Emz is sick of being skint...

Emzilla

Really sorry everyone - this is going to be a self-indulgent 'sorry for myself' post.

I'm 31 the week after next, and that may not sound old to most of you, but it's well over middle-age in terms of Cystic Fibrosis, and I just really feel like I've wasted my life. I've done nothing with it. I haven't been to uni (got a couple of A levels that I just about scraped through on), I haven't got kids, I haven't got my own house, I haven't done any real travelling of note - what have I done?

I feel so so lost. I don't know what to do. Not expecting any answers - just needed to get it off my chest as I'm all alone tonight and kind of freaking out.

Emz xx

beanielou

Big hugs Emz.
I think we all feel like that sometimes for whatever reason.
I have a big birthday this year and TBH my life has not turned out how I imagined at all.I feel very sad about that sometimes & as I get older the effects of my disability become more pronounced.
The financial pressures just seen relentless.
But.........I also know that you & I are survivors and will keep plodding.There are no easy answers.
xxxx

Emzilla

Thanks Lou :A.

beanielou

The most important thing that you have BTW is a truly amazing relationship with your family & that is priceless.

Emzilla

beanielou wrote: »

The most important thing that you have BTW is a truly amazing relationship with your family & that is priceless.

Thanks Lou - and I don't mean to sound ungrateful or anything - I know a lot of people out there have it worse off than me. Being a good auntie was the one thing I think I have excelled at .

Emz xx

ZTD

Emzilla wrote: »

Really sorry everyone - this is going to be a self-indulgent 'sorry for myself' post.

I'm 31 the week after next, and that may not sound old to most of you, but it's well over middle-age in terms of Cystic Fibrosis, and I just really feel like I've wasted my life. I've done nothing with it. I haven't been to uni (got a couple of A levels that I just about scraped through on),

Why do people go to university? To get qualifications. Why do people get qualifications? To earn more.

However to offset the cost of university, this implies a certain career length. To be blunt, you probably won't manage that.

Why else go to university? Get drunk, smoke pot and wake up in strange beds?

Is that worth your time?

Emzilla wrote: »

I haven't got kids,

That's because you can't. You also don't have wings like an angel for similar reasons.

Emzilla wrote: »

I haven't got my own house, I haven't done any real travelling of note - what have I done?

We don't know. What have you done? Tell us. Don't hide your light under a bushel as they say.

Emzilla wrote: »

I feel so so lost. I don't know what to do.

What do you *want* to do. Everything above is just a shopping list of what you feel you are *expected* to do.

So simple question: What do you want to do?

Emzilla wrote: »

Not expecting any answers - just needed to get it off my chest as I'm all alone tonight and kind of freaking out.

:grouphug:

I've no answers (as usual), just questions.

Emzilla

Thanks ZTD. You always make so much sense. I often forget that I'm not 'normal' as in career, kids, buying a house etc etc. Not saying that's a bad thing, just all of those things have always been out of my reach.

I guess what I really want to do is be able to look back in 5-10 years time and know that I have done things with my life and not just feel the same way that I do now. Not major things (think I've left it too late for the big things), but things that I will be able to say 'I wanted to do that, and I did it'.

Emz xx

ZTD

Right, so what do you *want* to do?

Extreme sports?

Streaking at Twickers?

What?

Emzilla

ZTD wrote: »

Right, so what do you *want* to do?

Extreme sports?

Streaking at Twickers?

What?

Nothing quite that daring - a few things have sprung to mind, so I'm making sure I get them all written down.

Emz xx

gothrockchic1

Emzilla wrote: »

Really sorry everyone - this is going to be a self-indulgent 'sorry for myself' post.

I'm 31 the week after next, and that may not sound old to most of you, but it's well over middle-age in terms of Cystic Fibrosis, and I just really feel like I've wasted my life. I've done nothing with it. I haven't been to uni (got a couple of A levels that I just about scraped through on), I haven't got kids, I haven't got my own house, I haven't done any real travelling of note - what have I done?

I feel so so lost. I don't know what to do. Not expecting any answers - just needed to get it off my chest as I'm all alone tonight and kind of freaking out.

Emz xx

Hey Emz, I know the feeling you reach a certain time probably before a birthday and thats when you reflect on life. ZTD is right as always what do you want to do? The Dayzero list is awesome as it gives you a timescale but I have my own lists as well as the Dayzero I had a 30 things to do before 30 and now a 35 things to do before I am 35. Ok I havent completed a lot but a few will be crossed off the list soon when I move