Is this normal?

Beckyy

You don't know how somebody is feeling until you're in their shoes. It sounds to me like this lady needed a bit of time with a friend, and so her children stayed at friends' houses. Maybe she didn't tell you because she didn't know how to, or she didn't want you treating her daughter any differently or 'treading on eggshells' with her.

It's going to be a very stressful time for that family, and I think you're overreacting massively because this lady didn't share something very personal with you. Somebody dying isn't always something you want to shout from the rooftops, you just have to deal with it, and maybe she thought she would do that better if she didn't have floods of sympathy or people treating her/her daughter differently. Help her out by not changing your opinion of her and letting your daughters carry on being sleepover pals etc.

cutestkids

I think you are trying to make this all about you and your daughter for some reason.

I do not know why you are angry nothing has happened to your child, the little girl who lost her father did not have any problems staying with you and if truth be told if it was not for the fact that some nosy person at the school that the child used to attend contacted you about it you would be none the wiser to this day.

I really think you are acting way OTT about this

January20

cazmcf wrote: »

But I should have known the circumstances that weekend when I was in charge of the care and welfare of her daughter. There's no 2 ways about it, she should have told me / warned me that her daughter may have got upset. She should have told me when asking could my daughter go over there the next weekend that there may be upset in the house. How annoyed would I/you feel if y dd had have gone round there the following weekend and there was upset/greiving? My dd has never had anyone close in the family die and this mum should have warned me so I could have prepared my dd and help both girls cope that weekend if her dd had have got upset.

I think it was irresponsible of that mother that weekend to let both her kids have sleepovers with people that didnt know the circumstances. Her son went for a sleepover at a friends house in the new town they live in, so the mum would have known these people even less than me. Plus the mum stayed at a friends house that night in our town. So her son was 30 miles away, with no way of getting to him (she doesn't drive).

The more I think about it the more angry I am at the potential situation she put us in.

You are being unreasonable now because people don't agree with you!

1. There was no upset with the girl when she came to stay with you. What are you really complaining about? Perhaps the mother knew that her dd wouldn't get upset.

2. How was this lady to know that nobody close to you dd had ever died? did you ever discuss anything so personal with her?

3. Why do you assume that there would have been upset in the house when your dd went? Is it because there would have been in your household in those circumstances? Are you forcing your standards on others? Are you expecting other to react like you would? Or like you feel acceptable?

4. The mother had every right to decide that the children should go for sleepovers. She was not being irresponsible. She knows her children better than you know them!!! She knows the circumstances of this tragedy better than you! She may have wanted some normality for her children? have you thought of that?


I think you are deeply uncomfortable with the situation, are afraid of gossip and being judged by your community and are looking for people to say to you that yes it is ok to drop this woman, and stopped the friendship between the two girls. Sorry you won't get this from me. We are all different and we have a right to be different and deal with what life throws at us the way we want. You need to be more open-minded and more accepting of other people's choices.