How much money would you give?

Fuzzy_Duck

My boyfriend and I have been invited to a wedding. The couple have specified that as they already have everything they need they want money for their honeymoon. My boyfriend feels it's a bit cheeky and whilst I can understand it it's a bit annoying as I fear I'm going to look cheap. Last time I went to a wedding I bought a beautiful one of a kind cake stand for just £30 that looked like it was worth a lot more and was greatly appreciated. I don't feel I can pass over £30 as I expect it will look a bit stingy.

On the other hand the wedding is not local so we will also have to pay travelling costs and a nearby hotel. We also have to get to two venues on the day and as we don't drive we'll need to use taxis. I'll be trying to get as cheap a deal as possible but train tickets will be £60 each so I expect we'll be spending a couple of hundred just to attend.

I was wondering what amount you usually give as I understand asking for money is pretty common these days? I'm sure this kind of thing depends on many factors but I'd still appreciate a general guide to see what most people feel is reasonable.

Thanks

MrsDrink

Who are the couple? How close to them are you? How likely is it that they will see you as stingy? How much do you care?

*This* is why I disagree with asking for cash.

I personally would be overjoyed with £1, but then my first wish is to receive nothing. Sorry - probably not much help!

ampafc

What other people feel is irrelevant - it's your money and you should decide how much you want to spend.

I'm sure £30 is reasonable - it's a case of each to their own.

sugarwalsh

At our wedding we got everything from £20 - £100. Personally I would give £30 to a couple I don't know well and £50 to one I know better. Or I would get something for their house related to the wedding if I felt cash was wrong.
I am sure they will appreciate whatever you give them.

Tiara_2

Weddings can be expensive for guests to attend- the bride and groom will appreciate this. No need to spend more just because they would prefer to have money.

I don't think £30 is stingy at all- in fact I don't think £10 would be stingy. If you would have had a budget of £30 to buy a gift with, then don't feel the need to spend any more than that. If every guest just gave £10 then it all adds up and will enable them to maybe afford some treats on their honeymoon

chunkychocky

We only invited family to our wedding as we only had a small wedding. We already had a house and everything we needed but were expecting our first baby so we said that we didn't want a gift but if people still felt that they would like to give us something we asked for John Lewis vouchers so that we could buy things for the baby. We got anything from £25 to £300 of vouchers and it all felt incredibly generous. Given that it was family giving us £25 and that felt generous, I don't think you need to worry about giving more than £30. Our wedding was 6 years ago so the value of money hasn't changed that much since then, if anything as people are more hard up you could expect the gifts to be smaller.

Brightside

Some close friends of mine did similar a few years ago, they were going to New York followed by a Carribean cruise for their honeymoon, so we bought them tickets to see Chicago on Broadway as a gift rather than just money.

I have to admit we don't have a gift list, we have brought two homes into one and have one bedroom stacked with stuff we have two or three of which is slowly being flogged/given away. We don't want to be given gifts we won't use but guests seem to be upset we don't want anything. It is a minefield of expectation and to be seen to do the right thing.

bluebird

£ 30 is very fair,why do you feel bad,? buy a nice card add the money and have a whale of a time,think of it as a naughty weekend away with your other half.Enjoy.

slcookie

I think £30 is very generous! I went to 5 weddings last year - it soon adds up!

We had gifts at our wedding but some people gave us money for the honeymoon as well and it was really nice because we went round the US enjoying meals and treats with the money (shopping we paid for ourselves) - not once did I think "so and so only gave us £10 or whatever" we had a bit of a joke because my new FiL gave us a lot so most dinners were on him and back in the US working and travelling a few years later we only remembered the generosity of those people as we revisited places..

We also had a couple of excursions paid for so you could do something like if you don't want to just give cash?

RainbowDrops

The last few wedding presents I have given to friends have all been around £60, ecept for one that was more like £30, but that's partly because only I am attending that wedding as my OH can't make it.

emz118

We asked for no gifts, as we understand how much it costs to attend a wedding anyway, but if people really wanted to give something we would like money for our honeymoon.
We were given anything from £15 up to £500. I would say the average was about £20-£30.
Friends gifts varied between £15 and £50.
I honestly don't think that anyone who came was "stingy" I was just glad they could come and enjoy our day with us, as that was the most important thing to us.

The fact that we had over £2,00 in gifts was an amazing bonus, and means we can go away and have bought a tumble dryer, which we have wanted for years, but couldn't quite afford.

Don't worry about gifts or being seen as stingy. You have travelled from a long way and you will be spending money while you're there, and the bride and groom will appreciate that.