Getting professional help to beat debt. Diary

elfy1807

Hi gmood.

I've spent the last couple of days (in between working) catching up on your diary.
You have such a great writing style that I have thoroughly enjoyed reading it. You are such an inspiration.

I personally don't have a massive amount of debt - I have a nearly new car on finance bought in January, and a debt to my mum (who is brilliant and says to pay it off when I can). However my mum has a large amount of debt, with 90% of it belonging to my dad - most of which he's built up in the last 8 years since leaving my mum. Like your husband, just spends spends spends. The second he gets any money, he blows it. He keeps trying to come up with "money making schemes". If he'd saved the money he "invested" in these daft ideas instead of investing, we'd have a fortune. But some people can't be told.

I'm reading diaries to get inspiration to help my mum with the debts. We've already reduced her house insurance by £5 a month, cancelled a rarely used lovefilm account and looked into getting a water meter so far.

Something I was going to comment on, but you seem to have spotted is that you're always tight at the end of the month with no "emergency funds" as such for car break downs. You're really eager to overpay on pay day, but this causes problems. I would have advised that instead of overpaying, put anything extra to one side until the day before pay day. Any money left - overpay and start again the next day (payday). If you need to dip into it during the month for various reasons, then use it. Not unnecessarily of course, but you don't sound like you would anyway.

I personally have a £10 personal allowance per week. My wages cover all my bills - car finance, car insurance, mobile & board to my mum and that gives me just enough for this allowance. Anything I want to do, like buy a new dress, buy a cake, go to Zumba etc comes from this and any extra at the end of the week goes into a pot and I restart on a Friday.

I've picked up a few extra hours at work and these will cover birthday and Christmas presents throughout the year - even though I don't have birthdays in April, I'll put the money away for birthdays later in the year, and hopefully put together some car insurance savings so I can pay for it in a lump sum, not monthly, saving me £42.99 a month.

Finally, cuz I'm rambling now, when going out - I don't spend a penny. I will only ask for a tap water to drink. If I am drinking, I won't get myself into a round. I'll decline politely and buy my own drink - yes, I may only have one drink that night that could've been paid for by someone else therefore costing me nothing, but then it could cost me much more next time. So overall I'm better off.

Oh, final final point - I know what you mean about having no money to go out and do something. I get a bit frustrated sitting in and doing nothing all weekend. Even more so now it's getting sunny. But my boyfriend doesn't think it's warm enough to go out for walks yet. Yawn. So I end up napping. If I'm sleeping I'm not spending so it's a positive I suppose haha.

I'll leave you be now. I'm subscribed as I'm looking forward to hearing of your last few months of your journey getting yourself out of debt. Good luck. Keep up the brilliant work!! You can do it!!

Getmeoutofdebt

Hi Elfy,

Thank you so much for popping in and leaving me a message! I really appreciate that you have taken the time to read my diary and to contact me! The whole reason I wrote the diary was to help other people by either them picking up a few tips that I have found useful or them learning by any mistakes that I have made. It pleases me to think that people are actually reading it and are inspired by it. I have a handful of regular readers who reply every now and then which I really like as it makes you feel like part of a community and their support really helps, however it is not often I get anyone new popping in so your message really cheered me up!

It is great that you can help your mum and I really wish you all the luck in the world in sorting out her debt. Just the fact that she has started to take control and do something about it is a huge step in itself and with your support along the way she will hopefully continue feeling positive and determined to clear it off.

Thanks so much for the tips re the extras that pop up throughout the month. I am going to try what you have suggested and keep some back in a separate account and if I have not used it at the end of the month, pay it off. I think that it will also give me something smaller to concentrate on throughout the month, like a task of how much of it I can keep in the account to pay off at the end. I have been having a bad patch these last couple of weeks as you will have read. Not only because of the unexpected bills popping up but I think it is because I have started focussing too much on the debt as a whole. Previously I have been paying off one debt at a time and not really focussing too much on the end, just on paying that one debt off then moving on to the next. Now I'm in my last year I've gone into panic mode and I'm thinking "Will I manage to pay it all off?" and then worrying that I won't!! I think if you concentrate on smaller goals time flies by without you realising and you look back and think "Wow have I really paid all that off?" It's like that saying, look after the pennies and the pounds look after themselves. The big stuff just sort of happens while you are concentrating on the small stuff.
I'm saying all this here now but at the same time I know I've not been taking my own advice!! Ha ha! I have been worrying more than ever these last 2 weeks about my debt and I know it's stupid because I've paid off over 20K. The worst of it has gone and I'm just left with about 7.5K but I'm fretting more than ever!! You know I'm wondering if a lot of people get like this towards the end..... I just remembered I once subscribed to a diary on here where the girl was in about 32k to begin with then got it down to about 3k and suddenly got really down about it and ended up on anti depressants because of the stress. I couldn't understand at the time but she was panicking about what she would do when it was paid because her life had revolved around debt for so many years. I kind of understand that now. It's hard to explain but as much as you want it to end, the end seems a bit scary somehow....

Well I'm rambling myself now so I'm going to go and try and work out some smaller goals to focus on. Good luck to you & your mum and tell your boyfriend it's not that cold!! You warm up when you are walking! :rotfl:
Thanks again for all your tips and support!

Gmood xx

elfy1807

Hi Gmood

I'm glad my post cheered you up.
I was having a right little ramble to myself. For some reason, reading your diary made me want to blurt everything out and I didn't realise how long my post really was until I'd sent it. Oops.

Also glad you found a few of my tips helpful - always good to know you have something valid to say to a pro debt buster like you.
I understand what you mean about small goals though - I believe there's a challenge on the DFW pages about 1% - divide your total remaining debt by 100 to find your 1%. Then aim towards each 1%. You already have a percentage of what's paid off, so why not a percentage of what's left. With the amount currently in your signature, it's only £66.62. That's such a small amount to pay off. 100 of those and you're done.
I have a few "100 square" charts set up - 10x10 - each time I pay off 1%, I'll colour a square in. Maybe that might give you another little bit of motivation, seeing it in smaller chunks like that. Instead of focussing on one debt like you were before, focus on 1%.

I suppose I can kinda understand how it seems scary when you're getting to the end. It's all you've known for such a long time and everything will change. But we're all here to support you and each other. The journey won't end just because you've finished paying the debt, it's just a new leg of the trip.

Anyway, once again, you're doing fantabulous!!!

Elfy xx

Getmeoutofdebt

Hi again Elfy!

Ooh what a great idea!!! Thanks so much for that!! (though it did remind me to update my signature which shows my debt has gone up after the car breaking down scenario!) I am going to add a new part to my debt spreadsheet and put 100 squares on it! It is little things like this that keep me going! I'm obsessed with updating / altering my spreadsheet! Lol. I suppose when you can't get out much your thrill threshold lowers and tiny things like this excite you! :rotfl:

That's one of the best things about being on here... there is always something new to learn / consider. It's great for brainstorming ideas!

Don't worry about rambling on.... It's miles better to get a long message than a short one!! You are welcome to pop on here and ramble on any time! Makes a change from me doing it all the time!


Gmood x

elfy1807

Sometimes it's better and easier to look at the little things than the whole picture. And if you get a few months down the line and lose your motivation again, update your 1%. Make the 1% from your new (hopefully lower) debt balance rather than the one right now 17/3/14.

There's definitely a lot of info/ideas on these forums and I'm thoroughly enjoying reading people's journeys, getting hints and tips. And it's nice to find one that's easy to catch up on from the beginning (threads over 1000 replies take ages to catch up... especially if a lot of the posts are just short sentences - I want to read the juicy stuff - the struggles, the accomplishments, the lot, not 20 people posting well done. Sure it's great to be acknowledged, but that slows down my catching up haha) and one that reads so nicely as yours does. As I said before, you have a great writing style.

And thanks about letting my ramble. I do. Often. My boyfriend will text me asking what I'm doing and I'll end up giving him a minute by minute recollection of my day. If it was the other way round, it'd usually be something short like, on the xbox haha.

Something I enjoy doing in the warmer weather - although I haven't done it properly for a couple of years now, is something called geocaching. It's a high-tech treasure hunt. They have a website and on there will be coordinates of places where somebody has hidden a container to be found by other people. The container can be something as small as a thumb nail, right through to tupperware boxes and bigger. They're often cleverly hidden, and you've probably walked past loads without even realising. If you've got a smartphone you can download a free app for it.
But it's great for getting out, getting a bit of exercise and enjoying it all for free. And it's something you can do with your dogs as well whilst walking them. There are also many "trails". A number of caches usually placed by one cacher (or more, working together) to put them along a circular walk or alongside a river or similar. So you can up the number of caches you've found in just a few short miles. Just a little freebie idea to try when you're feeling bored and fed up about being inside and having no money to go anywhere

I'm going to leave this post at that before I get kicked out for overloading the system with my words

Getmeoutofdebt

Well I'm starting to feel a bit less stressed and have a couple of things to distract me this week.

I have discovered that nectar have a survey website called Nectar Canvass where you earn nectar points for surveys! How did I not know about this before? I'm an avid point collector and I only discovered it by chance when I was googling for extra point offers. I haven't even seen it advertised on their website. You don't even need to save the points up to a certain value before you can withdraw. I only joined on Saturday and I have points on my card balance already!! Result!! I'm doing really well on my points at the minute. I set myself a target of saving £100 worth this year and I'm at £46 already only 3 months in!! i think I may need to increase my target a bit!:T

I have also pinched Elfy's idea after she popped in to say hi on my diary..... I have made a chart of 100 boxes each containing 1% of my remaining debt and I'm marking them off as I go along. (or at least I will do when I next get some money to pay off it) Each time I pay 1% I cross a box off. I was too busy stressing about the whole amount I still owe and needed some smaller goals to focus on. It is a really good idea because I think it will help me save smaller amounts towards my debt because I can see that x amount saved from spare grocery money plus the tenner from doing surveys or whatever will add up to enough cash to cross another box off. Even if it is only little bits at a time, I think the fact that I am achieving something will spur me on and keep me motivated and a bit more positive. Thanks Elfy!!

On the down side I have just forked out for a new car battery and it still hasn't cured the problem! Aaargh!!!!:mad: Going to try and send it back but in the meantime I've had to buy a wiring loom instead! I'm praying this will finally fix it as it is driving me insane!! I've had about 5 mechanics look at it now and no-one can find the fault! But I'm not focussing on that....... Need to stay positive and at least It is still drivable at the minute. I'll panic only when it breaks down completely! lol.

So that's my update for this week so far.
Hope everyone else is doing well and smashing their debt!! Sending positive vibes to you all reading this
xx

Getmeoutofdebt

Well Not a huge amount going on but it has been my birthday this week and I got a few pounds and Amazon vouchers which is brilliant! I'm going to save the vouchers for things I need and I have put the money in my Christmas account, which seems a bit daft in a way that I will be using my money gifted to me to buy gifts for others but it has to be done I'm afraid and it takes the weight off my shoulders a bit knowing I have some money on one side.
I've also had a pay day and paid another chunk off but it hasn't really got me any further as I was pretty much paying back to my overdraft what I had spent on fixing the car! And talking of that...... it turned out to be a bit of wire that just needed soldering back together after I had spent about £600 on parts and labour!! :mad:
Gained a few more nectar points and another £10 on swag bucks! I'm on a roll with them at the moment!! Yay!
Other than that, not much happening and still feeling a bit down that I'm not paying enough off to get debt free this year....

debtfreewannabe321

Omg at the car how annoying that it was such a simple job after all that?! Why didn't they pick it up at the beginning :eek:

I love Elfy's idea of paying off 1% of your debt. There is a thread on here somewhere i've seen it but not popped in. I hope it helps keep you motivated! I can also relate to feeling stressed at paying off the last of your debt, I feel more stressed now I've paid it off for some reason I felt relieved having got rid of the last of it but then I started to panic that we would end up in debt again and i've basically made us live as though we are still in debt, purse strings pulled on every budget. We are saving to buy a house though so that's my excuse I don't know what will happen when we've finished saving for the deposit I bet I can find something else to save for though

Getmeoutofdebt

debtfreewannabe321 wrote: »

Omg at the car how annoying that it was such a simple job after all that?! Why didn't they pick it up at the beginning :eek:

I love Elfy's idea of paying off 1% of your debt. There is a thread on here somewhere i've seen it but not popped in. I hope it helps keep you motivated! I can also relate to feeling stressed at paying off the last of your debt, I feel more stressed now I've paid it off for some reason I felt relieved having got rid of the last of it but then I started to panic that we would end up in debt again and i've basically made us live as though we are still in debt, purse strings pulled on every budget. We are saving to buy a house though so that's my excuse I don't know what will happen when we've finished saving for the deposit I bet I can find something else to save for though

Thanks Debtfree!!! Yeah i like Elfy's idea. I'm even trying to make myself feel better by paying the 1% 's throughout the month rather than all at once on payday. I'm fooling myself into thinking that I'm continuing to do good throughout the month that way instead of a big payment then feeling bad until the next month because I can't pay anything off!
Congratulations on becoming debtfree. I understand you feeling more stressed though. I think I will feel that way mainly because becoming debt free has become such a huge part of my life that I think I will feel a bit lost once it's all over and part of me doesn't trust myself to save up. I'm worried I may blow it all! Yikes!! It will be hard to deal with suddenly having money when I have never had any before!:)

elfy1807

Glad you like the idea
Shame it wasn't mine in the first place.
But I don't mind taking all the credit

I suppose I can understand how you feel stressed even though you're not in debt.
Although I'm not in debt as such (I have a car finance and owe some money to my mum - barely anything compared to some cases on here, which I feel quite fortunate about), I'm still tight with my money majority of the time and have a hard think about whether I want to buy something. Although I will occasionally impulse buy on a packet of sweets or something - most of my impulses are food, which doesn't help my diet. Oops haha. Or bargain clothes.

Saving for a house is a brilliant excuse. I think that's next on my agenda.
First - finish off my £1000 emergency fund - currently £570, due to go up to £770 on friday as I sold my old car to a work colleague's daughter this week for £200 - impressed I got that much for it tbh, but apparently she's desperate for a new car - must be if she wants to have my rust bucket haha. Then once that's done, I'll be looking to pay back my mum (slowly though ) and at the same time putting money away for spending money for my holiday to Butlins in May, money for presents for birthdays & christmas throughout the year, and for next year's car insurance so I can pay that in one lump rather than monthly. The plan is I'm paying £42.99 for my car insurance a month atm - next year I'll be looking to put that towards my debt to my mum instead. It's hard because I want to get that down sooner rather than later, but if I don't put away the money for the other things first, I'll just end up borrowing more from her.

Then, after all that, any extra income to me will be put towards my "bucket list". I have a whole range of thing I'd like to do - go back to WDW, go to Disneyland California, go to Disneyland Paris (see a theme here...? haha), try the taster menu at Heston Blumenthal's Fat Duck, take my mum on a cruise/one of the orient express type trains/to see the lion king in the theatre, as well as save for a house.

With you not being in debt dfw321, you should definitely treat yourself now and then. Relax a little. But I can understand how it can get out of control. It's like my diet. I have one "bad" day, the whole week goes out the window =/ I'm scared I'm going to end up the same size as I was this time last year and undo all my hard work =/ Do you have a "fun" budget? Money for yourself to treat yourself? If so, why not look into increasing it, so you're not as tight with your purse strings as you put it, but still in control of your money?
If you are going to continue to be strict with money, try and find things to save for that will be fun, enrich your life etc. Stuff you've always wanted to do. It's your money now, not creditors. Spend it how you want to. Enjoy it. You can't take it with you =D
And with each goal you could set it into 1% blocks again

Sorry, little bit long.
Didn't mean to put my life story haha