Relationship trouble

Four_leaf_clover_2

poppyboopoppy wrote: »

Believe me i have dated some weirdos lol

Haven't we all. What surprises me about your post is that you cant see what a weirdo you are with currently. You seem to be laying the blame for his behaviours on yourself. It is like all his failings are deflected onto you. This is not happening by accident. What you describe of his attitude and approach to you screams out to me, emotional abuse.

Was he a charmer when you met, almost to good to be true? Are his true colours showing now, when he has you where he wants you? Why do you run around doing everything so he has nothing to do, sounds more like you are parenting him than he being your partner/lover etc.

Is this relationship really fullfilling to you? I picture you walking on eggshells, tyring to stay one step ahead the whole time, questioning every little thing you say or do. That is not a relationship that is good for you. Have it out with him and if you dont like his repsonse walk away. Save yourself years of heartache and regret. I think he will just bring you down if you stay with him.

Lexxx

My advice is to move back to your place, let him know you are doing it and get on with your life.

As the other posters have said, he is very disrepectful not wanting to talk with you, but all fun and joy when talking to others, also very childish.
You are tip toeing around him, so his not upset, his tired and doesn't want to talk to you so you have to wait...for what?
He is a grown man and If he cared about your feelings he would not be treating you this way.
as poster above said, it is emotional abuse, it seems very manipulative.

Let him know that he knows where you are when 'he is ready' to talk

baza52

annie_d wrote: »

When you are all settled and snuggly in the evening say, "Ooohh what would you do if you won a million pounds?"

Do his answers begin with, "I would.." or "WE would.."?

or she could ask, what would you do if WE won a million pounds.

Lets be honest, both are in their 40's. the honeymoon period is over, either try and make it work or seperate and try it all again and have fun trying.

baza52

Four_leaf_clover wrote: »

Haven't we all.
NO
What surprises me about your post is that you cant see what a weirdo you are with currently. You seem to be laying the blame for his behaviours on yourself. It is like all his failings are deflected onto you. This is not happening by accident. What you describe of his attitude and approach to you screams out to me, emotional abuse.

From a womans point of view
Perhaps the man thinks the OP is too clingy and is keeping his distance. Perhaps the bloke sees it as a "friends with benefits" relationship.

Was he a charmer when you met, almost to good to be true? Are his true colours showing now, when he has you where he wants you? Why do you run around doing everything so he has nothing to do, sounds more like you are parenting him than he being your partner/lover etc.

Of course he was. I bet the OP was too

Is this relationship really fullfilling to you? I picture you walking on eggshells, tyring to stay one step ahead the whole time, questioning every little thing you say or do. That is not a relationship that is good for you. Have it out with him and if you dont like his repsonse walk away. Save yourself years of heartache and regret. I think he will just bring you down if you stay with him.

Sounds to me like OP is worried the relationship has run its course. Perhaps ending it would be best all round for everyone.

sorry to be soo harsh.

Sambucus_Nigra

Give him one more chance at discussing it and when he says 'too much pressure' tell him you are moving back to your house to release all this pressure and you will leave the matter in his hands. If he doesn't open up at that, or sighs in relief - then you have your answer.

Steel_2

I agree with Sambucus.

Go back to your own house and start recapturing your own life, which you appear to have lost in a haze of domestication.

He is not your husband. Stop running around after him. He won't love you more. He'll just end taking you for granted and loving you less as the women he met disappears.

poppyboopoppy

He wasn't a charmer when i met him we just clicked. He did used to talk to me about everything though thats what has changed.
I do cook and clean as its what i've done all my life since leaving home at 16 and i like food to be cooked the way i like it so i guess i am a bit controlling too. He has cooked in the time we have been together but i don't like his cooking so i prefer to do it.

I have arranged a night out with a couple of friends at the weekend and i told him last night, he just asked if i needed a lift and ring him if i need picking up. Am looking forward to it, i won't be in when he gets home from work so he will have to look after himself. I'll leave a note to make sure he washes up before i get home too haha.

I will talk to him over the weekend and see how he reacts to me moving out for a bit, will keep you posted.

Mojisola

poppyboopoppy wrote: »

I'll leave a note to make sure he washes up before i get home too

He's an adult in his own house and you're not his Mum - don't write the note!