My life is a mess!!!

QueenB.

BIG HUGS.

I have no practical advice to give as this is not an area i have had experience in.

But stay strong and follow all the advice on here to see if something comes up. I really hope the mortage situation is settled soon as i know it must be an awful strain on you all.

Good luck.

jules68

feeling really low today and just feel like just selling the house and renting as I just keep thinking I will eventually lose the house anyway.Am fed up keep phonong the solicitor up, I know things take time but each day feels like a month at the mo.

AMILLIONDOLLARS

I think this could be his tactic, yes you may well lose the house in the longer term, but so will he. It will go on his credit record as a bad debt, as well as yours unforunately. But he would also find it difficult to buy another house with his new girlfriend or take on any more credit. I would point this out to him and her I don't think she would be best please to be lumbered with a man considered to be a credit risk.

Tell him it would be in his best interest to switch to interest payments until the matter of the house is finally sort. That way, further along the line you both will be winners. Next time you speak with the girlfriend have a word with her along these lines, she hoping for a life with him (good luck to her, she'll need it!!) so I think she'll bend his ear in this respect.

Good Luck

AMD

this_time_next_yr_Rodders

Hi,

Just come accross this thread. Sorry to hear about your troubles. My ex left me nearly 2 years ago and I thought I was going to lose my house as my solicitor told me the worst case senario is she lives in the house with my daughter and her new bloke and I pay! Luckily it turns out she doesn't want to look after my daughter so she lives with me in the house, which is great, I am able to give her the love and attention she needs which I wanted to do anyway. I was scared to death about not being able to see her apart from the weekends. Ask your solicitor about this senario. It scared me witless.

Also if he is refusing to pay the mortgage, at least try and pay a bit yourself i.e your share, try and pro rata it by working out the total income of the 2 of you, this is 100%, then work out what percentage your income is of this and pay the same percentage off your mortgage. This way if it does go bad and the house is reposessed at least when you come to get another mortgage yes you will have bad credit, but you can prove you paid your contribution and it was only your oh being a !!!!!! that meant the house was reposessed.

I'm sure this won't happen by the way, as I think my first point will work. i.e he has to pay for a roof over yours and your childs head.

Also don't keep calling the solicitor as they charge for this!! Maybe it might be wise to change your solicitor if he is not much help. They all give an initial consultation for free by law. So it might be useful to see a few to get different opinions.

Sorry about the spellings here!

All the best.

Primrose

Jules - do your husband's parents know about the financial state he has left you in? Could you try appealing to them, either to put pressure on your husband to meet his financial obligations towards his children or is there any possibility that they might be able to help you financially short-term? Or your own parents. It is often times like this when family members can be a lifeline.Or you could try really embarrassing him by contacting his company and asking if they could put an attachment of earnings on his salary. I think this has to be done through the Courts, if the procedure still exists, but at leastit might put some pressure on him. He won't be happy about it though, but after the way he's treated you, he should expect to be confronted with his responsibilities.

jules68

I dont know his parents phone no and to be honest I dont want them involved, I have no family.As i say I have a payment break until june 1st so hopefully he will see his way to helping me change the mortgage to an interest only.I have got a mediation appt next month so can put my views over then.I do not want any contact as it always goes through his girlfriend and I have had enough of her.He had his son on saturday for 6 hrs and he picked him up and she was in the car with him!!! they returned him with wet trousers and smelling of cigarette smoke which I was far from happy about and they have requested to have him for a weekend!! so hence no more contact it will have to go all through solicitors and I will have to wotty about the fees later

jules68

just got an e mail from my ex to say he has set up a direct debit for maintenance but he goes on to say the amount he is paying is an interim amount until our finances are sorted at mediation, does that mean he might change it then? Dou you think its worth going to the CSA? Do they actually do anything if the father is making some payments?

MegsMum_2

Hi,

Could you try replying to the email telling him how you can't afford the payments on the mortgage and if he agreed to interest free this would prevent you both from loosing the house and any money invested in it. Explain that this would be a temporary situation until the divorce agreement is drawn up.
It is often easier to get your point across in writing.
Hope it all works out.