Child neglect? Advise please

determined_new_ms

i agree with calling someone - who leaves a 2 year old screaming on their own in a different part of the house while the parent is downstairs playing loud music??? Sounds like some education is needed. And contrary to general public opinion SS do not take kids away from families - they have no money to do this! Best off educating ppl about parenting

moneysavermum_2

tiamai_d wrote: »

i don't agree with the child being shouted at or the dad playing music, but i'm glad you're not my neighbour. My daughter is a nightmare to get to sleep and will scream. She will scream in her room alone, she will scream in her room with me, she will scream downstairs, she will scream not matter what i do, so i let her scream and eventually she will fall asleep.

She screams during the day if i use that nasty 'no' word. She screams during the night too. Sometimes she screams with a smile on her face.

She's 2, soon she will be 3 and it will be worse. Then she will be 4 and the door slamming will probably start. Hopefully by 5 she will calm down for a few years before the hormonal pre-teen years. Yay.

a concern always needs invesigating!!!!! And yours is obviously just achild screaming but this child could be genuinely at harm and if it was me i wouldnt mind social services coming in because i know i am doing nothing wrong but to this boys dad there maybe a genuine problem.

moneysavermum_2

determined_new_ms wrote: »

i agree with calling someone - who leaves a 2 year old screaming on their own in a different part of the house while the parent is downstairs playing loud music??? Sounds like some education is needed. And contrary to general public opinion SS do not take kids away from families - they have no money to do this! Best off educating ppl about parenting

I agree, its a long way down the line before kids get taken off their parents. This family quite clearly needs an investigation at the very least.

princessdreamer

My god what is the world coming to. Two of my three hated bedtime they quickly learned that crying got them out of it, when that stopped working they changed t screaming and finally sobbing mammy please. The second you broke and went to get them they had won and trust me they knew it.They were in no harm and more annoyed at missing out than genuinly upset.

However feel free to cause as much grief as possible after all social services never make mistakes

RacyRed

jennyhugggies wrote: »

Are you friendly with him or are you able to talk to him? Perhaps passing and say hello and start a chat and somehow throw in that you heard the little one?

Please don't do this, don't try to approach the father directly. If there is a real problem you could make things a whole lot worse by getting directly involved.

Do please contact social services with your concerns, do it anonymously if you prefer. The family will get a visit. That is a small price to pay for the welfare of a child.

To those of you who have screaming children and are suggesting that the OP keeps his nose out of it, you may know your kids are ok, but can you be certain that this child is too? Absolutely certain? Of course not. So do you really think it is worth risking a child's welfare just to save the hassle of a visit from social services?

msb5262

nje24 wrote: »

a concern always needs investigating!!!!! And yours is obviously just a child screaming

I've got to say, the difference is that the OP isn't just a child screaming - it's a child screaming for long periods, apparently shut into a room alone, while his parent is downstairs or outside with friends with very loud music playing. It's a child who is told to "shut up" when he is crying.

Some posters here seem to feel that reporting a concern to SS may cause a problem to a family where all is well...but the circumstances here don't sound that clear cut. Surely it's better just to get this checked out?

MsB

duchy

I had a screamer -I'm surprised no-one ever called SS as I'd often end up walking home with three year old screaming his head off carried tucked under my arm (he later got an autism diagnosis) and me blithely "ignoring" his screams.

So I can understand the defensiveness of parents with screamers BUT this is a child whose screams are not just ignored -but drowned out by loud music . Please talk to either SS (who don't just turn up and remove children -their primary role is to help struggling families stay together) or the NSPCC.

moneysavermum_2

is i had any doubt at all i would phone social services. I have 3 children on my own who shout alot but i wouldnt mind if social services turned up cos I know theres nothhing to hide and they arent stupid they know when a child is being mistreated.

BitterAndTwisted

jamespir wrote: »

Thing is you're just presuming. You DON"T know what is actually going on here

You are absolutely correct that I don't know precisely what's going on here and neither do you. Or the OP. All I know is that for a father to shout "shut up!" at a two year old child when he's crying and plays loud music to drown his cries are most definitely not the actions of a caring, empathetic or responsible father to me. I'd be more than happy for SS to pop round there and make up their own minds about what's really going on, ta.

Would you want to be that child? I know I wouldn't.

Racheldevon

Clearly it is impossible to know the full picture via an internet forum of a family that haven't been met. The OP has concerns, which are valid in my opinion, and you need to contact your local children's services and share the concerns you've noted here. They will assess the situation and can put into place the necessary support, which may well include linking them into a local sure start children's centre to family support services; family interventikon services, CAF, through to a number of other services at a local level. Despite the perception, not helped by the media, social workers are not there to take people's children away. You can phone the NSPCC, but this will only result in a delay whilst they share the information with the local children's service team, so best to just phone them directly. This might be the final piece of a jigsaw so to speak that provides useful iformation, based on other information that might already be known to them about the family.