Life in Denial

elantan

enjoy Blackpool

Piquant_2

electrobix99 wrote: »

I
I just need to think of a Birthday gift for him... I am thinking about popping the question but buying rings is expensive.

I have honed in on the exciting news....over the course of a lifetime, a ring is not expensive. Also, you can't put your life on hold waiting for the debt free day, you still have to live and enjoy doing so!

The rings could come later, you could propose and then together design your own rings and enjoy the challenge of getting them made for a reasonable price later.

Please let us know if you pop or not

Piq

electrobix99

Thanks :-)

I have seen some nice rings that are only £270 for the pair. Simple white gold bands with a little diamond in them.

We both wear silver so it will not stand out too much with the rest of our jewllery.

I have until the 9th of May to make up my mind/build up the courage :eek:

Piquant_2

Good luck! I hope he says yes.

You've been doing well and you could get a bit of that £270 put aside for May. It won't be the same as putting money aside for debt, this is putting money away for happiness and love.

It doesn't matter if you don't, commitment doesn't need a ring, you can get rings years down the line for a special anniversary instead.

Will I need to buy a fancy hat for the wedding?

Piq

electrobix99

I was thinking something like this... but bigger :rotfl:

Piquant_2

That is so me :rotfl::rotfl:If it rains everyone will be able to shelter under my hat! I can also double as your wedding marquee:rotfl:

Piq

electrobix99

And it the rain gets really really bad it would also serve as a lifeboat for around 20.

chevalier

HI there
Well done on getting a handle on your debts. I have a few things I thought I would comment on. I am a bit blunt at times so sorry if I offend.

First off. Why do you need to buy the things for the new flat from Ikea? Could you not get the same things second had off gumtree or ebay for a fraction of the price? And if you are even less fussy about what you get, you could look at your local council furniture house and get stuff for very little. Finally there is freecycle/freegle to scour, and if you are lucky acquire stuff from there for FREE:D.

Secondly have you had 'the conversation' about money with your OH that you are moving in with? It seems to me that you have VERY different attitudes to money, ie if he has a limit on a card he spends it, you understand that money spent on a credit card is not YOUR money but needs to be paid back.

The reason I ask this is that once you are renting together (with presumably both of you on the tenancy) you will be financially linked. So how he handles his money will impact on you. Are you going to have a bills account where both of you pay in your shares of the money, so that there is always enough for financial bills and the rent, and council tax? Or are you going to rely on him remembering to put this aside in his own account?

What will happen if you need to make a major purchase, and he can't afford his half because all his cards are maxed out? Will you bail him out? Can you afford to?

Just on this basis alone, I would put off proposing until you have had this conversation. And to be honest until you have been living with him for a bit. You may find he is lovely when he has his own space, but a complete nightmare to live with....There is no rush.

I just feel it would be better to go into this with your eyes wide open. Some of the saddest stories I see on here are those where one partner is desparately trying everything to clear debts, whilst the other partner blithely continues on spending, and undermining all their partners good work and effort....

Like I said sorry if this is a bit blunt, but thought it needed saying
chev

electrobix99

Hi Chevaliar.

We actually live together at the moment sharing a room in a friends house while we wait for this place to become available so no problems getting along in that respect. Infact I am probably the lazy one and he does more housework and cooking.

His attitude with money is getting better and he has been working lots of extra shifts to get the money for the desposit and new furniture (will come to that in a bit) and to pay off his credit card. He is not putting anything more on it and upped the payment from £70 to £100 after I showed him the sums of only paying the minimum off versus paying even £30 more a month.

With the furniture we could techinically make do with the stuff we have and not need to buy anything at all but I would like to have a nice bedroom and spare room for guests. We are talking about spending £350 total on another bed and additional bits for both rooms which I do not think is much in the grand scheme of things. I would rather feel happy about where we live and enjoy being there more than have the money. I have cut back in lots of other ways such as stopping smoking and buying DVDs, Blurays and Games....

We will have a bills account but not for a couple of months. I want to make sure we are on the ellectoral role and reports have been updated before we apply for anything. It will be bad enough moving twice in 5 months for me without adding risk to applications. Once that is done he will pay in weekly to cover his share of the bills. At the moment we pay a fixed rent payment with no extra bills so he manages it himself.

electrobix99

Another payment made on my loan with the money put aside. Means I have now paid off 7.5% of my debt :-)