The horse or our family???

darkpool

ehmmmm how long does a horse live? the problem might sort itself given time.....

Fosterdog

The title of the thread worries me, it shouldn't be a case of the horse or the family, the horse should be a part of the family.

OP I think you are being incredibly selfish expecting your OH to get rid of a horse that has been in her life for longer than you.

If my OH asked me to get rid of a pet it would be OH out on his own.

I could understand if it was a joint decision and you really couldn't afford it but with the wages you both are on there is no reason for you not to be able to keep the horse and have enough left over to save for a house deposit.

Me and OH only earn £22000 a year between us with us both working full time with no prospect for promotion and no other job ops in the area. We earn roughly the same so contribute 50/50 for everything. We manage to pay our rent and all of our bills, pay his ex CSA for his four children along with our day to day living costs, which includes food, clothing and entertainment for his four children 3 days one week and four the next. We can even stretch to the luxury of a basic sky package.

I really don't understand how it can be possible to earn what you earn and be struggling financially as much as you say you are. Rather than asking your OH to get rid of her horse you should be more worried about looking into where the rest of your money is going and finding things for you to cut back on.

gettingready

Ermmmmm???????

all-the-gear-but-no-idea wrote: »

I have a series of financial ties (car hp, horse livery and credit card) that are not in any way related to my partner.

.......

It worries me to think that my assets will suffer (car, horse) because of something that happened in the past that I had nothing to do with

Huh?

Make up your mind OP as people are very helpful here - if you are straight with them.
From what I see..... hmmmm ... whatever.

fluffnutter

A combined household income of £63K should allow plenty for treats and a horse. The OP and his missus both need a reality check.

Laconic

I feel for you, OP. However, it does seem that the horse is only the visible symptom of a much deeper problem. The real question is: Can the both of you actually afford your lifestyle? Would stepping off the 'middle-class' trappings nonsense and moving to a cheaper rental, cheaper cars, slightly cheaper shopping actually clear debt and build up those future-changing savings? Is that something the both of you could bear to consider?

If not, all getting rid of the horse will do is create deep resentment and yet another opportunity for impossible spending expectations. A bit of a hiding to nothing, if you'll pardon the pun.


Good luck! Look forward to seeing how it turns out.

Edwardia

The question I'm asking myself is why have a baby if you can't afford the horse ?
A child is way more expensive than a horse !

sharnad

You have to sit down get out a pen and paper write everything down and have a serious talk about your finances tell her that you need something out of the relationship as well

rising_from_the_ashes

Since the OP hasn't appeared back (nor visited the DFW board with his SOA) - I think he was maybe thinking (hoping) we'd all say get rid of the horse and that his OH was being unreasonable .......

LisaB85

In my eyes a horse over a man any day. I assume the OP has a flashy car, big house etc as I would be happy and comfortable on half their joint salary!

If it is a problem eg horse on full livery which is expensive then there are ways to cut back say cut back to part livery and find someone to do the mucking out for a couple of days a week in return for rides and a small contribution.

Mojisola

gettingready wrote: »

Myself? Put in this situation, as his partner - I would keep the horse.....and let the OP go....

Fosterdog wrote: »

If my OH asked me to get rid of a pet it would be OH out on his own.

rising_from_the_ashes wrote: »

Since the OP hasn't appeared back (nor visited the DFW board with his SOA) - I think he was maybe thinking (hoping) we'd all say get rid of the horse and that his OH was being unreasonable .......

Maybe he's shocked at how many people are suggesting his OH should throw him out because he has dared to raise the problem of how much the horse costs! Would you all really like a child to grow up without a father in the home because Mummy's horse came first?

The first step has got to be to put all their expenses, including the horse, down on paper. Keep the discussions black and white and about the figures; keep emotions out of it.

On the money that's coming in to the house, they should be able to live comfortably. There's plenty of help available on the Debt-free Board if they need advice but they'll only work this out if they start pulling together.