Getting Married - Security for Wife

clearingout

just to point out that divorce isn't necessarily 50/50 of anything owned....particularly in the early years of a marriage where there are no children involved. To protect yourself, you perhaps need to realise that when children are involved, the chances of you getting 50% of anything when you divorce your hasn't worked much wife with young children who stay with her isn't particularly high. She's likely to get way more than 50%.

I don't mean to be so gloomy....but it is right to point out the errors in your thinking as they may well impact on your current decision making.

System

You havent exactly got much faith in your marriage, or your future wife have you?

I wouldnt get married if i were you.

picnmix

A bad credit history will affect her getting a mortgage, so you would probably be better off applying alone.

Regarding the joint ownership - if she is starting full time employment in Sept, even though she may well pay in less towards the mortgage, how do you see the rest of your financial set up going, if she uses her wage towards your life together be that food, home improvements, bills, holidays etc should that not count as enough for you to be happy that you are building a life together, rather than worrying about who gets half or what when you are first setting out?

doberman100

elvis86 wrote: »

So you've basically flowered things up in your original post.:cool:

The issue here isn't that you are being somehow prevented from giving your OH the security she desires. In reality, your problem is that your girlfriend/fiance(?) wants the next home you move into to belong to both of you, but you're not willing to share that with her if your contribution is greater than hers/if you pay for the solicitors etc.

But you anticipate that once you're married and she gives up work to take care of your children, you will be willing to accept that everything you own is owned collectively?

I find it slightly strange that despite you anticipating marrying this woman "in a year or so", and planning that she will give up her career and financial independence to raise your kids, you're not currently willing to think of money and assets as "ours", but rather "yours" and "hers"?

You'll have to forgive me, since I these subjects are only now being discussed between my girlfriend and I, but I do see your point. The whole reason for posting on here was to try and gain some opinions from others who have gone through the process of sorting all these things out, so thank you for the nudge. However, I don't see them as my kids, rather our kids. She's not a tool to produce my kids, but rather the woman I love. And my anticipation to marry is due to not a goal of 'mine' but rather something we have discussed and have seen for the most part as a wonderful thing to look forward to. Unfortunately we have to enter the emotive subject of finance due to this marvelous and divisive thing we call money. But it is better to explore this now rather than later I think.

doberman100

Judi wrote: »

You havent exactly got much faith in your marriage, or your future wife have you?

I wouldnt get married if i were you.

I hardly see how you can conclude that from a series of posts by someone you don't know. I really came on here for help working through a sensitve and emotive subject rather than to be flamed.

doberman100

nickj wrote: »

surely if she is to be your wife why wouldn't you want her to have half , whether she can afford to pay any contribution or not ,
that is the idea of being married , i guess you'd better start getting used to it

Fair comment. It's not easy to contemplate some things. Thank you for highlighting this.

doberman100

Chakani wrote: »

My OH and I have a joint mortgage and are joint owners of our home. I have no income, and had no income when we bought the house (I'm a full time mum).

There was a straightforward calculator on the website of the bank we used that told you multiples of single and joint salaries that would be acceptable as a mortgage, which I think was slightly lower for a joint one, but we had no problems with the fact that my income is zero. I'm sure it's not an uncommon situation.

Thanks for this ! That sounds like a good way forward to me. I'd have no problem with that, as it means things are more equal with the mum role having recognition in home ownership. Thanks!

RAS

Your really do need to see a solicitor.

Until you both understand the difference between a joint tenancy and tenants in common, I think you cannot even start to discuss what you want.

Mojisola

doberman100 wrote: »

I know she does have a very bad credit history, so I'm not sure how that would work if we made a joint application.

You need to know everything there is to know about this before you link yourself financially with your GF.

How you proceed with the house depends on how you see your future together and how much you trust your GF - both financially as well as all other areas.

If you move into a new house as two single people and you break up, she won't have any call on your house. If you both have your names on the deeds and you break up, would you be able to pay her half of the house value?

Don't make any decisions until you know about her credit history and how she got into financial difficulties.

It's worth reading through this stuff - https://www.advicenow.org.uk/living-together/

LittleMissAspie

doberman100 wrote: »

I'll have to ask her if she wants to get a joint mortgage then, but would that not mean that the percentage of the property that is her is proportional to the amount she can contribute - rather than half?

So I'm wondering if we have a joint mortgage and she pays 10% of the repayments that would mean she owns 10% of the house, or would this only be the case if she also paid 10% of the solicitors fees and deposit - which are currently going to be paid exclusively by me?

No that's not how it works. You decide what percentage each of you owns upfront when you buy, it's not worked out retrospectively based on how much each person has paid.

I'm not sure how/if marriage affects that.