Relationship & Money Woes

Pee

Surely the decision as to which benefit to claim between two adults is made based on which will generate the larger income - maybe taking into account National Insurance or difficulty in coming off and then reclaiming benefits - either way you will sharing the money between you and with benefits the bulk if not all and a bit more will be going on the basics needed to sustain life, rent, bills and food.

If you can't trust him to claim and then share, then I'm sorry, you can't trust him and you are not a partnership.

PazDeLaHuertaFan

Quick update.

We broke up on Sunday, it was crazy, a lot of shouting on both our parts and some unkind things said.

He has stepped up his job search like I can't believe, he has three interviews lined up and has agreed to move out when he has the money to do so. I am no longer paying any of this bills so now all he costs me is food, so I'm making him live on pasta and veg!

I know I could kick him out onto the street but I won't.

Our relationship has failed but I don't want the same to happen to our friendship, especially considering there is the dog to think about. Technically the dog is his so will go with him when he moves out, but I wanted shared custody so am keeping him sweet right now. The dog is like my child and I will not part with him, it would break my heart.

Right now we are being very civil and everything is fine. How things will go when it is time for him to move out, I just don't know. I'm just sad that the relationship couldn't work anymore.

Also I'd like to add a big THANK YOU to everyone who responded, you really helped me get my thoughts in order which is what I really needed. :T:A:T

Bennifred

Oh well done you! It's great that you took control of the situation. And thanks for coming back to update us all - I was wondering how you are getting on.

Best wishes for the future - you're going to be fine.

cattie

Well done. I'm sure once he has left, you will realise just what a wise decision you made. Very often the thought of being alone is just that, a fear.

Once you are on your own, spending the money in the way you want it spent, watching what you want on tv, no smelly socks or underpants to wash etc, etc you will hopefully come to realise that living alone is a very enjoyable state!

PazDeLaHuertaFan

cattie wrote: »

Well done. I'm sure once he has left, you will realise just what a wise decision you made. Very often the thought of being alone is just that, a fear.

Once you are on your own, spending the money in the way you want it spent, watching what you want on tv, no smelly socks or underpants to wash etc, etc you will hopefully come to realise that living alone is a very enjoyable state!

Haha, I'm already mentally rearranging the furniture and that includes putting up a shelf for all those new bags I'm going to buy myself!

MandM90

Good luck PDLHF!

I've read too many of these threads where the OP has disregarded all advice and slumped back into their own ways. Well done you on making such a brave decision, and good on you for keeping things civil too.

I don't even know you and I'm proud of you

FatVonD

PazDeLaHuertaFan wrote: »

Technically the dog is his so will go with him when he moves out, but I wanted shared custody so am keeping him sweet right now. The dog is like my child and I will not part with him, it would break my heart.

In your position I would use him being currently strapped for cash to my advantage and offer to buy the dog from him so he couldn't change his mind if the break up turns nasty.

PazDeLaHuertaFan

FatVonD wrote: »

In your position I would use him being currently strapped for cash to my advantage and offer to buy the dog from him so he couldn't change his mind if the break up turns nasty.

No way!

He loves the dog as much as I do and the dog loves him. I'm determined that the dog maintains a relationship with both of us.

Taadaa

I didn't see the original thread, but a massive well done and congratulations to you and your new forthcoming bag collection x

Gillybean103

Wow well done. I've just seen this thread and you have without a shadow of a doubt done the right thing.

When i lived on my own i had a huge thing for handbags and would buy about 3 a week, i'll never forget when OH moved in and opened the cupboard, they all fell on him lol

I can understand how you feel about the dog, we have 2 and could not imagine not having them, however don't let him use it as an excuse to worm his way back in

Good luck!!