I'm miserable :-( Neighbour came round & saw how chaotic my home is & I'm ashamed...

heretolearn_2

Don't worry about it, we are all different and prioritise different things. Some people get a lot of pleasure out of having a spotless home. Most people prefer to do other things with the time that takes - like I'm sure you spend lots of time on your children. To do an extra hours housework a day you've got to take that hour away from something else. Would your kids rather have a tidier house or you playing with them?

I hate going into perfect houses, I feel they are not comfortable.

Mics_chick

Finally back to say that I (and DOH) have tidied up ALOT in the last week since kids went back to school after Easter hols so will be able to invite neighbour in for a coffee soon

faerie~spangles

I hate housework with a passion. I really hate doing it.

This will possibly be judged to be odd - Minging sink full of unwashed dishes doesn't bother me in my home. If I saw it in someone else's home it would bother me.

My loo is always sparkling clean. You could write your name on my windows.

Make of the above whatever you will.

BitterAndTwisted

You're not odd at all faerie-spangles. I'm a bit of a slattern because I'm bone-idle but my laundry is always done and put away and the sinks and the loo are clean. Windows are minging but I can always find more interesting things to do. I need to get a grip, really. I probably will one day, just not now.

faerie~spangles

Sunday afternoon is a perfect example - I cut the grass rather than Hoover.

Hoovered my fish tank.

Put all the tea towels on the hottest wash with vinegar - two for one:D

Mics_chick

I've heard of peeps with tidy houses but cupboards stuffed full of carp - my house is the other way around - I can't stand putting stuff away unless it's sorted and organised...

tori.k

Have you ever been round to this neighbour's house? when i first met a now very good friend i remember the panic clean up when this immaculate domestic godess was coming round to mine for to collect something, a week later i had to pop to her's and had to laugh as caught her in the middle of the same mad panic clean up, we both agreed life was too short to do this everytime we were popping in for coffee

Lizbetty

This has happened to me LOTS of times. I can sympathise, it's a sickener.

I'm not one for caring if people's houses are immaculate or not. Oh actually, I have one friend whose house is almost empty with NO DUST EVER and I never feel comfortable there. I always think I'm going to have some sort of spasm and spill my tea on the carpet. It makes me miserable actually, because my house is full of stuff and always dusty, even minutes after I clean it. Her house being so clean just makes me feel (even more) inadequate, and does make me wonder if she locks the kids in a cupboard when they get home from school or something!

One of my other friends has to move lots of stuff so I can sit down when I go through for a brew, which makes me feel more at home :rotfl: The fact that she doesn't care as much as I would makes me respect her so much. Like me, she has kids, pets, a washing pile, and she knows that the mess isn't going to cause botulism (probably). That absolute freedom of not caring as much as I would if it were my house makes me very envious of her, actually.

My husband said though, my tidy friend's house is a bit dull. It could be anyone's house. She once actually admitted she doesn't think much (she says I think far too much, and she's right). Now she is very lovely, but my counsellor (oohhh yes) said that a house is a reflection of your mind, and my mind is all over the shop and a right state. That's why I hate people coming in when it's untidy, because I know they'll know I'm not in control (even though I give the impression to all 'EVERYTHING IS FINE!' if I meet them in the wide open) and occasionally some people (mostly women??) seem to feel better if their house is tidier than ours. Which is rubbish in my book. I don't answer the door when that type come any more. One neighbour realised this and so used to knock on the window right next to the settee where I might be sat. Thankfully, she moved and now I can see her car outside when she's visiting so I can hide and lock the doors before she gets to the window. In fact, she's stopped coming now, thank god.

Anyway. What I'm trying to say is, if the old girl was having a nosey around at your house, then that's rude. I think that's far worse behaviour than having a messy house. Was she dragged up? The main thing is though that YOU were obviously not comfortable with how it'd gotten, and when that happens, it takes a situation like this to kick us up the butt and sort it out to a reasonable standard so that we're comfortable with how it is. That's all that matters, how comfortable you and your family are with your home.

I offer my tidy friend/nosey neighbours a small window during which they can call round after I've had a proper huge tidy up. If they can't make it in those few hours after a tidy up, they have to wait until the next time I do it before they can come through! :rotfl:

I would suggest that there are more people in your boat than you can imagine. I hope that you feel better about stuff and please remember YOU ARE PERFECTLY NORMAL.

Sending big hugs and lots of female solidarity vibes!!! xxxx

meritaten

I was expecting someone at at a certain time today - and - they turned up an hour early! the house was a tip! I was mortified (well it was CLEAN underneath but you wouldnt know that as you couldnt see it)! - because I was childminding DG - and the floors, sofas and the table was covered in toys, painting and colouring stuff, toy cars, a dolly house and the contents, various bits of coloured paper we had been merrily cutting up..........this guy I had only met once before (he came to help fill out a form) picked his way gingerly through the mess - sat down and sighed deeply, then said 'now I really feel at home here, my house is just like this'!
I could have hugged him - what a really lovely tactful thing to say!

sonastin

Mics_chick wrote: »

I've heard of peeps with tidy houses but cupboards stuffed full of carp - my house is the other way around - I can't stand putting stuff away unless it's sorted and organised...

I'm like this. while the place is tidy I can't bear to have a single thing out of place. As soon as there a few things out of place I can live with the mess but I can't bear the thought of just putting stuff anywhere. OH gets frustrated with me because I don't tidy up often enough. I get frustrated with him because he doesn't tidy thoroughly enough. I suppose we balance each other quite well!