Help how to deal with a difficult teacher

daska

Why do so many of the posters here expect the whole routine of the class not to follow school and pool policy as stated by the Head and the Pool Manager? The teacher has signed a contract to that effect and is employed on that basis. My expectation as a parent is that if I ring up and ask what the policy is then the that's the policy, not that it's the policy except for Mrs Jones in 3A who feels that she knows better.

duchy

It's not so much rinsing the eyes-it's the fact that having showered the chemicals on the child's hands won't be transfered if she touches her face/rubs her eyes surely.

Quite honestly I can't understand why this teacher isn't following stated school policy

Sparklebabey

mishkanorman wrote: »

Although I have to wonder how much attention the school pay to the children as on his first swimming lesson he didnt take his pants off and kept them on under his trunks as he swam :rotfl: then afterwards not wanting to go pant-less he kept them on under his trousers ! No-one noticed and he spent the rest of the day leaving wet patches everywhere and was still damp when i picked him up at half 3 - gave us all a good giggle when he told us though :rotfl:

How would an 8 year old not know that you don't wear your underwear under your swimwear?! Even if he had never been to swimming before in his life would you not have said to him as youwere packing his swimming bag for school?
Personally I would have been mortified as opposed to haveing a 'good giggle' not to mention the thought of how uncomfortable it must have been sitting in wet underwear all day

ALIBOBSY

just wanted to clear up something regarding the phone call. I was only saying about my daughter and her eyes and about her having a shower and I certainly didn't go in all guns blazing and made no demands at all. In the initial conversation with the head I simply said about my daughter and just that I didn't want there to be too much fuss and her be singled out-more meaning it could be sorted discreately. I just said I was suprised the class did all rinse off as they had when my son had gone swimming (at the same baths, with the same school, on the same day and time just 4 years ago), but I just wanted to ensure DD1 got showered. It was the head who volunteered that she felt all the kids should have a rinse.

The teacher concerned came onto the phone and had an aggresive confrontational tone before I even spoke. Which just got worse as we spoke, my OH afterwards even commentated how calm and quietly spoken I had been on my side of the conversation. I never mentioned policy nor made any demands. At first I simply explained I had spoken previously to the head and she said DD1 would get a shower the next week and as I started to explain she hadn't had one this week and had ended up with the sore eyes she interupted and spoke loudly over me that they simply don't have time to shower.

Regarding the whole class thing I never demanded anything I simply said I didn't think she should have to ask herself (DD1 is quite quiet at school and only started to come out of herself last year-unfortunately she would just do as the teacher said and not raise an issue, just be upset herself) and mentioned the head had said about the whole class having a shower.
She then started going on about policy and again lack of time.
To be honest she kept taking over me and wasn't listening at all, and she never said DD1 could have a shower, I believe her exact words were "she should have made a fuss and asked otherwise I haven't time to deal with it".

TBH alot of what she said was ranting on about being a proffesional for 30 years and performance levels etc etc. None of which I had questioned or discussed. It was almost at times like she forgot I was there and was rambling on to herself. She also seemed to get that high pitched thing people get when they go off on one.

TBH the shower thing is less of an issue to me and more the way I have been spoken to by her.

I attended this school as a child and its attached to my local church and I have never had a problem with anyone around here. The teacher concerned is not one of these the kids love or goes around doing all the extra stuff so many teachers do, and she is not particulary friendly to anyone. But I never thought she could be like this.

To be fair to her (and I am glad some peeps are posting from the teachers side as its important to see both sides) she is an older teacher, has had issues with others in the past and I suspect is just marking time to retirement.
My note was probably ill judged, but I wrote it in reaction to DD1 coming home in tears (the only time she has ever been in tears) after the way mrs x has spoken to her about this and a mums instinct is to protect her kids. TBH had mrs x or the school secretary rang about the slip or simply sent a note I would have said fair enough just a miss understanding and sent it back just signed. I am still not sure it justified her actions afterwards and the deputy head agreed. I also feel she shouldn't be quoting that school swimming lessons policy is for no children to have a shower and all the schools do the same, when that is patently not true.

The deputy head was great and also with him was another teacher who is acting deputy whilst the head is away. She is a lovely teacher and will be DD2's teacher next year(lets call her mrs a).
They both were very nice and said far from not being able to comment on anything to do with school other than my child they are an open school who actively encourage parents to comment on school policy and workings.

The school policy is in fact that because of time they choose not to insist on a shower after swimming-but other local school do and the authority leaves this to the schools to decide. HOWEVER all the children should be given the opportunity to shower and not be rushed through and told not to. They were also concerned that as I had spoken to the head the week before Mrs x should have made more effort to try to get a rinse for her-as we agreed if she politely approached the cleaning staff and they refused entry she should have at least ensured DD1's eyes were rinsed in the toilets. Going forward they will ensure one of the other staff on the swimming trips (2 lovely lady TA's go) will descreatly ensure DD1 gets a shower and check no others need one.

So from that side of things I am satisfied with that.
I had got a bit upset at the talk and I explainned about the other issues, but then told them I didn't want to cause trouble and perhaps we should just leave things. The deputy head was insistant than no pupil or parent should ever feel unlistened to or upset after a discussion with a teacher and felt he needed to take the matter further and discuss things with the head, in particular the fact that the matter had already been brought to the schools attention and if the head confirm Mrs x had been told then she had failed to act on that.

TBH neither of then seemed particularly shocked by how I described Mrs x's call and attitude and there was a lot of sympathy and nodding-I had expected the opposite with them being straight on the defensive.

At one point I was a bit upset and apologised fro the whole thing and said how worried I was that I had caused an issue that would affect my next daughter when she started. But Mrs A reassured me "DD2 will be with me next year" and we know each other don't we mrs alibobsy.

The depu head asked me to leave it with him and I said I really didn't want to cause a big issue or be seen as a problem parent and was happy to leave everything to them as to whatever action they deemed was required.


TBH its nice to be listened to and of course the swimming thing seems to be sorted so I just want to put it all behind us.

Ali x

ALIBOBSY

Just a final thought, given that both the head and deputy are both young and I would say very ambition types- no kids all about the career. I do now wonder if Mrs X was already on the defensive in the workplace becuase of stuff that has gone on with them-my sister suggested this as some of the older staff at her school were coasting along for years and suddenly seem to be under much more pressure to perform, where the younger staff are more used to being pushed?

Anyway I hope it all just dies down, DD1 gets through the rest of the year no problems and by the time DD2 would be due to hit Mrs X's year (she is the only teacher who never moves year) in almost 6 years time it will be old news or she may have even reached retirement-I know she is a grandma. I am trying not tom hold it against her as I realise like both my sister and others on her have said there may be other stuff going on with her I don't know about and I would hate to have bad feeling between myself and anyone.

I had thought about asking to see her face to face and see if we could sort it out and shake hands on it. But I think it might cause more harm than good so will leave it to the head to see if anything needs doing.

I haven't discussed the matter too much with DD1 as I didn't want her to worry and have explainned about how the TA should help her next week. I have also told her if they don't sort it and she can't have a shower, if she really feels she can't speak up and knowing her she probably won't feel able too, that she should at least go to the toilets and rinse off her face and eyes in the sink.

If I had to I would withdraw her from swimming as she can swim and already attends trampoline and gymnastics outside school-she is very fit and athletic, so wouldn't miss having lessons. But she enjoys being in the pool so hopefully things are sorted. Plus they are only swimming until the end of term and thats it (I am sure when I was at school we went for a full 2 years-but DS was the same just easter to july).

Thanks for all the opinions supportive and otherwise lol.
Will post if any further updates, but hopefully thats it.


Ali x

ALIBOBSY

Eton_Rifle wrote: »

Ah, forgive me, your original post states the exact opposite and I didn't realise you had mispoken.

I was only thinking this sounds like something my kids would have done!

Well I am not saying she might not have done something like that, girls especially seem to like attention lol.

In this case I don't see thats the case. I may not have given enough info at the start sorry!

Hopefully its all sorted now.

Ali x

jellyhead

Just wondering - is it definitely swimming that makes your daughter's eyes sore? Mine used to get hayfever if they played on the field and in the woodland at playtimes, then if they did outdoor PE that doubled his exposure. They have lots of different plants in our school woodland area to encourage birds, butterflies etc. and there's something that made him worse than he is when we play outside at home.

So, sometime in March he needed to take antihistamine. Just a thought.

Also, maybe wearing goggles would prevent sore eyes - what's the school's policy on goggles?

mishkanorman

Sparklebabey wrote: »

How would an 8 year old not know that you don't wear your underwear under your swimwear?! Even if he had never been to swimming before in his life would you not have said to him as youwere packing his swimming bag for school?
Personally I would have been mortified as opposed to haveing a 'good giggle' not to mention the thought of how uncomfortable it must have been sitting in wet underwear all day

He knew he shouldnt wear his pants - we have taken him swimming many times - more than likely he was embarrassed about getting naked in front of his class and too excited about the swimming to take a second to think about it. Also every time we go swimming we put trunks on under clothes before we leave home so it wasnt part of his usual routine.

And what exactly would you being 'mortified' done for your child ? Should I have screamed and shouted at him ? Complained to the teacher ? He made a harmless mistake, he paid the consequence of being damp for the rest of the day and his Mum didnt make him feel ashamed or stupid for doing it - we had a laugh and a cuddle and he knows it was a daft thing to do, its hardly a big deal.

Sambucus_Nigra

A - I couldn't go swimming without showering afterwards. I'd feel horrid all day.
B - I agree with the note, if it said 'fill this out if...' and the IF doesn't apply, then you don't fill it out.

ALIBOBSY

Just another note to add, the leisure centre came back to me to say their staff are told to try to avoid cleaning in the change over period between classes, and they will be reminded. However there are 2 sets of showers one at either end of the changing rooms (they were separate male/female ones, but they now have those family all in one type changing rooms with little cubicals to change in if you want privacy so the 2 sets of showers are from that. They state they never shut both sets at the same time unless there is a major incident that would go in the daily log-the daily log shows nothing for that day. So basically if Mrs X had done as asked and offered showers to any kids who needed it and ensured DD1 got her rinse it could have been done by walking them down to the other end of the changing room and letting them use the other showers. Seems more and more like just an excuse to wosh them straight through to the group changing area and getting them out.

Hopefully DD1 gets her shower tommorrow, but will tell her if not to make sure she goes to the toilet and rinses her eyes in the sink.

Ali x