Im working for nothing and dont know what to do

pmlindyloo

lanceneoman wrote: »

surburbanwifey, ive just been thinking. if i pay £1 to everyone, whats going to stop them sending the bailiffs round or sending me to court. or can they not do that as long as i am paying somthing

OP, you are obviously very stressed about this and I can understand why - these debts are not going to go away and whilst I agree that paying a token payment at the moment is probably the correct way to go , I do not think that it is a long term solution because of the possibility of the creditors taking further action and you being forever worried about it.

Again I would urge you to get some professional advice.

You said that you were feeling extremely 'down' about it all.

I believe that you would really benefit from a third party acting for you.

Many people deal with their debts themselves but, forgive me for saying this, I feel that your worry is spiralling out of control and as you are still young you may need 'a helping hand'.

I hope I don't sound patronising and this forum is full of superb help and information but sometimes the sense of relief in having someone help face to face is the most sensible option.

seriousDFW

I don't have any personal experience of your situation, but from having read lots about it on here, I would have thought that suburbanwifey's excellent advice is the way to proceed in the short term. Then once you've defaulted you can get CCCS or Payplan to set up a DMP for you, where they will assess your income and outgoings, and deal with your creditors on your behalf? This way you can take their advice and this will hopefully relieve some of the stress on your behalf. A lot of people manage their own DMP but I get the impression this might not be the best way forward for you, and getting a third party to do it for you would be best.

Once you're up and running with it, you will find it less stressful and you will cope with it - NOW is the difficult part, so if you can get through this, the rest will get easier.

Remember, Martin always says that he has never seen a debt problem that doesn't have a solution - you just need to find that solution for you and there are lots of sources of help.

PM someone if you are feeling low, I don't think anyone would mind giving you a bit of support at this difficult time.

JayneC

Just wanted to add a bit from my experience - If they do take you court and get a ccj it will ONLY be for what you can afford and this is fixed by court and your creditor cannot negotiate further with you, so if court agree to £1 a month and they did in my case, then that is all you pay for the forseeable future AND the interest is frozen - no 'well if your circumstances improve we'll look at again', so it's really in your creditors interests to NOT take you to court because if your circumstances do improve if gives more room for negotiation. I had a horrid credit rating for years but it's all fine now and I have a mortgage - Life goes on, 6 years isn't forever....

suburbanwifey

lanceneoman wrote: »

surburbanwifey, ive just been thinking. if i pay £1 to everyone, whats going to stop them sending the bailiffs round or sending me to court. or can they not do that as long as i am paying somthing

To enable Bailiff action, a court proceeding has to have occurred and a judgment made which has been defaulted on (a CCJ) That's not gonna happen in your case. The chances of them spending money to take you to court are slim, thousands and I mean thousands default every year, the amount that do get court action are very low. As another excellent poster has quoted (and they are right) if they did, the judge would see you have been sending your one pound and praise you for dealing with your debts and trying to negotiate. He would more than likely say you need to pay 1 pound a month. This is why the creditors will not take you to court.

Stop worrying, do what I and others have suggested and sit tight. As another poster has said, in 6 years time this will all be history. You'll look back on this one day, in the future. Learn from it, don't take on too much debt again, don't allow ex GF's to take the mick and walk away leaving you with the bills, learn from it and don't worry.

You live with your parents now. Bailiffs are NOT ALLOWED to take anything that belongs to another, your parents house and all their stuff belongs to them. Living with your parents protects you further. They really can do nothing to you. But you haven't been taken to court and you are not a viable option to take to court.

eyeopener2

Superb post Suburban............

Please take the advice given here. Your in a strong position (believe it or not) as you can call the shots to bring stability to your situation, which is the first issue to sort. Pay the £1s and start living again - and never, ever trust anyone again where money is concerned.

Tomorrow please sort yourself a new bank account. This stops any of our payday friends clearing you out, which they will given half a chance.

You can do this, be strong, read and file the letters you will get. If they ring just politely say goodbye .

Forget the credit rating, it's gone for now.

Oh and one last thing......whatever problems you come across, whatever empty threats are in the post, don't worry about them, share them with us. I can safely say we have all been there.

E2

suburbanwifey

Lanceneoman, just having my morning coffee and popped on to see if you read my and others reply to your worries about courts and Bailiffs.

I hope you had a more peaceful sleep than you have been having lately and you are now reassured by us all on what you can do, what you should do and the fact that the outcome from all this action I/we have suggested will get your life back into order and on the right path. Looking forward, moving forward and working towards a brighter, happier, more secure future.

Good Luck and if you need any further help you can always post back on this thread and a solution will be found. Always remember, there is always a solution to every problem.

GOOD LUCK xx

TotallyBroke

One question... and I'm sorry if this has been answered already...
Your Ex's Father took out a loan for the wedding... Where did this money get spent? and when the wedding was cancelled was any money recovered? If it was then the money should have gone back to paying off the loan and the two of you would only be paying back the shortfall from non refundable deposits.

vickthestick

TotallyBroke wrote: »

One question... and I'm sorry if this has been answered already...
Your Ex's Father took out a loan for the wedding... Where did this money get spent? and when the wedding was cancelled was any money recovered? If it was then the money should have gone back to paying off the loan and the two of you would only be paying back the shortfall from non refundable deposits.

I believe some people have wedding insurance. If you did then you might be able to get some money back from them.

TotallyBroke

That was my point Vickthestick... if there was insurance then loan would be paid and if there wasn't some should be claimable if cancelled early enough. I'd be asking the Ex's family where the money went because being the suspicious person I am I wouldn't trust anyone.

vickthestick

Ooo you suspicious person, you
I was thinking that was a bit dodgy! Father in law gets a loan for the wedding, £2k goes to the car and the rest goes...? Leaving ex-couple to pay. Hmm...