The "Pay ALL your debt off by Xmas 2012" challenge - PART 3!!!

jakes-mum

choclover wrote: »

My DH is the same too, which is one of the reasons why we're in the mess we're in, at least now if he wants to buy anything major he asks me first and usually we discuss it to the point where I say no But he's always the first one to complain that we have no money, and that I'm the one who spends it, but I just remind him of how much worse things were even just a year ago and that it's not going to last forever.

This is our money convo too, he hates having no 'him' money, doesnt understand hes already spent it and forgets this is just one year in our entire life. It does him good to be reminded this is not permanant and I also like to periodically tell him how much ive paid off as it gives him a boost. I told him a few weeks ago that we are under £4k owed (I dont include the OD's in my debts when talking to him) he was quite thrilled, I think it was the fist time since I started this challenge that he saw how well I was doing and he could see us really being DF by xmas, which before was just a saying I bandied about every so often

rubywhatashmoo

Ohhhh J-M how wise you are!! I never even thought to do that!

Bonglecat

It's such a relief to see that I'm not alone or even that unusual. After we got together my DH totally abdicated all financial responsibilities to me He never opened his bank statements or credit card bills so when I made payments to the cards I had to guess what they were. He always kept a sole bank account for his business expenses but if we got to our overdraft limit on the joint account (a far to regular occurance) he would just draw cash out from that account and end up at his limit too.

In the end I told him I was just going to open the bills that came even if they were addressed to him. With work I've done I have gotten rid of the overdraft on out joint account and paid off his overdraft on his expenses account, I made him cut up the cash card on that account so that he can't do it again. I've just arranged to transfer the balances off both his credit cards into one joint loan and cancel the cards, I'm letting him have a secondary card on my credit card account for emergencies only. And I've set him a budget for spending on him hobbies each month. I think that he has finally grasped the gravity of the situation and has cut down his spending accordingly.

The thing is that he actually told me why he did it. 10 years ago he saw a Doctor who, on taking his family history, said "well! a short happy life for you then." He became convinced he would be dead by 50 and therefore could do what he liked and hang the consequences because he wouldn't be around to clear up the mess. Needless to say he is now working with a counsellor over some of these issues.

M&S Visa £6331.38, Catalogue £Nil, Personal Loan £702.51, Overdraft £Nil =
Total Outstanding Debts £7033.89
Savings £1060
£2 Coin pot Holiday Savings £32

New Joint Loan = £29023.63

weight lost 11lbs to loss 24lbs

HelenPie

Bonglecat wrote: »

It's such a relief to see that I'm not alone or even that unusual. After we got together my DH totally abdicated all financial responsibilities to me He never opened his bank statements or credit card bills so when I made payments to the cards I had to guess what they were. He always kept a sole bank account for his business expenses but if we got to our overdraft limit on the joint account (a far to regular occurance) he would just draw cash out from that account and end up at his limit too.

In the end I told him I was just going to open the bills that came even if they were addressed to him. With work I've done I have gotten rid of the overdraft on out joint account and paid off his overdraft on his expenses account, I made him cut up the cash card on that account so that he can't do it again. I've just arranged to transfer the balances off both his credit cards into one joint loan and cancel the cards, I'm letting him have a secondary card on my credit card account for emergencies only. And I've set him a budget for spending on him hobbies each month. I think that he has finally grasped the gravity of the situation and has cut down his spending accordingly.

The thing is that he actually told me why he did it. 10 years ago he saw a Doctor who, on taking his family history, said "well! a short happy life for you then." He became convinced he would be dead by 50 and therefore could do what he liked and hang the consequences because he wouldn't be around to clear up the mess. Needless to say he is now working with a counsellor over some of these issues.

M&S Visa £6331.38, Catalogue £Nil, Personal Loan £702.51, Overdraft £Nil =
Total Outstanding Debts £7033.89
Savings £1060
£2 Coin pot Holiday Savings £32

New Joint Loan = £29023.63

weight lost 11lbs to loss 24lbs

Eek - my OH has always said he's sure he will die in his forties! No reason for it - just a feeling but he really gets worked up about it sometimes. I've suggested talking to someone but he won't and I don't want to push it. I hope he'll find his own way in time.

Odd coincidence. I don't think my OH's money issues are connected though

HelenPie

I've just bitten the bullet, so to speak, and done a tally of the new debt figures:

#077 £1,595.35/£16,660.26 9.58%

That's still 9.58% but we were at 12.74% a month ago :mad: We are still on track for the end of the year though (phew!)

H x

Avogirly

Good afternoon everyone!

Hope the weather is not too dreadful where you are.....;)

I've been making a few steady payments on my next card, which is also my first few payments since joinging this challenge.

I'm rubbish at maths (perhaps that's why I am in debt!) if someone could do the percentage that would be great!


#340 £10.00/£6534.22

MrsNoMoney_2

Spent all of today sorting out our finances and after checking my credit report it turns out that i have another debt, £432 Overdraft that i thought i'd paid off in 2009 :eek:. Checked all my statements from 2008-2010 and i definately didnt make any payment towards this. I would have bet my life i did but i must have got it wrong. They havent sent me a letter since May 2009 either so i obviously just forgot about it. I could actually cry, only just started this challenge and i'm already going backwards.

So my figures are to be amended to:

#? (Not got one yet)

£260/£5812
:cry:

his_missus

Hello all!

WOW! Just spent 50 mins catching up on lost pages, tried really hard to remember loads of stuff but my mind's blank again!

kerri - 2 min shower???? It takes longer than that to regulate its temperature from scalding to freezing to bearable!

Hope J-M and family are all feeling better and Fallen's (??? Sorry if it's the wrong person:o) OH is recovering well.

Those who feel they've fallen off the DF wagon, don't worry. Just get back on...that's what I'm trying to do.

Little to report here. Paid £100 to CC but when you take into account the £60 Mr A shop I'd put on it and the £40 interest, there's no change Hoping to pay some more off later in the month but there just isn't the spare cash around at the moment:o My loan DD goes out on the 1st May so that will show a nice dent in my debt soon:)

Keep debt-bustiing xxx

fallenwiccan

thanks his missus he seemed so much better this morning. Doctor gave him some new painkillers and he's like a whole new person, was even thinking of going outside for a walk. Considering he spent 90% of last week lying in bed I'm taking this as a very good thing. I left him on the sofa playing video games when I came out to work today.

Looking forward to pay day so I can pay off our CCs and get everything sorted and hope that I don't need to dip into my savings to survive the month he'll be on SSP. At least we're onto normal mortgage payments from here on out but now we have to pay council tax.

psychopathbabble

The forum still isn't working properly on my internet... getting rather annoying!!

Minor success in the deposit dispute today... they agreed to return the carpet cleaning charge. The rest is now in the hands of the dispute agency although housemate is going round to look at the sink as the photo I received doesn't make clear the supposed damage.

No debt-busting here as I'm skint til payday now. Mr S is getting on at me to get a job, but there just isn't much out there! That and the minimum salary I'm willing to take means not a lot of vacancies available.

Hope all is well with everyone.

ETA: I know the man vs money thing well! Mr S seems to drain money even when he isn't spending any!