My life is a mess!!!

jules68

Gosh you have got me in tears now.I know things will get better butits hard to see that at mo

chevalier

He must be mad if you are 8 stone 13 and he has left you. I would do a lot to be that weight (am 12 stone girl!)
I am sorry to hear about your plight.
I would suggest that you contact all of your creditors and tell them you are separated. Any debts that are in his name just leave. Any in your name offer token payments. I don't know about what happens to joint debts if you separate.
If you don't feel up to talking to your creditors yourself, then have a chat to CCCS or Payplan (links at the top of the forum), as they may be able to see a way forward and THEY don't charge.
chev

Sea78

Poor you - big hugs from me as well. What a stressful and horrible time you must be going through. I hope the info others have given has been useful.
Sea xxx

jules68

I have only got one loan in my name, the 2 big loans are in his name.I am managing to pay the loan ok but am with egg and have always found them really helpful so if i do start to struggle i will call them, its just sad that it all has to go to court even access as I just lose my rag when i speak to him cos it usually ends up i have to go through his girlfriend first!! as she says i have upset him too much

virgin_moneysaver

He can't force you to sell up as he has a legal obligation to keep a roof over your 3 yr olds head - what is it with these morons who think by making the mothers life a misery, no money etc , that this doesn't effect THEIR child - get the council on board, the relevant government depts & show him your not gonna take it lying down - you go girl & chin up

Stupidstudent

I cannot give you advice as i don't know what i am talking about. But here is a virtual supportive hug.
X

caveatvenditor

My advice is to find another man quick smart.

lynzpower

Hello sugar

What maintainence is your ex paying at the moment? I know this isnt an easy conversation but at the end of the day providing shelter for his kids is his responsibility- end of. If you re getting nowhere then I suggest speaking to the CSA, and they will make efforts ( ish) to start getting some cash off him.
Whether you sell the house to rent, or contnue living there, who knows. Bottom line is that he needs to be supporting his kids wherever you live

I just cannot fathom why any man would want to abandon his children financially. I just cant get my head around it.

Sending strength,
Lynz
xx

GirlRacer_2

Good morning Jules, hope your feeling better today. As Lynzpower posted above, get onto CSA as soon as. The only thing I will say is if you do got hrough them arrange for the money to be paid through them ie they take money off hubby and then give it to you. The reason I say this is that even though I went through the CSA my ex and I agreed that he would just hand me the money when he sees the children. After fighting me tooth and nail for access I told his he could see the children every night after school and every other weekend. However he moved to the other side of the country and now only sees them for 3 hrs a month and that's when I get my money. He doesn't pay me the full amount as worked out by the CSA and more often than not the money is late. DOn't get me wrong its only a week late and he does eventually pay up, but I can't stop living and feeding the kids every time the money is late!

If I mention the CSA to him he just threatens to give up work. So make sure you go through them then you should get your payments on time at least.

As for the girlfirend she's probably insecure and that's why she won't let you speak to him. I mean to say if a man will do this sort of thing to the mother of his child he'll do it to anybody! My ex would be back in a flash if I clicked my fingers but I've learned my lesson - it's a big world out there and I don't need loosers like him in my life!

immoral_angeluk

I know you don't want to but don't forget if you sold the house and rented you would be able to claim housing and council tax benefit with with 2 kids would probably cover the majority of your rent/council tax.

Sending massive hugs. How any self respecting man could up and leave his children and wife in a huge financial pit is beyond me.