Getting Married - Security for Wife

DevilsAdvocate1

Why the rush? Why not wait for your gf to finish university and then get a job? Its only 5 months until September. Your gf might feel more confident in her future once she's got a good wage coming in.

Edwardia

Your gf has a bad credit history, no savings, pays nothing towards living expenses so basically you're supporting her even though she has a part-time job. When she graduates, as you are supporting her she may not be eligible for JSA or income support etc.

When we met my bf now husband lied about debts. I didn't find out about them until we started renting together. I refused point blank to have a joint account with him, and I'm not on the mortgage he got eventually either as I just didn't want financial links to him. Doesn't mean I don't love him.

I think your gf sees you as her safety net provider and while I think it's omly proper for a father to support his kids and their SAHM married or not, it feels to me like there's a bit of blackmail here in the desire to pay nothing but be on the mortgage before that happens and personally I think you would be unwise to give into that demand.

Millie_Millsters

doberman100 wrote: »

Well, I should clarify that we're not getting married yet - but will do in the future before we have a family. As such, I don't think I'm happy to give half-ownership of a house to her. .

Are you sure you're ready to get married? As I see it, marriage is about sharing everything irrelevant of who pays for it.

1886

My situation was similar to Doberman when I bought my first house 11 months ago. I have a very good credit rating, my girlfriend had a bad credit rating. A joint mortgage would`nt work because of her history so my dad and me took out a mortgage. My girlfriend is now my wife, once her credit history is good enough my dad will come off the mortgage and it will be our joint mortgage as a married couple.
At the moment we pay the mortgage as a couple anyway, my dad has never paid a single penny. He was purely there to help get the mortgage, the bank suggested this. My wife contributes £x each month towards the mortgage.
It was`nt an ideal setup as it will have to go through a solicitior once my wife is on the mortgage to be binding but it was the only way we could get on the property ladder. My dad and the house are awesome

londonsurrey

1886 wrote: »

My dad and the house are awesome

Am I the only one not to have a momentary wicked grin at the fact that your girlfriend is not included in the "awesome" statement?

DevilsAdvocate1

1886 wrote: »

My situation was similar to Doberman when I bought my first house 11 months ago. I have a very good credit rating, my girlfriend had a bad credit rating. A joint mortgage would`nt work because of her history so my dad and me took out a mortgage. My girlfriend is now my wife, once her credit history is good enough my dad will come off the mortgage and it will be our joint mortgage as a married couple.
At the moment we pay the mortgage as a couple anyway, my dad has never paid a single penny. He was purely there to help get the mortgage, the bank suggested this. My wife contributes £x each month towards the mortgage.
It was`nt an ideal setup as it will have to go through a solicitior once my wife is on the mortgage to be binding but it was the only way we could get on the property ladder. My dad and the house are awesome

So if you were killed tomorrow, your dad would get the house even though he's paid nothing and your girlfriend, who has made a contribution, would get nothing? Doesn't seem right to me.

Taadaa

doberman100 wrote: »

Well, I should clarify that we're not getting married yet - but will do in the future before we have a family. As such, I don't think I'm happy to give half-ownership of a house to her. That doesn't seem fair. If we were married then that's different of course if she is a full time mum.

This is the crux of the problem. You want to get married but you want what yours to be yours only. You mentioned you thought marriage was romantic but the more you looked at it the less it seemed so. As far as l can see the only person mqking it unromantic is you and your attitude. If you are unhappy with sharing your assets then wait until she can make a bigger financial contribution to the house purchase.

I wonder if she knew what you were really thinking if her opinion of you would go down. Don't get me wrong, l can understand people wanting to protect their assets. But you are getting married..you know, the whole joint unit, sharing your lige and possessions with someone? If all you are worried about is the hnfairness of her getting more than she should you dont sound mature enough to be getting married in the first place.

BugglyB

My dad's twice divorced friend always says 'why bother getting married, just find a woman you don't like and buy her a house'.

Caroline_a

1886 wrote: »

My situation was similar to Doberman when I bought my first house 11 months ago. I have a very good credit rating, my girlfriend had a bad credit rating. A joint mortgage would`nt work because of her history so my dad and me took out a mortgage. My girlfriend is now my wife, once her credit history is good enough my dad will come off the mortgage and it will be our joint mortgage as a married couple.
At the moment we pay the mortgage as a couple anyway, my dad has never paid a single penny. He was purely there to help get the mortgage, the bank suggested this. My wife contributes £x each month towards the mortgage.
It was`nt an ideal setup as it will have to go through a solicitior once my wife is on the mortgage to be binding but it was the only way we could get on the property ladder. My dad and the house are awesome

Surely now that you're married you have linked your credit histories together now? I can understand your initial taking out the mortage with your dad, but shouldn't it now have your wife on it, even if she is an addition rather than a replacement. Let's hope that you don't drop dead... I do think these days that so many people are more concerned with house ownership than relationships!

paddy's_mum

Kynthia wrote: »

may be able to secure debt against the property.

A very good point, in my view.