Help how to deal with a difficult teacher

milliebear00001

Well, as a teacher, I usually see things from our point of view, but I am also a parent of primary aged kids,and on this occasion, I can see some of the OP's point.

Yes, I think perhaps there has been an overreaction. I very much doubt that any of this will have any long-term effect on the OP's daughter, or her other children. I often dislike the parents of the children I teach, but adore their children. I would never allow a personal dislike of a parent colour how I treat a child, and don't know any teacher who would.

Yes, you are likely to be an object of gossip in the staffroom. You have probably 'marked your card' in terms of future teachers who have your daughter in their class, and your other children too, but this will be 'your' card - not your kids'.

With regards to the shower problem. Firstly, I suspect the 'red-eye' issue is not going to be solved by showering. My daughter has the same problem, and the damage is done during the half hour of swimming. I quick rinse of her face might help, but really it doesn't (IME) do much.

Secondly, the logistical issues associated with getting thirty small bodies dried and dressed and back on the coach safely, is a nightmare that you can only understand if you've had to do it. Add another class from another school all trying to change for their lesson, while yours are trying to get out, the odd lost shoe/sock/knickers, having to watch half of them in the male changing rooms and half in the female etc etc...Throw a shower into that mix and it's just about nervous breakdown time!

I have a child with eczema, and would want him to have a quick shower. The policy seems to allow for this if you think it necessary for medical reasons, but it may simply not be possible to expect a school to do this for all thirty children. The alternative of course, is for children not to be able to go swimming, which would be a great shame.

The OP's teacher should not have been rude - even if she felt the OP was rude to her. I frequently deal wih parents I feel are rude and self-centred. I usually manage to stay polite - as should the OP's teacher. It is part of being professional. I haven't always managed to keep my cool though. Perhaps the situation here is the same.

I would try to draw a line rather than escalate a situation like this. Ask that your daughter have the opportunity to shower if necessary, or at least wash her face, which has already been agreed. That gives you the outcome you wanted.

meritaten

I know its a looooong time since I was in school and took swimming lessons in the public pool. (we didnt have a bus - we all walked half a mile there and the half mile back). But we were 'ordered' to shower after swimming! and we were two classes of about 30 kids!

I always made sure my kids showered after swimming in a pool or the sea - you never know what you might pick up! and pools are so heavily chlorinated that even just the chlorine can cause problems.
(btw - chlorine does NOT kill all water bourne diseases).
I dont have much to say about the teachers attitude - except that some more 'experienced' teachers seem to think that they are above reproach. and parents must learn to have a thick skin when dealing with them.

jellyhead

My eldest used to have a short shower, but it meant sending him out of the pool before the end of the lesson. He couldn't tell the time, so a teacher had to go and remind him to get out. The teachers didn't mind doing that because they could see he had eczema on his chest and back and they didn't want him to have to miss out on swimming lessons altogether.

I think they would only be able to make that sort of exception if the child had a medical reason for needing a shower though, and it wouldn't really be possible to do it for everyone (4 showers in the girls changing room, to what, 30 children?).

They have their allotted time to get in and out, and the coaches are fully booked. It's a shame that things have to be so rushed (especially for my 2 who are very clumsy and sloooooooow at getting dressed) - but the alternative is for the kids to go swimming much less frequently, if the pool were to deal with fewer classes per day.

the_pink_panther_2

You can see how complicated a trip to the local baths is for a teacher; issues about showers, issues about goggles, eczema, asthma, consent forms... This is only a fraction of what has been mentioned here and what has been mentioned here is only a fraction of the issues the teacher will have to deal with for just this swimming trip. Just think, this is just a swimming trip too. You can see why you now hear that teachers are taking kids on fewer trips can't you.

For the record, no teacher will hold issues with parents against the child. If anything the teacher will just feel sorry for the child.

Person_one

the_pink_panther wrote: »

For the record, no teacher will hold issues with parents against the child. If anything the teacher will just feel sorry for the child.

I'm not sure how you can be so certain. A good teacher wouldn't hold it against the child, but like any other profession they aren't all good!

the_pink_panther_2

Person_one wrote: »

I'm not sure how you can be so certain. A good teacher wouldn't hold it against the child, but like any other profession they aren't all good!

True. I can't be 100% certain. Like I say, if parents have been awkward I have only ever known of teachers to sympathise with the child. I can't however speak for absolutely all teachers. I can't see this teacher, who is going out of her way to put on trips for children to be anything other than interested and willing to support the children in her care, but this teacher is under various pressures which this parent's behaviour suggests that she is unaware of. I don't believe that the comment about affecting the good relationship between teacher and child suggests anything untoward in this case. You also have to take into account that what people mean and what people say aren't always the same thing.

gingin_2

I've just asked DD in year 3 and she says they have a shower on the way in and on the way out, they are allowed to take shampoo in if they wish.

Could you volunteer as a parent helper for the lesson? That way you can build up a better relationship with the teacher and keep an eye on your dd and help hurry her along in the shower?

mishkanorman

I asked my year 3 child yesterday and he said they never shower, arent told to or asked if they want to,

Didnt even occur to me that they wouldnt be showering after a swim !

Brighton_belle

mishkanorman wrote: »

I asked my year 3 child yesterday and he said they never shower, arent told to or asked if they want to,

Didnt even occur to me that they wouldnt be showering after a swim !

And presumeably he has been absolute fine/well even though he doesn't?

OP wouldn't your daughter's sore eyes be equally well served by rinsing at the sink?

We never showered after school swimming lessons as there were no showers...and to be honest, I never knew you 'should' until I read this thread.
Definite case for it though with children with severe excema with whom it is known causes a flare if the clorine isn't rinsed off. I could understand a teacher might need helpers to take charge of the 'must showerers' though.

mishkanorman

Brighton_belle wrote: »

And presumeably he has been absolute fine/well even though he doesn't?

OP wouldn't your daughter's sore eyes be equally well served by rinsing at the sink?

We never showered after school swimming lessons as there were no showers...and to be honest, I never knew you 'should' until I read this thread.
Definite case for it though with children with severe excema with whom it is known causes a flare if the clorine isn't rinsed off. I could understand a teacher might need helpers to take charge of the 'must showerers' though.

Yup, no problems although he has patches of dry skin/eczema on his body we have never treated it - and its not made worse by swimming,

Although I have to wonder how much attention the school pay to the children as on his first swimming lesson he didnt take his pants off and kept them on under his trunks as he swam :rotfl: then afterwards not wanting to go pant-less he kept them on under his trousers ! No-one noticed and he spent the rest of the day leaving wet patches everywhere and was still damp when i picked him up at half 3 - gave us all a good giggle when he told us though :rotfl: