We’d like to remind Forumites to please avoid political debate on the Forum.
This is to keep it a safe and useful space for MoneySaving discussions. Threads that are – or become – political in nature may be removed in line with the Forum’s rules. Thank you for your understanding.
PLEASE READ BEFORE POSTING: Hello Forumites! In order to help keep the Forum a useful, safe and friendly place for our users, discussions around non-MoneySaving matters are not permitted per the Forum rules. While we understand that mentioning house prices may sometimes be relevant to a user's specific MoneySaving situation, we ask that you please avoid veering into broad, general debates about the market, the economy and politics, as these can unfortunately lead to abusive or hateful behaviour. Threads that are found to have derailed into wider discussions may be removed. Users who repeatedly disregard this may have their Forum account banned. Please also avoid posting personally identifiable information, including links to your own online property listing which may reveal your address. Thank you for your understanding.
📨 Have you signed up to the Forum's new Email Digest yet? Get a selection of trending threads sent straight to your inbox daily, weekly or monthly!
The Forum now has a brand new text editor, adding a bunch of handy features to use when creating posts. Read more in our how-to guide
Having a friend as a lodger
moblo
Posts: 22 Forumite
Hey there,
So I completed on my two bedroom flat last year in september and moved in roughly a month later after replacing most of the flooring. I took on an old friend as my lodger who had just finished university and had to move from his shared house.
We have been friends for probably 14 years now. But last night I told him that I wanted him to move out as I was finding it difficult. I feel terrible now!
It has never really felt like my own place with us both here. When he has friends over, it feels as though he hasn't told them he is a lodger. They don't treat the place with respect. One night he had three friends stay over. They left at about 10pm for drinks in town and left heaps of scrunched up beer cans and open bottles everywhere in the lounge. They came in at about 3am shouting and swearing. I have stumbled back in the small hours many times, but always manage to keep the noise down.
He kept his kayak in my lounge for a week on a towel, which turned out was damp. So my lovely new solid bamboo floor soaked up all the moisture, which lifted some of the varnish and permanently discoloured it.
He has scratched the floor in his room to oblivion with the computer chair wheels.
He leaves his wet kayak gear to dry in the bath and doesn't do a good job of cleaning up all the mud. It also makes the flat stink of river water as you can imagine.
When I was away he let a couple of friends sleep in my bed. But then challenged me when I took a bag from his room that we use for laundry sometimes. "what are you doing in my room" type of thing. Double standards much?
There are loads of examples I could reel off and all probably seem a bit trivial. But collectively it has become too much. I think he has been a bit immature at times and taken advantage of the fact that I like to have a relaxed home. I have discussed some of the issues with him, but not once have I had an apology. Even after messing up my new flooring all I had was "ooops" with a sheepish look.
Basically I am looking for some reassurance I am doing the right thing here, because I do want to stay friends. Is this what I can expect all lodgers to be like? I think I will find it easier with a stranger, setting clearly defined rules etc. Maybe I am deluded.
Once he has gone I plan on spending a few months fitting a new kitchen and hopefully bathroom. Painting the whole place and reconditioning the old Victorian windows. Then get someone else in.
So I completed on my two bedroom flat last year in september and moved in roughly a month later after replacing most of the flooring. I took on an old friend as my lodger who had just finished university and had to move from his shared house.
We have been friends for probably 14 years now. But last night I told him that I wanted him to move out as I was finding it difficult. I feel terrible now!
It has never really felt like my own place with us both here. When he has friends over, it feels as though he hasn't told them he is a lodger. They don't treat the place with respect. One night he had three friends stay over. They left at about 10pm for drinks in town and left heaps of scrunched up beer cans and open bottles everywhere in the lounge. They came in at about 3am shouting and swearing. I have stumbled back in the small hours many times, but always manage to keep the noise down.
He kept his kayak in my lounge for a week on a towel, which turned out was damp. So my lovely new solid bamboo floor soaked up all the moisture, which lifted some of the varnish and permanently discoloured it.
He has scratched the floor in his room to oblivion with the computer chair wheels.
He leaves his wet kayak gear to dry in the bath and doesn't do a good job of cleaning up all the mud. It also makes the flat stink of river water as you can imagine.
When I was away he let a couple of friends sleep in my bed. But then challenged me when I took a bag from his room that we use for laundry sometimes. "what are you doing in my room" type of thing. Double standards much?
There are loads of examples I could reel off and all probably seem a bit trivial. But collectively it has become too much. I think he has been a bit immature at times and taken advantage of the fact that I like to have a relaxed home. I have discussed some of the issues with him, but not once have I had an apology. Even after messing up my new flooring all I had was "ooops" with a sheepish look.
Basically I am looking for some reassurance I am doing the right thing here, because I do want to stay friends. Is this what I can expect all lodgers to be like? I think I will find it easier with a stranger, setting clearly defined rules etc. Maybe I am deluded.
Once he has gone I plan on spending a few months fitting a new kitchen and hopefully bathroom. Painting the whole place and reconditioning the old Victorian windows. Then get someone else in.
0
Comments
-
If you don't want him there anymore then kick him out. Does he have any legal right to be in the property? Does he have a lease allowing him to be there? Does your mortgage company know that you have a lodger?Estate Agent, Web Designer & All Round Geek!0
-
Hi
You are entitled to ask your lodger to move out with reasonable notice.
That might be one week if you are feeling generous, or 24 hours if he kicks off.
His behaviour is totally unacceptable - whoever he is living with.
Did he pay you any sort of deposit?If you've have not made a mistake, you've made nothing0 -
I think it's always best to draw up some 'house rules' in this sort of situation - even when you are already friends. This might include things like keeping shared areas clean and tidy, rules on overnight guests etc. It's strange what some people think is normal behaviour in their home! And if you felt the same, it would be fine, but obviously you're working to different standards to each other.
At the end of the day, it's your home and you should feel comfortable there.0 -
If he came straight from a shared Uni house sounds like he's treating your own home as he would have done any previous let. Definietly get rid and make sure you take a deposit and set some ground rules for the next lodger. Good luck!0
-
I think that this story will help convince a colleague that getting a lodger is not a good idea. He does need a bit extra to help make ends meet, so I told him about "airbnb" where you can get people who spend only one night. You can pick and choose your lodgers.
It helps to have good public transport links and being close to an airport is even better, but anyone with a spare room can apply.Who having known the diamond will concern himself with glass?
Rudyard Kipling0 -
Yep the mortgage company don't mind if I have a lodger steve and the income isn't tied up with the mortgage or anything. We have no written agreement.
I have known him for so long, we just discussed our expectations over a few drinks in the pub. I didn't take a deposit, just asked that he pay for each month in advance. He has always been brilliant at that.
I suppose he thinks of it like a flat share rather than renting a room and getting to use the other spaces. Perhaps I am a little envious that he has no worries and is paying about a fifth of my financial commitments, but reaps the rewards of all my hard work and overtime spent in work.
It's good to hear you think his behavior isn't acceptable. To be honest I think I lot of people would have had enough ages ago.0 -
PlutoinCapricorn wrote: »I think that this story will help convince a colleague that getting a lodger is not a good idea. He does need a bit extra to help make ends meet, so I told him about "airbnb" where you can get people who spend only one night. You can pick and choose your lodgers.
It helps to have good public transport links and being close to an airport is even better, but anyone with a spare room can apply.
That's interesting. I live on the doorstep of a university and its less than 10 minutes to walk to the overground train, which takes about 25 minutes into central London.
Oh, and I have given him until the end of April.0 -
:eek: I could not tolerate a week with someone like that. Lazy !!!!!!.
Make sure you lay down ground rules next time.
You could always go down the mon to Friday route so that you have weekends free0 -
Hey there,
So I completed on my two bedroom flat last year in september and moved in roughly a month later after replacing most of the flooring. I took on an old friend as my lodger who had just finished university and had to move from his shared house.
We have been friends for probably 14 years now. But last night I told him that I wanted him to move out as I was finding it difficult. I feel terrible now!
It has never really felt like my own place with us both here. When he has friends over, it feels as though he hasn't told them he is a lodger. They don't treat the place with respect. One night he had three friends stay over. They left at about 10pm for drinks in town and left heaps of scrunched up beer cans and open bottles everywhere in the lounge. They came in at about 3am shouting and swearing. I have stumbled back in the small hours many times, but always manage to keep the noise down.
He kept his kayak in my lounge for a week on a towel, which turned out was damp. So my lovely new solid bamboo floor soaked up all the moisture, which lifted some of the varnish and permanently discoloured it.
He has scratched the floor in his room to oblivion with the computer chair wheels.
He leaves his wet kayak gear to dry in the bath and doesn't do a good job of cleaning up all the mud. It also makes the flat stink of river water as you can imagine.
When I was away he let a couple of friends sleep in my bed. But then challenged me when I took a bag from his room that we use for laundry sometimes. "what are you doing in my room" type of thing. Double standards much?
There are loads of examples I could reel off and all probably seem a bit trivial. But collectively it has become too much. I think he has been a bit immature at times and taken advantage of the fact that I like to have a relaxed home. I have discussed some of the issues with him, but not once have I had an apology. Even after messing up my new flooring all I had was "ooops" with a sheepish look.
Basically I am looking for some reassurance I am doing the right thing here, because I do want to stay friends. Is this what I can expect all lodgers to be like? I think I will find it easier with a stranger, setting clearly defined rules etc. Maybe I am deluded.
Once he has gone I plan on spending a few months fitting a new kitchen and hopefully bathroom. Painting the whole place and reconditioning the old Victorian windows. Then get someone else in.
If it is making you unhappy having him there then you are doing the right thing. We have had lodgers in the past and for us never to be repeated.0 -
As a kayaker, and a lodger for several years, with the past 2 being with a friend of 16 years or so, I would never expect to treat my friends home like your friend has.
Kayakers know their kit smells, and boats stored in living rooms is fine whilst a student (as long as you're in a kayaking house), but completely unacceptable elsewhere. I'd say getting rid of him is clearly his fault, not yours!0
This discussion has been closed.
Confirm your email address to Create Threads and Reply
Categories
- All Categories
- 354K Banking & Borrowing
- 254.3K Reduce Debt & Boost Income
- 455.2K Spending & Discounts
- 247K Work, Benefits & Business
- 603.6K Mortgages, Homes & Bills
- 178.3K Life & Family
- 261.1K Travel & Transport
- 1.5M Hobbies & Leisure
- 16.1K Discuss & Feedback
- 37.7K Read-Only Boards