FIL refusing to get out of bed

Dunroamin

jackieb wrote: »

I wondered about that, but it's what she was told - also her daughter-in-law is a GP so i'm pretty sure if the type she needed was available then they'd know about it.

You'd be surprised - oxygen prescription in the UK is a very hit and miss affair, as the case of the OP's FIL shows.

jackieb

Dunroamin wrote: »

You'd be surprised - oxygen prescription in the UK is a very hit and miss affair, as the case of the OP's FIL shows.

I think our area is pretty good. My Dad has oxygen at home and got it no problem.

I do feel for the OP's FIL though. It sounds as if he needs a lot more help than he's receiving. Does he attend a chest clinic?

Dunroamin

jackieb wrote: »

I think our area is pretty good. My Dad has oxygen at home and got it no problem.

My husband was prescribed it eventually after a struggle where they lied about his oxygen saturation figures. It's even more of a fight to get portable oxygen for use when going out as you're expected to sit indoors and wait to die!

jackieb

Dunroamin wrote: »

My husband was prescribed it eventually after a struggle where they lied about his oxygen saturation figures. It's even more of a fight to get portable oxygen for use when going out as you're expected to sit indoors and wait to die!

My Dad's nurse just told me to go to the chemist and ask for a portable tank - and I got it there and then! We must be very fortunate - the doctors, nurses and even the chemist have all been great.

faerie~spangles

dandy-candy wrote: »

My FIL is 82 and has emphysema. He hasn't set foot outside the house for about 3 years although the doctors kept saying he must take gentle exercise (a walk down the road or around the garden) and they won't give him oxygen at home, instead he has various pills and inhalers.

2 weeks ago he caught a chest infection from my SIL who stays with him during the week, and had a sort of fit. She took him to A&E and they gave him antibiotics and sent him home. He went to bed and got better but now refuses to leave his bed incase he has a funny turn again.

His 87 year old brother is having to get the bus to his house everyday to bring him lunch in bed, and my DH and SIL bring him dinner.

I spoke to my SIL yesterday and she said apart from getting up to go to the loo, he hasn't left his bed the whole time and is unwashed and in the same clothes since 2 weeks ago. My DH has offered to help him but my FIL absolutely refuses to do it.

The GP has visited and said it is important he gets moving but he just says "I will tomorrow" and then doesn't. What on earth do we do?

He's nearing the end of his life!

You listen and give him what he wants. NOT what you think he should have.

faux_2

daska wrote: »

When mum went to bed we tried everything. We even employed a private physiotherapist in an attempt to get her to sit up. The Physio told her, the GP told her, SS told her, we told her, the only thing that worked was getting a friend to come to lunch - she sat up at the table in the spare room for 20 minutes, but only because she would have been mortified for a friend to visit her in her bedroom! Would he be embarrassed if a friend found him still in bed? Or is there anything similar you can think of that might persuade him to move?

But during our search for anything to use as leverage or encouragement I discovered some research stating that, for elderly people to recover the body tone they had before they went to bed, it takes 3 weeks for each day of bedrest.

You really do need to get him to the specialist asap and gear up for some tough love.

I don't think Embarrassing him or giving the tough love treatment is that ethical considering that he is from what is written both depressed as well as physically ill. I think at this stage on his life you should all just let him get on with what he chooses, but be there to support him.

Emmzi

faerie~spangles wrote: »

He's nearing the end of his life!

You listen and give him what he wants. NOT what you think he should have.

he may make a full recovery and live another 20 years.

he is being selfish!!

CH27

faerie~spangles wrote: »

He's nearing the end of his life!

You listen and give him what he wants. NOT what you think he should have.

Absolute rubbish!

Dunroamin

Emmzi wrote: »

he may make a full recovery and live another 20 years.

he is being selfish!!

You do not recover from emphysema and you are extremely unlikely to live for another 20 years when you're already in your 80s!

I think that this chap could get better treatment for both his emphysema and depression but if he feels he wants to go when he's already of a great age then that it by no means selfish.

Selfish is when families can't let go when there are no other options.

dandy-candy

patchwork_cat wrote: »

You say he had a sort of fit. What did A&E say was the fit - did they evaluate him for a stroke?

Yes but they didn't think that was what had happened, they felt it was a lack of oxygen due to the chesst infection that had brought it on.

Dunroamin wrote: »

I've just realised that you haven't said whether he's still smoking. If so, this might be the reason that he hasn't been prescribed oxygen.

He did give up smoking a few years back after a long hospital stay.

Blackpool_Saver wrote: »

he is probably afraid of being around people incase he gets another infection, GP's shouldn't be relied upon to make decisions when someone is SO ill, he needs to see a lung specialist, does he have a nebuliser etc ?

This is a real problem. My SIL lives up north but works in London during the week and so stays at my FIL house. She is constantly coming down with horrendous colds and bad chests but has no qualms about staying with him. My DH and I have discussed this many times but she goes mental at any criticism and hasn't anywhere else to stay so I can't see how we can stop her coming when she has a bug (she still goes in to work).
He does see the specialists at the local hospital, but they say if ever he's bad just bring him in - something we can't do if he refuses to move.
He doesn't have a nebuliser. I don't know what condition you need to be in to qualify? Before he took to his bed, he would be able to manage (slowly) around the house. If you stayed a few hours chatting then by the time you left he would be a bit breathless as though he'd been jogging, but ofc he was just sitting in a chair the whole time. I'm not sure if that is bad enough to need nebulisers/oxygen at home?