Having a friend as a lodger

moblo

You are right BitterAndTwisted. I have not lost my temper yet and always calmly explained problems I have had. I guess I feel close to the end of my tether.

I definitely like the idea of having a lodger. But when its friends there is the "oh but can I just...we are friends after all" aspect to everything.

He told me earlier there aren't many places available. I had a look and there are loads. It just doesn't suit him! I even saw one or two I quite fancied.

BitterAndTwisted

He's going to try and guilt you into changing your mind and end up harder to shift than a case of the boils. That is what "there aren't many places available" is all about: he's not got any savings and it's going to take him months to save up what he needs, well past the end of April, I reckon. Start printing stuff off the net and give them to him. You've given him two month's notice and if he can't save up a deposit and month's rent in advance on two months he's a bigger loser than he sounds right now.

Start keeping the loo paper on your room and make sure he doesn't start eating your food. He's saving up madly now, isn't he? He'll have no money spare for luxuries. Make sure you get the money off him for the utility bills before he goes.

19lottie82

OP, it sounds like he had a good deal with you. You did him a favour and he messed it up. You've given him plenty of notice, so please don't feel guilty.

He sounds like a chancer. Don't be sucked in by his guilt trips.

rentergirl

I just don't think you want a lodger. But also, having a lodger is different in law with regards to notice etc, but seem to think that they should behave differently. Remember, they are paying your mortgage for you, and are entitled to treat the place like their own home. Because it is. If you can't handle this, then don't have a lodger.

getmore4less

Get on with the DIY, he can live round you or move out(he has somewhere to go), sooner you get YOUR house in order the sooner you can relax in your own home.


you missed a chance to get him out

he offered to go stay with the friend for a couple of months, while he was away you change your mind you ain't coming back.

I would be carefull about focusing on you don't want a lodger,

It's this lodger you don't want.

Leave it open to get another on your terms, short term nightly weekday etc.


Going back to an earlier comment.

A lot of people have multiple personalities.

Their live with them life is very different to the other life.

moblo

rentergirl wrote: »

I just don't think you want a lodger. But also, having a lodger is different in law with regards to notice etc, but seem to think that they should behave differently. Remember, they are paying your mortgage for you, and are entitled to treat the place like their own home. Because it is. If you can't handle this, then don't have a lodger.

I don't think that is a fair statement really. I want him to feel at home and he has done. But there is a difference between feeling at home and treating the place like a hotel. He acts as if we are renting a place between us. Never feeling he has to apologise for any damage and having the cheek to say "no I didn't do that, you did it". When I very clearly didn't!

I told him he can have his friends over when he likes, if he wants a big group to stay he has to run it past me. I do the same. He has probably had more friends stay over in the lounge than I have. How many lodgers are allowed to do that? His girlfriend comes and stays for days at a time and is in the flat alone. I don't have any problems with that. But when you are in your own flat with a cold and get comments like "do you have to be so noisy" when you cough, you start to get a bit irritated.

I don't want this post to seem like I am having a go at you rentergirl. I can understand where you are coming from.

BitterAndTwisted I am not going to start any loo paper war just yet I will give him some time and let it sink in. I am still hopeful he will go without too much of a push. He has been living it up a bit lately. He should have kept something in reserve though when I didn't ask for a deposit or anything. He pays me monthly in advance.

getmore4less that is a bit too sneaky doing that and I imagine he would have left most of his stuff here. I said I don't want a lodger at the moment. I am going to see how I manage financially. I have had my yearly pay rise and some of my other bills have dropped dramatically so I will only be £50-£100 worse off without him here. Having a lodger just helps to save up for nice things faster.

jc808

moblo wrote: »

But when you are in your own flat with a cold and get comments like "do you have to be so noisy" when you cough, you start to get a bit irritated.

wow, thats pretty !!!!ing cheeky

olly300

moblo wrote: »

I don't think that is a fair statement really. I want him to feel at home and he has done. But there is a difference between feeling at home and treating the place like a hotel. He acts as if we are renting a place between us. Never feeling he has to apologise for any damage and having the cheek to say "no I didn't do that, you did it". When I very clearly didn't!

The mistake you made was moving him straight in after university.

If he had to put up with a sh*tty flatshare or houseshare were other people disturbed him, left it in a mess and used his things when he needed to be up and in work the next morning he would have been much more considerate.

With your next lodger make sure they have lived in an after uni flatshare or houseshare before letting them move in.

Also don't definitely don't move in with someone who has moved straight from home.

BTW you could get a Monday-to-Friday. They more or less pay the same amount but you have 3 nights a week at least when they aren't there.