Changing schools in year 10

minimacka

My son is extremely unhappy in his current school there is a bully who keeps picking on him and has taken most of his friends away from him. I know we should let the school deal with the bully but he has been delt with in the past by the school and my son doesnt think he was punished enough for what he did. My son returned back to school last September after being out of school for a year due to a illness so his confidence is at a all time low anyway, i guess being out of school for so long and not knowing what was "in" and what the "gosip of the year" was made him feel very out of it all. He is a bright boy and despite being out of school for so long has kept his grades up and is doing well at school. So after another incident on Monday he has had enough, and when you get text from your son saying he hates his life at the moment then it is time to do something about it. I have asked him if he wants me to talk to his boys dad but he thinks it will just make things worse, the boys dad was involved in the last incident but the boy has continued to torment him. So we have decided to change schools, i know its not ideal but the thought of him being at school for the next year sad with no friends just makes me want to cry for him. At the new school he will now people in his year and his 2 male cousins go one being in the same year and the other in year 9. He also went to a junior school where most of his class went to this other school but because of the catchment area he went to the school he is in now.

Anyway what i am basically asking is if anyone has changed their childs school in year 10 and was it succesful did it make any different to the exam results? My son really wants to do well in his exams next year so that is another worry for us.

We are going to look round the new school tomorow morning.

Many thanks

MM

daska

Have you told the current Head that things are so bad that you feel you have no option but to move him to a different school? What did the Head do? If nothing, did you contact the Governors? I'm just thinking it might be worth making a paper trail, if not for your son then for other children at the school - a bully who loses a target will look for another victim so it would kind of you to address it formally, even if you go ahead with the move.

DS2 moved school at the beginning of year 10 which is not a great comparison with moving so late in the year but... he is happier and, as a result of being happier, is doing better academically. Your lad may need additional support if the curriculum is slightly different but hopefully he will also be better able to concentrate on and enjoy what he needs to do.

I wish him the best of luck, but please don't let the bully win.

FatVonD

The only problem might be availability of classes depending on what his options were (and whether his options clash because of timetabling differences.)

My eldest stepson moved in with us during year 11 and local schools wouldn't even consider allowing him to move for that reason and he had to travel to his old school.

minimacka

Thank you for your reply Daska, the form tutor obviously knows about the problem but i dont think it has gone as far as the head of year even. I dont think that this bully picks on anyone else in the school just my son and i dont really know why, they used to be such good friends at junior school, it started on the xbox by this boy not inviting my son to play the games with his group of friends and has just escallated from there, this boy printed off posters of my son and wrote really horrible things about him on it and then gave them to all the class, this only resulted in a afterschool detention so my son really didnt think he had been punished enough, bearing in mind that the new school rule is that if you are caught wearing a long sleeved shirt in the summer then you will get a afterschool detention !!!! When i spoke to the form tutor about this she said believe me his dad was not very happy with him and he has been suitable punished. My son just thinks he cannot win, even if we go to this boys dad he still doesnt think it will stop.

My son just wants to do well at school and be happy and like i said before he is bright so hopefully this move will be for the best.

minimacka

FatVonD wrote: »

The only problem might be availability of classes depending on what his options were (and whether his options clash because of timetabling differences.)

My eldest stepson moved in with us during year 11 and local schools wouldn't even consider allowing him to move for that reason and he had to travel to his old school.

I have spoken to the new school and the subjects that my son is doing they do them there so that wont be a problem and my son doesnt need any special help as he is predicted to get a's - c's in his exam results. The new school take 2 days out of the week for options just like his present school, the only difference is that the new school start gcse's in year 9 where as the present school start in year 10 .

Alikay

It looks like the new school may be best for your son. It's often difficult to settled back down within the same setting after prolonged bullying, and it looks like things have turned pretty nasty now. A fresh start might be just what he needs.

Make sure your son deletes his Facebook account etc, as things have a habit of following you these days.:cool:

daisiegg

FatVonD wrote: »

The only problem might be availability of classes depending on what his options were (and whether his options clash because of timetabling differences.)

My eldest stepson moved in with us during year 11 and local schools wouldn't even consider allowing him to move for that reason and he had to travel to his old school.

Plus the new school might well be on different exam boards to his current school, in which case any work he's done so far might be useless and he might have missed two terms of important stuff. Also if the new school starts GCSEs in Year 9, as you mentioned, he will have missed a lot. I've never had a student starting half way through Year 10 but I have had students who are new to the school at the start of Year 10 and even this is not ideal, as they have not necessarily covered the same things in KS3, and there will always be a settling in period which puts them behind everyone else a bit.

Please escalate this further in his school - just the form tutor dealing with it obviously is not good enough. Contact the school ASAP and ask for a meeting with the form tutor, the head of year, and the member of the senior leadership team responsible for pastoral care, and make it abundantly clear that you feel that the situation has got so bad you have no option but to move your son's school. If nothing else, the school won't want to lose a pupil who looks set to get some good GCSE results!

I'm really sorry your son is having such a horrible time. Bullying can be very difficult for schools to deal with but it CAN be dealt with, and it's their job to do that. The school has a duty of care to your son, but they can't do their job unless all the relevant people know what's going on - so go and kick up a fuss as soon as you can.

daska

minimacka wrote: »

Thank you for your reply Daska, the form tutor obviously knows about the problem but i dont think it has gone as far as the head of year even. I dont think that this bully picks on anyone else in the school just my son and i dont really know why, they used to be such good friends at junior school, it started on the xbox by this boy not inviting my son to play the games with his group of friends and has just escallated from there, this boy printed off posters of my son and wrote really horrible things about him on it and then gave them to all the class, this only resulted in a afterschool detention so my son really didnt think he had been punished enough, bearing in mind that the new school rule is that if you are caught wearing a long sleeved shirt in the summer then you will get a afterschool detention !!!! When i spoke to the form tutor about this she said believe me his dad was not very happy with him and he has been suitable punished. My son just thinks he cannot win, even if we go to this boys dad he still doesnt think it will stop.

My son just wants to do well at school and be happy and like i said before he is bright so hopefully this move will be for the best.

TBH I think that's appalling, events that happen in school should be dealt with by the school, not delegated to the parent.

Please write to the Head to tell them what you've decided and why - changing school really should be a last resort after involving the Head, the Governors and the Education Authority. If it hasn't even got as far as the HOY and your son is this miserable then someone isn't doing their job properly. The school NEED to know so that when this boy starts on his new target there is a record that this is not one off behaviour. The Head will be very concerned that neither you nor the teacher have raised this issue with them before if the situation is so serious that you have got as far as deciding to move schools - - but it needs to be put in writing.

Edited: obvious cross-posted with DaisyEgg who is essentially saying the same, it needs to be escalated with his current school - whatever the eventual outcome.

Seanymph

I did!

Well I didn't, but my kids did.

My daughter moved from school a to b in year 10 - she had to change her options (spanish to german) - added art. But she had a choice albeit a different choice.

My SS joined her nearly a year later when there was availability in his year.

She was one term into year 10, he joined at the start of year 10.

There were exam adjustments, at the new school some exams were taken in year 9 so they both played catchup. There were options that weren't available at the first school, and some from the first school not available at the second. But they made their choices, played catch up in some subjects and cruised for a bit in others.

The new school did modular exams, the first did end of course ones - so they both had to take extra module exams in the first term or two.

But that all settled down for them.

We made a positive choice for them to move school, it wasn't because we moved - and their two siblings remained at school a believe it or not because they were more suited to it.

I wouldn't change it for anything, we moved them at their request, because we felt the other school would suit them better, and it was a good call.

If your son is being bullied I wouldn't pause for a heartbeat. It will change his life.

I also don't think that contacting school governors does a lot - I was one in school a and it certainly didn't help us with any of the things that were issues for our youngest children. All it meant was when I complained to the school within hours I got an email from my chair reprimanding me.

If you want to move him then he'll be fine - he can catch up, it's only logistics and it will all be able to be sorted.

minimacka

Thank you so much for your replies, i know that we should persue this further with the school and i dont want the bully to get away with this either but on the other hand i really dont want my son to be unhappy any more. He see's it that if we go through the process of complaining to the school having meetings all that will happen is that this boy will obviously be spoken to and maybe even given a detention but in the long run this boy may leave my son alone maybe for a couple of weeks/months but then there will be something else that he does to my son and my son will still be unhappy with no friends. His teacher suggested being friends with another boy at school who has been ill like my son and my son does know this boy from past activities but he has nothing in common with him now so this is not the answer, it was also suggested that because the school is very large with about 14 classess per year that the school is split into 2 halves each half not having any lessons with the other half but like my son said it wont stop it happening at lunchtime or breaktime.

We are going to have a look around the school tomorow and hopefully we will be able to discuss the options that my son has taken and if he will be behind with what he has done already at the present school.

x

Seanymph

I totally understand the 'on principle you should take issue' stance.

But you have to do what is best for your son as quickly as you can so the impact is as little as possible.

Good luck for tomorrow. I hope it is all you want it to be.