Devastated after finding out about an affair

victory

Tryingtobestrong wrote: »

I am a long time poster on here but I'm not ready for people to find out yet.... last Sunday I discovered my partner of 7 years was having an affair. To say I am devestated is and understatement. I am not blameless as for the past 3 years we have had issues and I have pushed him away, I didnt realise how much I loved him until now. He knows how wrong it was to do what he did but said he felt worthless and unloved. It could have quite easily been me not him that cheated in the end. the girl involved is alot younger than him ( and me) and I know her

He finished it straight away and we have talked like we have never talked before, we both want the relationship to work and have agreed that since I found out we have told each other honestly how we both feel. We have a little girl

Has anyone been through this? any tips for getting over the suspicion I am ok most of the time but then get a horrible feeling of dread that he is still lying, a bit irrational as he leaves his phone out for me to check and other than work he has been with me. I am desperate to move on and trust him again. Sorry for the ramble I have not told a single person and this is the first time I have wrote it down:(

Keep talking because now you know you will have so many questions, so much anger and rage, so much distrust, it is so early yet to deal with all the emotions that go with it, give it time, go to relate, keep talking, it really will take a lot of time and patience and understanding from both parts but if you both want it to work, you will have to put in the hard work and eventually the pain will ease and it can be a happy marriage, good luck:D

I_know_my_ABC_and_my_CMYK

Tryingtobestrong wrote: »

I am a long time poster on here but I'm not ready for people to find out yet.... last Sunday I discovered my partner of 7 years was having an affair. To say I am devestated is and understatement. I am not blameless as for the past 3 years we have had issues and I have pushed him away, I didnt realise how much I loved him until now. He knows how wrong it was to do what he did but said he felt worthless and unloved. It could have quite easily been me not him that cheated in the end. the girl involved is alot younger than him ( and me) and I know her

He finished it straight away and we have talked like we have never talked before, we both want the relationship to work and have agreed that since I found out we have told each other honestly how we both feel. We have a little girl

Has anyone been through this? any tips for getting over the suspicion I am ok most of the time but then get a horrible feeling of dread that he is still lying, a bit irrational as he leaves his phone out for me to check and other than work he has been with me. I am desperate to move on and trust him again. Sorry for the ramble I have not told a single person and this is the first time I have wrote it down:(

My brother and his wife went through this around 18 years ago. He said they had grown apart. They both became too busy for each other,

They both had a business each to run, and on top of that he was going off fishing at 4am Saturday morning and coming home late Sunday evening nearly every weekend when they could have spent time together.

All it took was for one guy who was Jack the lad to come in and sweep her off her feet, and everything came crashing down.

My brother has always said that what kept them together and they are still together today was talking like they hadn't talked before, and to keep talking all the time, even when it feels a chore to do so.

Also spending as much quality time as is possible together without children if you have grandparents they can be left with, they left their two with our parents and went away for weekends.

Having said that quality time doesn't have to cost anything, going for a walk together is just as good and free.

You can get through this through by being open and honest with each other, keep talking and spend time together.

My brother and his wife have been married for around 30 years now and nothing would come between them now, they are far stronger than they ever were.

Good luck, I wish you all the best, if this relationship is what you want then grab hold tightly and don't let go.