Wouldn't life be simple if we all just thought the same?!

euronorris

picnmix wrote: »

I know he has said it for all the right reasons, but doesn't think of the practicalities/cost of this things.

And woe betide if you try to point it out to him either. Even though it's just for future reference, I've found that OH reacts as though I've just said 'You're sh*t and everything you do is sh*t!'! In reality I've said 'Oh, darling, in future could you not do/do x, y or z because of a, b or c reason.'.

And then later (like weeks later), he's forgotten all about it. We may be watching something on TV, or I'm relaying a story to him, and he'll say something like 'Don't know why he reacted like that. I wouldn't. You can just tell me, so I know.'. Cue lots of :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:from me.

Thing is, I KNOW I do the same sometimes. :whistle:

euronorris

Oh yes, OH openly uses selective hearing. 'All I need to know though, is X & Y.' OR (this one really winds me up) 'But I already KNOW what you're going to say!' Really? How? Well blow me, I've got myself a pyschic boyfriend after all!

Sometimes he's right. More often, he's wrong. Doesn't matter how many times he's wrong, he won't ever accept the possibility at the time and also does the 'shaking head' thing. It's so irritating.

aliasojo

Spendless wrote: »

At the risk of sounding incredibly sexist it's fellas. Logic, attention to detail and common sense fly out the window!!

I honestly believe that to be true.

cottonhead

I think this happended because men usually seem to take what woman say exactly as to the letter rather than use some common sense and make adjustments according to the situation.
I totally agree with your standpoint but I also know 100% if I were in your situation, my husband would have done the same as yours !

euronorris

I don't know about all men, but I'm pretty sure that with my OH it is his pride and desire to resolve the problem as efficiently as possible. That means removing or ignoring the details. Unfortunately, the details are often pivotal.

aliasojo

OH has just sent me a jokey text. Clearly his way of trying to suss out how the land lies before they come home. :rotfl:

I'm not mad at him as such, but we do need to have a serious sensible talk about this (again!) and I already know that's probably going to cause an atmosphere.

He doesn't 'do' serious and sensible and we're never usually on the same wavelength so for him, talking about this kind of thing is akin to having his eyelashes pulled out one by one with tweezers.

londonsurrey

Threaten him with nose hair pulling. That will really focus his attention

To be fair to him, he did try to follow what he understood. So he wasn't being funny. He just needs the BUT added to the non-spend policy.

Steel_2

Just had something similar with hubby this morning.

Last time we had a sick animal in the bathroom it took me two days and eventually me throwing a hissy fit to leave one heat source in the bathroom as it was the middle of winter and it was sick. Animals don't need the added stress toll on their sick bodies of trying to keep warm.

I explained this...and he would still switch everything off. He would actually switch everything off even after I told him to leave something on because he wanted to save money.

Fast forward to last night and we have a sick animal in the bathroom again sitting shivering on a heat pad with halogen heater nearby and a warm radiator next to it. He said he was worried about the halogen heater setting something on fire so I said fine switch it off, as long as she has a minimum of one heat source overnight - either the radiator next to her or the heatpad - she'll be ok, but no less.

HE SWITCHED EVERYTHING OFF.

The heatpad, the heater and the heating.

Poor bloody animal was damp and chilled this morning when I went in there at 6am so we had it out AGAIN this morning.

This time he claimed he only did what I said.

"I turned off the halogen heater"
"OK. So why is the heatpad, the heating AND the halogen heater turned off?"
"Because you said it was ok to turn off the halogen heater."
"So why is all three heat sources turned off and not just the halogen heater?"

Cue a look of confusion. He physically had to switch off the heatpad, then switch off the halogen heater, then turn down the thermostat on the heating. Three actions, not one. They're not all tied together so if he flicks one switch everything shuts down.

I'm going to have to do what I did last time and stay up late until he is asleep to make sure he hasn't turned everything off. I simply cannot make his brain understand the sick animal needs a heat source while it is too sick to take care of itself.

His brain will not compute the information, yet he's an intelligent man. And he's the first to admit he'd be upset if anything happened to one of our animals.

SO WHY IS HE DOING THIS????

Phew. Anyway, vent over. Now he won't get in the ear when he comes in, but I am going to take away his roast dinner tomorrow night if he touches anything heat-wise tonight.

aliasojo

Steel wrote: »

His brain will not compute the information, yet he's an intelligent man.

He's obviously one of those people for whom action, and actually seeing something firsthand, makes more of an impression than simple speech.

So....bearing that in mind.....I suggest you very carefully fold the duvet in half on the bed tonight, so you have half under you and half over you.

He may then realise what removing a needed heat source actually means.

londonsurrey

Tape over the switch. This way, the tape has to be physically removed to be turned off. I did this for computer servers that had to be left on all the time. A simple piece of sellotape, following the line of the switch, is surprisingly effective.

And because of the way your husband is, I'd add a "DO NOT TURN OFF" note over it, and cover that with clear sellotape. He'd now have to TEAR OFF the "DO NOT TURN OFF" notice to turn off the switch.