Cannot afford to live together

Mado

To me the main questions would be:

Would you rather come home to a lodger or a partner?
If you are unsure about the answer, than maybe it's not right for you.

As many have explained, the overall outgoings should be considerably reduced.
I assume you both pay for water, electricity, gas TV licence and council tax and these will be reduced as there is only one home to apy for.

balletshoes

DylanO wrote: »

Their income will be lowered by an amount which dwarves the amount their outgoings will be lowered.

He will lose £350 each month
She will lose around £800 each month

Considering that she works, it's not a stretch to assume that the majority of the cash benefits she receives will go towards childcare - she will lose those benefits and as she's not gaining a house husband, she'll still have that large cost.

He will, rightly, want to protect his asset and so she will not be able to contribute to the mortgage, just pay rent, rent which is less than he would get with his lodger, and his bills won't go down because instead of their being two people in the house, there will be three.

It's not as clear cut as you seem to think.

but she won't necessarily lose those benefits for childcare - the childcare element of child tax credits is calculated separately from the standard element. If, as the OP suggests, they will still get some child tax credits, then the gf will still be able to claim up to 2/3rds of her registered childcare expenses, as both her and the OP are working over 16 hours per wk.

OP the household bills your gf currently has to pay out of her income, fuel, utilities, phone, house insurances, TV package etc will go when she moves in with you, so she'll have that kind of money to add to the household pot at least.

peachyprice

DylanO wrote: »

He will lose £350 each month
She will lose around £800 each month

But they're not.

She can pay him £300, the same as she's contributing towards her £500 rent now, she won't need housing benefit because she's not paying £500 rent anymore so she's lost nothing there.

The only thing she actually 'loses' is some of the tax credits, but her outgoings will be shared with OP, so she'll only have to pay 50% of the food, utilities, council tax etc, not 100%.

The only thing he actually 'loses' is the £50 from the lodger because she's paying him £300. And he gains because she's paying 50% of the food, utilities, council tax etc.

JimmyTheWig

flutterby_lil wrote: »

I know that I would rather wake up every day with my OH and lose money that I got as a single parent than get the extra money and wake up alone.

Money is not everything. My family mean more to me than money.

I agree with this.

Of course it doesn't seem fair. But what's the alternative? Leave a single parent family to starve? Or pay all families enough benefits to live on regardless of income?
While I like the idea of all families receiving enough benefit to live on, I can't see it ever happening.

So, you're stuck with the situation that you're in.

Firstly, you need to sit down and work out a budget to see if you can _afford_ to live together. If you pool your incomes and include what benefits you will be entitled to, does that cover all your bills? Does that leave you money for food each week? Does it cover all your necessities?
If it does then you can _afford_ to live together.
If not, post an SoA on here and people can help.

Obviously with less money coming in you'll have to miss out on some luxuries.
But you'll be living with the woman you love.
It's up to the two of you to decide whether that is worth it or not.

JimmyTheWig

peachyprice wrote: »

And he gains because she's paying 50% of the food, utilities, council tax etc.

Are you saying that the food bill won't go up from feeding the OP on his own to feeding two adults and a child??
It's cheaper to eat together, certainly, but not free.

[strike]Equally, with council tax he'll lose his 25% discount. Ok, so he'll be paying 50% rather than 75%, but it's still not a 50% reduction.[/strike] As per duchy below, this is wrong!

While I think they can probably afford it, I don't think it helps to exagerate the savings. We don't want the OP back here in 6 months time saying that they're not coping with their budget because they've under-estimated all their costs.

sassyblue

inch_high wrote: »

We are both on around £17 - £18k a year.

How can she be so much better off as a single parent?

My feelings exactly, this country's a joke isn't it? :rotfl:

duchy

JimmyTheWig wrote: »

Are you saying that the food bill won't go up from feeding the OP on his own to feeding two adults and a child??
It's cheaper to eat together, certainly, but not free.

Equally, with council tax he'll lose his 25% discount. Ok, so he'll be paying 50% rather than 75%, but it's still not a 50% reduction.

While I think they can probably afford it, I don't think it helps to exagerate the savings. We don't want the OP back here in 6 months time saying that they're not coping with their budget because they've under-estimated all their costs.

Surely council tax will be the same as there is currently the OP & lodger living in the house and if the move goes ahead there will still be 2 adults living in the house so the only person currently getting the single person discount is the GF -so assuming CT is £1000 per household -currently OP pays £500 (half of the full rate lodger pays the other half) and GF is paying £750 so HE will save nothing and she will save £250 (obviously properties may be diff bands but the general principle is the same).
Savings in general would be TV licence, insurances, TV packages, broadband, phone and a joint food bill and probably less going out . Also her rent -Really it seems the best thing would be to set up 3 spreadsheets -a his now, a hers now and a living together one and crunch the numbers properly.

Mojisola

duchy wrote: »

Really it seems the best thing would be to set up 3 spreadsheets -a his now, a hers now and a living together one and crunch the numbers properly.

Excellent idea!

It would also be the basis for a SOA - they might also find they can save money by following people's suggestions whether they decide to stay as they are or move into together.

peachyprice

duchy wrote: »

SOP pays £500 (half of the full rate lodger pays the other half) and GF is paying £750 so HE will save nothing and she will save £250 (.

Or they will both save £125.

FBaby

But of course, life as a single parent is very very tough as we hear over and over....until they want to do things rightly when they decide to move with their boyfriend and suddenly realise that they will be worse off as a man/wife couple....

The reality is that single parents do very well indeed, and so it can be a shock when suddenly they have to lose out all their benefits.

To be fair on the OP, it is even more of a shock to realise that by moving together, you are not in essence bringing both income in, but the OP is suddenly expected to subsidise for what the government used to provide to the single parent. It is obviously right to the tax payer, but a big realisation for the one who is directly affected. That's the reality of things though, by moving in together, you are officially considered by the tax man has a couple with the same duties and responsibilities towards each other as if you were married and the children issued from the relationship. Morally, it is laughable, because if the children have a good relationship with their dad, or are older, a reconfigured family will never be comparable to one where children belong to both partners, but that's how the governement considers it and they rule the roost!!!