Guest list - are you 'over-inviting'?

wanchai_2

Idiophreak wrote: »

We applied the following rules to our wedding:
1) If we know the person's partner, they can come.
2) If they've been together for a good while, they can come.
3) If the person would otherwise not know anyone, they can come.
4) If we don't like them, they can't come

We give less if we're evening guests (which is quite wrong, when you think about it...but it's the "done thing"). It's very personal whether you give a gift if you can't go. I think most people who are invited give something, though.

We've applied roughly the same rules to partners!

If they're married/engaged/been together for ages, they can come.
If a guest is single, they don't get a plus one IF they know others at the wedding i.e. among a big group of friends.
If we don't like them, they can't come! Great rule.:rotfl:

One particular guest is single and knows lots of people at our wedding, he's defo not getting a plus one - last time he got a plus he brought his ex-GF who is a total pain in the bum! I'd hate her to be at our wedding, she's unbearable - think shrieking like a fishwife ALL THE TIME, and being obnoxious with it! :eek::eek::eek: If he asks us whether he can bring her, I'll say no and tell him that we're strictly limited on numbers! It's a mystery why he remains friends with her, we all avoid her like the plague.


Re gifts, we always give something. If we go to the whole day, we give a generous gift. If evening only, we give a smaller gift. If we can't go, we again give a smaller gift.

irishjohn wrote: »

No - I just log onto the forum and browse the new posts page - i find it more entertaining than Breakfast Television, and sometimes I just have to contribute!

:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl: Fair enough lol.

floss2

RainbowDrops wrote: »

..There were a few relatives that "Needed and invite" despite it being unlikely that they'd make it. But we sent those out first & waited for their decline to be certain.
Then as other declines came in we sent out additional invites.

This is what we did.

Mojisola

daisiegg wrote: »

We are in perhaps a strange position in that there is very little wiggle-room on our numbers. We need 80 for the day. This is the venue's minimum number, but it's also the maximum we can afford, so we don't want to really go higher than that. We can invite quite a few more to the evening.

The list we compiled over the weekend for day guests came to 90 guests. OH reckons we should just invite all 90 as he thinks 10-15% of them will end up not coming.

I'm slightly uncomfortable with this because IF all 90 end up coming, the extra 10 will cost us two thousand pounds that we could do without spending. And we can't exactly wait for 90 to RSVP yes and then tell 10 of them "actually, you can only come to the evening!"

£200 per guest! The whole event must be costing thousands!

I know it's your choice for your day but I'm glad we had a much more modest wedding.

As to your question - I wouldn't over-invite. There's bound to be some evening guests who would be happy to be invited to the main event if you get any refusals.

wanchai_2

It's not really our business how much daisiegg spends on her wedding though.

Mojisola

wanchai wrote: »

It's not really our business how much daisiegg spends on her wedding though.

Mojisola wrote: »

£200 per guest! The whole event must be costing thousands!

I know it's your choice for your day but I'm glad we had a much more modest wedding.

That's what I said.

daisiegg

Mojisola wrote: »

£200 per guest! The whole event must be costing thousands!

I know it's your choice for your day but I'm glad we had a much more modest wedding..

I'm happy that you are glad you had a modest wedding, but that wasn't what my question was about so there was really no need to make that comment. Had I asked "What's your opinion on the cost of my wedding?" then your comment would have been entirely appropriate....but I didn't

Idiophreak

Oh my, here we go again...

daisiegg

Here who goes again what?

lazer

wanchai wrote: »

We've applied roughly the same rules to partners!

If they're married/engaged/been together for ages, they can come.
If a guest is single, they don't get a plus one IF they know others at the wedding i.e. among a big group of friends.
If we don't like them, they can't come! Great rule.:rotfl:

Thats what we are doing too - however, having been to weddings without my now fiance, as the bride & groom didn't really know him (Long distance relationship - we spent our time just together mainly!) and there was a group of us friends going, I would urge you to make sure that there isn't only one person out of the group not bringing a partner (It doesn't make for a fun day) - in fact i declined the last wedding invitation I got for this reason, i didn't fancy takings a days annual leave to spend watching other couples have fun, when my fiance wasn't invited (We weren't engaged when the invites went out - but we were before I ahd to send back the RSVP)

Idiophreak

daisiegg wrote: »

Here who goes again what?

Seem to be a lot of threads hereabouts lately where perfectly good questions break down into a bunch of squabbling for no reason