Nightmare flatmate has moved partner in

hoojaa

Hi,

I'm a joint tenant in a 2 bed rented flat. I share with one other person and we've been in the flat for around a year.

My relationship with the other flatmate has become extremely frosty, and she has started to 'act out' in numerous ways that really inconvenience me. However in January she announced she was moving out 'sometime in April'. I want to stay in the flat so figured I would grit my teeth and get through it. I've chatted to her a couple of times since January and this still seems to be the plan.

However a couple of weeks ago some new bits and pieces appeared in the flat, like a box of men's toiletries in the bathroom. Her boyfriend, although he's sneaking around, has clearly stayed with us every day for these two weeks. He now has his own key, which I *hate*. I am genuinely worried he has moved in. I have emailed my flate mate but haven't heard back so far.

I am concerned she is either going to a) tell me he is staying until she moves out and there's nothing I can do about it, or b) tell me she's decided to stay in the flat and wants *me* to move out.

I feel that him staying in the flat is effectively stealing from me; he's not paying for anything, indeed they seem to be trying to hide him being there (I am out a lot, work is very busy, so this isn't too hard). Why should I subsidise this guy? I am also worried this is a breach of contract. It's a standard AST, sorry but I didn't manage to dig out my copy so can't find the terms, but I assume there's a standard clause in there forbidding this.

What are my options here? I want to tell her he cannot stay without my permission - or is it the permission of the landlord that really matters? If she just says 'tough', what can I do? Report her to the landlord? Small claims court? If I declare this guy is an unwelcome guest, the police? Like I said, these people are not friendly towards me. What if she just says 'he isn't living here' - I don't have any 'evidence' (unless she replies to my email at some point confirming it). I was really looking forward to seeing them less, but now they are always in the flat and I basically avoid them/avoid being there as much as I can.

If she says she's moving out very, very soon, I may find a middle ground and tell her he can stay as long as he covers his share of rent, bills and council tax i.e. pays me. Does anyone have an opinion on this?

The second option is that she says she is staying and I should leave. Again, is there any way to fight this? Ask the landlord to pick between us? Or is it simply that whoever cracks first leaves? She is full of dirty tricks so that will clearly be me, which would really annoy me as I have put up with her for 2 months already on the understanding I would inherit the flat at the end of it. I have even put effort into sorting out her replacement.

I would be super grateful for advice. I have the complete nightmare flatmate on my hands. Thanks.

jee

You need to find your signed agreement before you do or say anything.

princeofpounds

You both have full access rights to the property. So you can chuck him out and she can let him back in again. This is obviously a silly situation, but as joint tenants you can't really untangle yourself easily.

Legally speaking there isn't much you can do unless you are being threatened, in which case you could apply for an occupation order in court. But you are light years from that.

So you are left with the following (assuming negotiation fails)

- Generally make it difficult for him (and potentially her) to stay. How petty or aggressive you want to be is up to you. You could chuck him out when she is not around, and call police if he refuses to leave. You could get permission to fit a security lock which has non-replicable keys, and only give your co-tenants one copy. You could take fuses out of the fusebox when neither her nor you are around but he is.

- Tell the landlord. You don't know how he is going to react, but if you manage it correctly you might be able to persuade him to end your tenancy and re-award a tenancy to you only.

Personally I would go with #2, whilst making it clear that his occupation is not acceptable on a permanent basis. You should try not to moan too much to the landlord and to sell the idea in terms he will care about. (point out she is moving in unauthorised occupants, that her behaviour risks creating a void from a good tenant, that you would be able to instantly supply an alternative tenants if needed, etc)

Whatever you do, you will need to be assertive, and also strong. You want to show as little weakness as possible. It is tough, but frankly I don't think it can be sorted out without a bit of conflict.

tbs624

Either of you is entitled to have someone stay as a guest: it's at what point it looks like the extra person is using it as their only residence, plus the question of common courtesy.

Perhaps it really is a temp situation and they are trying to raise enough money for a deposit & advance rent on a new place after April?

Clearly any guest staying for more than the occasional night ought to make some contribution towards heat/light/lavvy rolls/washing up liquid etc. However, don't get into asking for rent/council tax contributions as your AST will usually forbid you to sublet.

Are either of you students or do either of you receive any benefits?

Note that as Ts who have J&SL you can both be held liable for any damage caused by this temporary occupant and the LL is unlikely to be unhappy about someone unknown to him being given a key to the property. I would raise the issue of this guy's presence with the LL

Is the LL already aware that she intends to move out and that you have been trying to find someone to take on a new joint tenancy agreement with you?

hoojaa

I contacted the LL a couple of weeks ago and informed him she was leaving; it was the first he'd heard of it. I then told the flatmate that the LL wanted an update; she just said 'ok'. The LL knows that I am happy to rent the flat myself if need be and can find a new flatmate quickly/have already started on the process. We had some email exchanges that said everything sounded fine.

Playing dirty isn't my style and I don't have the time! I appreciate the point about being accused of trying to sublet if I ask for money.

I'll have to chase the email I sent to the flatemate - I'd really like something in writing confirming the bf is now 'living' with us. Forwarding this to the LL and asking for him to resolve the situation/contract breach asap sounds good. Obviously if the flatmate said she was definitely leaving *soon* that would be better. I want to give the flatmate a chance to resolve this amicably - but I'm not holding my breath.

Btw there is absolutely no doubt this is now his only residence. He lets himself in and out, and I either see or hear him every morning and evening. They even hosted a joint dinner party on the weekend. MAYBE he is between places. We will see.

I will make sure to tell the LL he has a key - you are right this is a liability issue and I am sure the LL will see the legal problem. If he doesn't have his own key it will at least be a *little* more difficult for him to 'live' here.

The LL is a bit sedate but hopefully I can convince him this is serious.

(PS We are both working professionals, not students)

ruggedtoast

What is it with "young people" and their emails? Stop emailing about legal matters, don't even start.

If you want the landlord to sort something out write a letter and post it with proof of posting.

rentergirl

I agree this is often problematic: loved up people, when he is effectively a stranger to you. But: you are going to have a face to face conversation (without him being there) and explain the situation: that she has to give proper notice, and if he's going to stay, he must chip in with bills etc. Unless she also stays at his, in which case, you save money there? It's easy to just not 'meet in the lounge' and for things to get frosty. You sound as if you don't like each other. best that one of you goes, really.

hoojaa

Hi rentergirl: you're right, we do not like each other anymore, which is why it was so great she said she was leaving. And it made sense. It's extremely confusing what she's doing now.

We got on fine at first, both fairly busy independent types. But my career changed gear and I'm locked into a lot of long hours and studying - I'm trying to keep my social life intact too so I'm just not in the flat much. I leave early and get back very late every day. On the weekends I try to study quietly then go out, if I'm even there. At the same time she went part-time, started staying in the flat a lot, and really began to turn it into her 'domain'. I'm clean, quiet and reliable but she looks down on everything I do - for instance if I buy some house supply she'll throw it away and replace it with the 'right' brand... if I move something it gets moved back... stuff like that. One of the dirty tricks I mentioned was taking down my washing when still wet, leaving it to go mouldy. Apparently she's allowed to dry clothes but I am not! We are now a complete mismatch.

It's not precisely that I think the bf needs to 'chip in' (although he clearly should) - it's that I think/was hoping it is actually illegal for him to 'move in' without my permission. With him there all the time they now outnumber me and the already tense situation becomes worse. It used to be that she would stay at his place sometimes, which seemed fair-ish - but now he doesn't seem to have his own place so they are always in my flat. I would never have agreed to him staying. As others have noted I also seem to be liable - if the landlord decides this is a breach of contract or that the bf having a key is against the rules he could punish both of us, not just her.

The fact that he has moved in AND the fact I wasn't even consulted are both pretty irritating, but seperate, issues.

I am definitely due a frank conversation with her. One of us is leaving, I just hope it's her. I like the flat, and I've done nothing wrong.

PasturesNew

Rule 1: Never share, other people are R-soles

dimbo61

Never share is a great idea but as hundreds of thousands of people both students and professionals are now forced to do this Rule 1 cant always apply!
Speak to the Landlord asap

mimimt

PasturesNew wrote: »

Rule 1: Never share, other people are R-soles

I absolutely agree with this!

A few years ago, I had a worse situation that the one the OP is experiencing now. The boyfriend of the then flatmate would come in at 2am, slamming the door, they would then have very loud sex (I could hear bed shaking and very loud noises) and he would then shower and leave at 6am every day for a few months.

I had the worst period of my life during that time and virtually had no sleep at all. I don't even know how I managed to survive...

Needless to say, I never shared with anyone ever since