I'm miserable :-( Neighbour came round & saw how chaotic my home is & I'm ashamed...

POPPYOSCAR

I understand how you feel.

It is done now so do not beat yourself up over it. Just remember next time if it is going to cause you so much concern, do not let anyone in next time it is like that.

Why not if you can get it tidy in the next couple of weeks invite her round for a coffee so she can see it is not always like that;) That might make you feel better.

I know people should take you as they find you and she probably will not take any notice and you may be worrying for nothing, but we do worry all the same sometimes.

POPPYOSCAR

archiesdad wrote: »

Don't beat yourself up, I am sure she wasn't judging nobody is perfect. My house is never immaculate a lot of my friends have houses like show homes and sometimes it gets me down. However my children are happy are always fed and clothed, I would much rather take my kids to the park to have fun and enjoy the sunshine than be obsessing about how tidy the house is, your kids will remember fun things as they grow up not how tidy the house is!! I'm sure life is challenging enough with a 'special' child without worrying about how tidy the house is ((( )))).

A friend once told me that she never left the house in the morning until all her housework was done and everything was clean and tidy. I told her in that case I would never leave my house!!!!!!!

tigerfeet2006

We have two great threads running on here at the moment. The Flyladies, who have a new thread each week and The Messies, which is a long running thread. Pop over and have a read and see if either of them can be of any help. They are different types of threads so I am sure one will suit you.

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/3870313

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/3164594

GreyQueen

Awwww, hun, sorry that you're feeling a bit down in the dumps about this. I'm sure your friend would be upset if she thought her visit had put you down.

I think most of us look around each others' homes out of sheer noseyness, not because we're giving marks out of 10 for cleanliness and tidiness...........

I'm a singleton and occasional frequenter of the Messies Thread and haven't any excuses for my untidiness such as raising children, never mind a child with special needs, and contributing to the good of humanity via charity work.

Currently, I have a basket of un-ironed clothes, a sofa full of carp, a tray of seed spuds on the tabletop and various boxes and bags all over the place. The cooker top needs a clean and some parts of my kitchen counters haven't seen daylight since mid-2011.............:rotfl:

I don't think this makes me a bad person. I chose of my own free will to read a murder mystery after work instead of cleaning and I feel all the better for it.

Life is finite and housework is infinite and will always be with us. You put your feet up, love, and remember that you're a child of the universe not an accessory to a vacuum cleaner or a dishcloth...............:A

monnagran

Cheer up Sweetie. We all have a role in life and mine is to make people feel better about themselves. If someone is feeling fat you can lay odds on me being fatter. If someone comes to my house unexpectedly you can bet your bottom dollar that they will go home and thank their lucky stars that their house is cleaner and tidier than mine.
We are important people, my love, the world would be a far worse place without us to give other people someone to feel superior to.

I have a friend who is even worse than me, (that's why she's my friend) and we have a pact that if one of us dies suddenly the other one will move in and go through the house like a tornado before the undertaker arrives.

My Mum used to say that a tidy house showed that no-one was doing anything - rich, coming from her, she was the original Mrs Cleanie.

Do you really want to live in the sort of house where people come in and tidily put themselves away? Noooooo, of course you don't.

I could go on but it's getting late and I have a mountain of STUFF to climb over before I can get into bed.

If you really want to be boring, try doing things for 10 or 15 minutes at a time a la Flylady.
Oh! If only I could practise what I preach.

You sound like a lovely, warm person.

meritaten

hun its YOUR home - and unless its a health hazard dont worry about it!
But, if you now think it should be a bit more organized/cleaner - then just do something about it!
I like a bit of untidiness! but at some stage it 'gets' beyond that and I go into a cleaning mode!
It's your home and only you can decide when its gone from 'lived in' to pig sty!

YORKSHIRELASS

Oh this has happened to me before, it can make you feel really awful. I have a neighbour who has an immaculate house and you can absolutely guarantee that if she ever comes to my place it will be like a bombsite.

So if you need someone to give you a hug and say there there I am right here for you. I dont know anything about your circumstances but keeping the house clean and tidy is not easy if you have a busy life, kids and lots of other stuff going on - I dont know how other people do it.

So chin up, you can be brave and just decide its over now and its not going to bother you any more. Easy to say but I bet she had forgotten all about it by the time she had got back to her own front door.

Mingle

Whenever I get down about the state of things I think of this:



i'd rather be happy than immaculate

xox

lollipopsarah

Well said, any house can be a show house.
A home is just that, with muck and all, where you can kick your shoes off and fell comfy.
Life is too short to spend cleaning - that's my excuse.
xx

Mojisola

Mics_chick wrote: »

It doesn't sound like a 'big' thing to get upset over but it is to me.

My neighbour and I are involved with a charitable group to help kids with special needs as we have at least 1 'special' kid each.
She came round to show me some crafty stuff she had bought today for an event we have planned next week for an Easter holiday activity.

She was politely pushy (iykwim?) so I couldn't put her off...
I took her into the kitchen and I pulled the door nearly closed to the lounge as it's the messiest room but she popped her head round the door to say hello to the kids who were watching tv. :eek:
I could see her eyes roaming around the kitchen looking at everything...

I'm ashamed and know I should be but it's still very difficult for me to deal with.

I'm on my own tonight coz my other half is staying with a disabled friend for a couple of days to redecorate for them before they have a special bed delivered next week.
This means I'm feeling it more coz I've got nobody to talk to, go 'there there' or put it into perspective...

Please be gentle... Gail

I can't see any reason why you should be ashamed. My health isn't very good and I now care for my parents as well. I take the attitude that my house is as good as I can manage at any particular time - if people come in (especially uninvited!) and they don't like what they see, that's their problem.

You've got children, one with special needs, and yet make time to arrange fund-raising events and your kind OH is off decorating for a disabled friend. Would I prefer to have you and your untidy house as a friend or a someone with a perfect house? You win every time!