Changing schools in year 10

Angelicdevil

OK.......Really difficult situation but here's what happened to me:

I was in a state, mixed school from years 7-9, my grades were exceptional but I was being bullied by some very nasty girls.

I thrived on excelling in my classes, it gave me a focus so whilst it was a truly horrible time "friends" wise I had something to reach for - my future. I had a small group of friends so it wasn't all bad but.....after being pinned up against the wall and threatened, then a few weeks later being pushed infront of a car by one of the girls, my parents decided they would move me to another school....

Hello, all girls Convent school.......All I can say is BIGGEST mistake ever. My grades dropped, I lost interest in my classes.

I didn't know anyone, they all had their own groups and weren't interested in accepting a new person into them. I'd missed out on years of the bonding they'd all had. Oh, and the girls were nastier there and because they'd grown up together there was noone to stick up for me! They all ignored it, like it wasn't happening.


Another crux point was that the classes and school activities were nothing compared to the school I'd previously been at!

My CDT lessons went from electronics/design where I'd regularly get 100% in exams, to sewing and dressmaking :mad:

So, many years on, I still feel that that move influenced where I am today and I regret not speaking out louder to oppose the decision at the time.

I understand my parents did it for my safety but after speaking about it all in depth they see too now, that I should have been allowed to stay at the school.

It is my only regret to date. I've had apologies from the bullies at my first school - really sincere ones at that. None from the girl at the Convent school - she still thinks she's lady muck!

ciderwithrosie_2

My youngest son begged me let him move schools, as he wasn't happy. The new school was across the other side of town, so he had a bit a of a trek each day, whereas the old school was 10 minutes up the road.

I was quite surprised they accepted him in year 10, but they took him from just before the Easter holiday 2010. I was impressed with the school when we visited, but to be honest I think he would have probably achieved better exam results staying where he was, as there was a fair bit of confusion as to what modules he'd already done/hadn't done and the new English teacher managed to lose all his coursework he'd brought with him that were all A's and B's.

He did OK in his GCSEs, enough to get him on the college course he wanted to do but he got a D in maths which he needs to resit if he wants to apply for Uni and I think he would have passed this if he'd stayed at the old school as he got on with the teacher much better (therefore made an effort in class/homework).

minimacka

Angelicdevil wrote: »

OK.......Really difficult situation but here's what happened to me:

I was in a state, mixed school from years 7-9, my grades were exceptional but I was being bullied by some very nasty girls.

I thrived on excelling in my classes, it gave me a focus so whilst it was a truly horrible time "friends" wise I had something to reach for - my future. I had a small group of friends so it wasn't all bad but.....after being pinned up against the wall and threatened, then a few weeks later being pushed infront of a car by one of the girls, my parents decided they would move me to another school....

Hello, all girls Convent school.......All I can say is BIGGEST mistake ever. My grades dropped, I lost interest in my classes.

I didn't know anyone, they all had their own groups and weren't interested in accepting a new person into them. I'd missed out on years of the bonding they'd all had. Oh, and the girls were nastier there and because they'd grown up together there was noone to stick up for me there! They all ignored it, like it wasn't happening.


Another crux point was that the classes and school activities were nothing compared to the school I'd previously been at!

My CDT lessons went from electronics/design where I'd regularly get 100% in exams, to sewing and dressmaking :mad:

So, many years on, I still feel that that move influenced where I am today and I regret not speaking out louder to oppose the decision at the time.

I understand my parents did it for my safety but after speaking about it all in depth they see too now, that I should have been allowed to stay at the school.

It is my only regret to date. I've had apologies from the bullies at my first school - really sincere ones at that. None from the girl at the Convent school - she still thinks she's lady muck!

Oh that is so sad to hear, i am hoping that because he has cousins at that school and he knows there friends, that even if he didnt make his own friends at first that he would be able to go and chat to them. his cousins both boys are in years 9 and 10 so they are practically his own age. He will know a lot of boys from junior school that go there. If only i had a magic mirror so i could look into it and see what the future was but i would of used that up anyway by wanting to know if he would ever get better when he was ill, i will always remember him saying to me "mum you promised me that by christmas i would be better" and he was still throwing up being really ill and i felt like the worst mum in the world.

Angelicdevil

I think all you can do is make a joint decision Make sure he's fully behind whatever decision is made.

If he has relatives there and he also knows some of the children from junior school then I'm sure it won't ever be as bad as the situation I was put in to.

((Big Hugs)) It's a tough one but communication is key

P.S. Even though I had an awful time at school, you'd never guess today It's made me the person I am today and whilst I didn't follow my career dreams I've still done well for myself.

minimacka

Angelicdevil wrote: »

I think all you can do is make a joint decision Make sure he's fully behind whatever decision is made.

If he has relatives there and he also knows some of the children from junior school then I'm sure it won't ever be as bad as the situation I was put in to.

((Big Hugs)) It's a tough one but communication is key

P.S. Even though I had an awful time at school, you'd never guess today It's made me the person I am today and whilst I didn't follow my career dreams I've still done well for myself.

Its his decision full stop its him that has to do this and its him that has to go to school and get bullied. I wish i could go with him but unfortunately because he is 15 i embarass him lol. I am so glad that things turned out well in the end with you, and as regards to your career its never to late to learn or to change your life, we have one motto in our family and its that life is just to short so just do it whatever it is if you want to do it and you can then just do it. lol

thatlemming

If he wants to move, please let him move. I was in a similar situation where one person was making my life hell in year 10/11 and I would have done anything to move schools to where my friends were.

He'll be able to concentrate better on exams etc if he's not sat worrying about stuff, and is generally much happier.

Also, he will get through it, even though it feels miserable at the time. I'm now at a top 10 uni, and couldn't be happier. Tell him things will get better, because I never would have believed it at the time, but they did. College was one of the best times of my life.

minimacka

thatlemming wrote: »

If he wants to move, please let him move. I was in a similar situation where one person was making my life hell in year 10/11 and I would have done anything to move schools to where my friends were.

He'll be able to concentrate better on exams etc if he's not sat worrying about stuff, and is generally much happier.

Dont worry i will let him move if he wants to i wont stand in his way.

x

jazzyman01

Can I just mention that in the Midlands at least the children all move schools after year 9.

There are kids from a number of schools that go into year 10, my son will be the only one out of his school to move to his next. His friend is moving to another school where he too will be the only one from his current school.

I moved schools after year 10 and still managed to get my qualifications.

Children are very adaptable. You have already said he is a bright kid. I would much rather struggle for a little while than go through 2 years unhappy.

duchy

I moved schools in what would have been late year 9 so just over a year before final exams-very similar situation in that I was moving to a school which was the catchment school for my old primary schoolso I knew LOTS of people from 4 years earlier.

I didn't move for bullying reasons although one of the many reasons I hated my previous school was that I and many others were bullied -the school had a culture for it.

It was the best thing I could have done-It was difficult academically-although I was doing mostly the same subjects they were with different exam boards so the sylabus were different-eg English Lit had different set books but I was so motivated that I regarded it as part of the deal and did well in my exams.

I think it would have been very hard to go to a completely new school at that age but the fact I knew other students made all the difference. I wasn't a target because whenever someone commented that I was "the new girl"other people commented that I wasn't really as *they* knew me from primary school -and I found I not only picked up on old friendships but also made many new ones too.

Find out about the sylabus differences and if your son is motivated enough to deal with those-then go for it-and I wish him all the luck going and feel that with the right attitude he'll do really well.

I would suggest he presents his move to new students as a positive move eg That he moved to go to a better school and not present a negative attitude that he left to get away from a problem.

Oh and I NEVER got bullied at the new school !

Callie22

daska wrote: »

Already having family at his new school will be a huge boost for him.

Just to be clear: Given that you've already discussed the change with him, I DON'T think that you should back out of the move unless the visit tomorrow raises a problem you aren't currently aware of. I wasn't intending to suggest that you stick it out while they investigate and try to deal with the problem at his current school. Not least because it would undoubtedly cause him more disappointment and if he is already depressed due to the problems this boy is causing it would worsen the situation if you changed tack and made him stay at his current school.

But I still believe you should formally inform the Head, Governors and EA of exactly why you have taken the decision to move him.

I have to agree with this post. Please, please do not take your son to see a new school and then back out (unless there's something dreadfully wrong). I was bullied at school and when I was in Yr 9, my family discussed letting me move, to the point of taking me to see the school I was going to move to. They then changed their minds and although as an adult I understand why, at the time it was absolutely devastating to see my 'escape route' closed off - there's still a small part of me that hasn't quite forgiven them for that.

I personally am all in favour of allowing a bullied child to move school - I can see the argument for making a stand but at the end of the day, if your son is happier he will do better. Forcing him to stay somewhere he isn't happy could do a lot of harm, emotionally and educationally.