seeing them etc without coming across as just really desperate and try-too-hard?

I have started a few times a week just sending a text to people I really want to stay in contact with. Sometimes asking how they are, a joke, suggesting doing something I have found a voucher for etc.

You soon see who is actually not that bothered about staying in touch as they decline everything!

I really like hearing from people, so I kinda guess other people feel the same

elletee

Hi

Not sure if this will help everyone - but when I split from my Husband 2 years ago I realised my whole life was with him, and I had no friends of my own. By chance one night I found a website called meetup.com it's actually an American site, but covers England too. There are thousands of different groups covering all types of things (running groups, book clubs, spiritualist, social etc etc) ... I decided to be brave and join a Social club type - my first 'meetup' was a pub quiz and i was so nervous walking in the door - but everyone was so friendly. 2 years on I have a huge group of friends and some very very good close friends, whom I never knew and would never have met before. I honestly don't know where I would have been without the group.

So have a look if there's a group near you - and don't be shy - everyone in the group joined the same way you will, and new joiners are always very welcomed.

x

Wellyboots6

Got 'dumped' (hate that word!) on Sunday, and for the first time in years I had a friend that offered to come round and cheer me up

She is someone that I met on some of the meetup events and we get on really well.

It was only a very short relationship, and I made 100% sure that this time I didn't let any of my new friendships slide. I'm not sure if that contributed to the relationship not working, as he got dragged along to a few social events where he didn't know anyone?

I am glad I did that though as I have managed to maintain the friends I had started making, and have also actually had people to talk to about things

I have also started to make friends with another girl through a mutual friend, and plus side is she is a dog walker/sitter so understands my crazy dog lady tendancies

jellybabyjane

Really sorry to hear that, Katy, hope you're feeling a bit better now. And great that your friend was there for you - she's obviously a true friend (o:

I've just been reading through this thread and am amazed how many of us are in the same boat. I'm a little older than you, Katy, but also got myself out of a relationship I wasn't happy in at the beginning of this year, moved back to where I'm from and am trying to resurrect a social life!

There's a website called City Socialising that's also for arranging outings and meeting people, although it's only in certain cities. I've signed up for a new members' drinks thingy next month - eeek! My problem is also that I'm shy and find going to new groups etc difficult to start with - and when it gets nearer to actually going to something, I often chicken out!

Looking forward to hearing people's progress! And if there's anyone in Hampshire - give me a shout!

Wellyboots6

You'll be fine jellybabyjane, don't give yourself the option to chicken out!

I always hated meeting new people, but I got myself through it by giving myself a talking to. I would tell myself that if I really hated it I didn't have to stay, but I wouldn't know if I hated it unless I went. I would also worry about what people thought of me, but then decided it didn't matter as if I really did make a pratt of myself I never had to see them again anyway.

Got me through the night and I actually enjoyed it, and then the next time wasn't so bad anyway!

Phil_rich

Been a while since I posted on here and nothing has changed, my wife's depression has worsened and I have decided to give up looking for any friends. I keep thinking whats the point in trying to force a friendship with someone who seems to have many friends and is happy. Why would they want me tagging along!

I hope some of the other posters can have a better outcome than me but as they say 'life is what you make it' therefore I obviously made this ~@%* life for myself so need to live with it.

P

podperson

Phil_rich wrote: »

Been a while since I posted on here and nothing has changed, my wife's depression has worsened and I have decided to give up looking for any friends. I keep thinking whats the point in trying to force a friendship with someone who seems to have many friends and is happy. Why would they want me tagging along!

I hope some of the other posters can have a better outcome than me but as they say 'life is what you make it' therefore I obviously made this ~@%* life for myself so need to live with it.

P

Phil - I'm so sorry you're having a hard time at the moment. My OH has suffered from anxiety with periods of depression for many years and I know how isolating it can be. Have you perhaps tried looking for support groups in your area, would get you out and might help to meet other people who understand what you're going through.
Please try not to give up on meeting new people - yes the people you meet might have friends already but I really don't know anyone who would turn round and say they had too many friends so couldn't be bothered having another one! I do think that 'life is what you make of it' - but sometimes that means making the best of things happening to us that we can't control and certainly don't deserve. Wishing you all the best x

GemmaB78

I moved from Kent to Devon a couple of months ago, leaving my friends and family behind. I'm lucky to be working for a company with a strong social life. I also have a horse who I compete with so am starting to make friends that way. It would be nice to meet some people outside of work but that will come with time. I miss having people around who really know me, but they are only at the end of a phone/email if I need them.