Cannot afford to live together

jellyhead

Me too. When my husband and I got together we felt like we WANTED to live together ...

System

I thought living together was something you did because you loved eachother and not down to the cost.

Kaz2904

It's a very sad state of affairs which brings people to these situations. I am horrified that people are becoming worse off by moving in with their partners. I don't know what the answer is though.
Perhaps the only way of making it fair is for all single parents have to house share? After all, it would cut the amount of money paid out in housing benefit wouldn't it. That's obviously not the answer either though is it.

TheConways

I think a big problem with the system is that the government takes a large chunk of your money with one hand, and then hands it back - minus a large administration fee - with another hand. Why not just tax those with low incomes much less in the first place?

In Switzerland (where we live at the moment), you pay less tax if you have children - the more children (up to 4), the lower the tax rate. I currently pay 20% tax - if we have two children, we will pay 10% tax. If either my husband or I give up work entirely so that one of us works, and the other raises the children, the single-income earner pays even less tax.

Everyone gets 300CHF/month per child as a child benefit (~200 GBP)... Flat rate. No expensive means testing. It sounds like a lot, but not if you are living here as it's very expensive.

I definitely agree the OP should put together a budget, and I do think that the current tax system is a financial disincentive to live together... I hope the other incentives to live together outstrip that!

Good luck

FBaby

Oooooh, sounds like it is time to look for a job in Switzerland, I speak French too and love skiing, might start broadening my job search!!! Ooops, forgot, I'll have to convince my partner as it is only beneficial tax-wise I bring him....better promise a lot of free weekends of skiing rather than doing housework, that might do it!

ellay864

Its not just about benefits though. When I met my DH he was divorced and had got living arrangements that meant he paid out very little, but he had huge debts and most of his salary was going to pay them off. I was a single mum, not on massive benefits due to my income but I did benefit from council tax rebate and get some tax credits.
If he'd moved in with me I would have lost those and he would have increased his petrol expenditure by a massive amount as he lived near where he worked, while I'm an hours drive away. We worked out we would have been around £350 a month worse off and we just couldn't manage that. He came to mine after work on a Thursday and left when he went back to work on Monday morning and it was 5 years before he moved in. But we managed and in that time we worked really hard to get his debts down.
Sometimes you do have to be a bit practical sad and less romantic but better than ending up in worse debt which woud have also knocked onto my kids

inch_high

Thanks for your many replies folks.

(except the predicted negative drivel the likes of Sassy Blue come out with)

I do want her to move in and it will happen. I guess we can afford it, altough it will be a struggle due to current debts etc.

My query was whether I was missing something as I didnt think it could be right that by building a family environment etc can make you financially worse off than living separately!

RAS

Hi

Maybe one solution is to go over to Debtfree Wannabee - rather less judgemental, post and SOA and see how to reduce your debts before moving in together.

Nothing like debts to grind a relationship down.

inch_high

sassyblue wrote: »

If losing benefits is one of the reasons the OPs other half won't move in together then l'd let her carry on being the sponger she is and dump her.

It's not a reason she wouldnt be moving in.

How is she a sponger? She works 37 hours a week and brings up a polite and well behaved little boy.

She isnt some trollop that sits watching Jeremy Kyle all day without any job at all.

I think you should have a little word with yourself before you go wading in to the next thread...

Toomuchdebt

When my partner left me(he cheated on me) I ended up better off on my own with the kids. I have started working part time now as I just couldn't stand being on income support any longer, and I am slightly better off,with a much better self esteem for working I do think it's crazy that couples living together are worse off than single parents. I would however move in with someone if I loved him as I value that more than the extra money. I am exhausted from being on my own with the kids with never a day off, working evenings,getting home late,trying to do it all myself Much easier when there's someone else around, even just to talk to for a bit of support.