FIL refusing to get out of bed

Artytarty

My husbands Uncle went like this.
Would not get up, would not eat meals on wheels, would only come to us if collected ( 5 min walk). I think it was deep depression and when he died (heart attack followed by pneumonia) I looked upon it as a really long form of suicide. Very sad.

miss_marsters

Your F-I-L any my grandad sound like they have similar conditions which fall under the umbrella of COPD
http://www.lunguk.org/you-and-your-lungs/conditions-and-diseases/copd

Just like you we have had the rollercoaster of the dreaded chest infections 5 since November and counting...

When he is having a flare up he constantly says he wants to die, again and again and isnt interested in anything, honestly all we can do is tune it out and wait out the infection...

He will have carers 3x a day but honestly i think he just does it for my nanas sake, without i dont know

Sorry, i'm not much help but there should be a specialised team locally that can give better specialised advice regarding the oxygen, medications etc. My grandad gets terribly depressed at times but its a terrible disease, so you cant blame them really

Good management and self management should help, if he needs oxygen it can do further damage, but it should be weigh ed on quality of life rather than quanity at the age of 82. I know we'd rather have grandad happy well (most of the time!) and enjoying however long, months or years hes got.

Is your FIL a religious man? i know my grandad finds some comfort in talking to his priest

Regarding care, he may be eligble for some help towards care, although it is means tested. If cooking is an issue, try http://www.wiltshirefarmfoods.com/ my grandparents love them, they come frozen and a carer heats them up at teatime

and BTW, my grandad hesnt left the house (freely) since last November, its his choice and we just have to go along with it

System

Good management and self management should help, if he needs oxygen it can do further damage

We were told that too when my StepFather was told off for using too much oxygen (he too had emphysema).

ginger_tony

Sorry to hear about your FIL illness my mum has the same condition and it so sad to see how much it affects them both mentally and physically. we too have problems getting my mum to move out her bed, do anything etc. We tried for ages to get my mum the oxygen in the house, we fought it tooth and nail it wasnt until she had been i hospital for a while did they then decide to give her oxygen in the house and they also gave her a nebuliser and which we were told she should have had all along but no one knew she didnt have one due to lack of communication between gp and hospital. The oxygen really makes my mums life bareable because honestly my mum was so depressed before she got the oxygen i was becoming concerned for her mental state. She is now much sharper mentally and we as a family feel she is much healthier for having oxygen(no hospital stays for a long time)
iF i were you l would stress to your FIL who seems like a proud man that if he is to keep his wits about him and to keep himself mobile then he needs to be upright and move around so that what oxygen is in the body is circulating to help his body and mind work to the best of its ability, if not both mind and body will deteriate which would be worse for him in the long run. l know it can seem cruel but if it gets him up on his feet that whats important. I do this with my mum and its works because deep down she wants to live life as full as she can but sometimes the depression takes over so we do what we can to keep her going.Good luck.

Dunroamin

Judi wrote: »

We were told that too when my StepFather was told off for using too much oxygen (he too had emphysema).

People are far more likely to suffer damage without oxygen than by using it too much as lack of oxygen damages vital organs like the heart.

The perpetuation of this idea is largely a cost cutting exercise used to limit the number of people prescribed LTOT and can be totally avoided by the use of a pulse oximeter.

Dunroamin

ginger_tony wrote: »

iF i were you l would stress to your FIL who seems like a proud man that if he is to keep his wits about him and to keep himself mobile then he needs to be upright and move around so that what oxygen is in the body is circulating to help his body and mind work to the best of its ability, if not both mind and body will deteriate which would be worse for him in the long run. l know it can seem cruel but if it gets him up on his feet that whats important. I do this with my mum and its works because deep down she wants to live life as full as she can but sometimes the depression takes over so we do what we can to keep her going.Good luck.

Absolutely! The more efficiently muscles work, the better able they are to use the limited supply of oxygen they receive. Exercise is absolutely vital and I can't recommend a course of pulmonary rehabilitation (available on the NHS) too highly as my husband would have been dead years ago without it.

patchwork_cat

Just done a bit of research and a pulse oximeter is £26 at Amazon http://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B0055OVLOA/ref=asc_df_B0055OVLOA7156765?smid=A2MNMJ54ZUUKVL&!!!!!googlecouk06-21&linkCode=asn&creative=22242&creativeASIN=B0055OVLOA it might be worth getting one.

Dunroamin

patchwork_cat wrote: »

Just done a bit of research and a pulse oximeter is £26 at Amazon http://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B0055OVLOA/ref=asc_df_B0055OVLOA7156765?smid=A2MNMJ54ZUUKVL&!!!!!googlecouk06-21&linkCode=asn&creative=22242&creativeASIN=B0055OVLOA it might be worth getting one.

My husband's one is dearer but we wouldn't be without it.