Am I really that Awful

McKneff

I just cant understand why this person would tell you something which she must have realised would upset you.

Can't help but think 'how nasty was that, and probably only 5% of it would be true anyway, jealousy creeping in probably that you are a but more popular, she was showing her true colours Im afraid.

I wonder how she would be treated by others if you confronted them and you said 'this person' had told you what they had said.
She wouldnt be too popular then would she?

Hermia

Tearful_girl wrote: »

My aim today is to say no at least once!!

Good luck! The more you do it the easier it becomes. Generally, my rule is that I will help someone now and again, but anyone who expects help all the time gets ignored especially if they are not grateful or don't reciprocate. In my experience the people who love/like and respect you don't impose on you (even if times are tough) and are grateful.

Tearful_girl wrote: »

Someone else told me others were slagging me off, I don't know why she told me to be honest! I'm starting to think she is as bad if not worse than they are!

That does make me wonder what her motives are in telling you and what she really heard. I remember a friend once told me someone was slagging me off. When I actually found out what was said it was basically constructive criticism and whilst it was difficult to hear it was a million miles away from slagging me off.

rdchick

Hi Tearful girl,

You and me are one of the same! I read a book over Christmas called 'Being Too Nice for your own Good'. It was great!

I also went on an assertiveness course at the end of last month which was great and they say if you say yes to someone or something you are subconsciously saying no to something else, whether that's time for you or getting home on time or doing the things that are more important to you so decide if that time they are stealing is worth it and sometimes you can just say no without an excuse or reason

As for your 'friend' ignore her, you know who your real friends are.

big hug! xxx

tinktinktinkerbell

jackieb wrote: »

That's not true. Maybe it's your own personal experience but it's not everyone's.

i dont know a person that this does not apply to

euronorris

tinktinktinkerbell wrote: »

i dont know a person that this does not apply to

Exactly, it is your experience only.

I think you need better friends.

This used to be common amongst my friends, but as we've grown up, it's fizzled out. And anyone who continued to do it, tended to drift apart from us anyway as we wouldn't participate and pulled them up on it each time. Just as we didn't want to spend time with someone who was always b!tching about others, they didn't want to be with someone who didn't want to b!tch about others.

tinktinktinkerbell

euronorris wrote: »

Exactly, it is your experience only.

I think you need better friends.

This used to be common amongst my friends, but as we've grown up, it's fizzled out. And anyone who continued to do it, tended to drift apart from us anyway as we wouldn't participate and pulled them up on it each time. Just as we didn't want to spend time with someone who was always b!tching about others, they didn't want to be with someone who didn't want to b!tch about others.

i need better family as well then

notakid

tinktinktinkerbell wrote: »

i need better family as well then

From what you're posted about your Dad, he seems a great Dad, it seems he is disgusted at your behaviour.

One step too far tinks, he can accept the life style, the lack of employment/lack of get go, your tattoos/appearance even your BB but your insistence of being "disabled" and needing a wheelchair seems a step too far. He'd rather distance himself.

If you behave badly you have to take the consequences.

tinktinktinkerbell

notakid wrote: »

From what you're posted about your Dad, he seems a great Dad, it seems he is disgusted at your behaviour.

One step too far tinks, he can accept the life style, the lack of employment/lack of get go, your tattoos/appearance even your BB but your insistence of being "disabled" and needing a wheelchair seems a step too far. He'd rather distance himself.

If you behave badly you have to take the consequences.

well i havnt behaved badly

and him 'distancing himself' came long before my HM diagnosis

notakid

tinktinktinkerbell wrote: »

well i havnt behaved badly

and him 'distancing himself' came long before my HM diagnosis

In your eyes maybe not.

To him a step too far.

We get what we put in this world. 99% of time people will respond to kindness and you will get good deeds returned in spades. Okay some people aren't nice but you distance yourself from the toxic.

tinktinktinkerbell

notakid wrote: »

In your eyes maybe not.

To him a step too far.

We get what we put in this world. 99% of time people will respond to kindness and you will get good deeds returned in spades. Okay some people aren't nice but you distance yourself from the toxic.

can see your point about the last part

and i'll say again, the distancing happened before the diagnosis