Are siblings destined to fall out?

jokeyjo

on my mums side im in the middle of us 3 girls and we fought like cat and dog when younger now we are older we still have silly fall outs but are always there for each other ,now on my dads side im the eldest and the only one that the others dont fall out with but that could be because of A,the age gap or B , i didnt get to know them until i was nearly 28 but i do think siblings will fall out even if its only silly stuff to fall out over

coolcait

Mimi_Arc_en_ciel wrote: »

I have 2 siblings, I dont particulary see either unless there is an "occassion" (Birth/Death/Wedding etc) even though we live only streets apart. We arent close, We never have been, I know theyb have my back should i need them but we arent "friends" if that makes sense

I've had 2 kids (4 and 2 month) and I'm sat watching them together - The eldest is fussing her sister, reading to her, playing next to her and fussing her little sister and I cant help but wonder whether they will always be this close or are they destined to fall out?

I honestly dont know anyone who is close to their siblings and I would love my girls to be close. Is sibling rivalry natural, or do you think it is something that can be prevented? is it how we are brought up? or just a way of life?

It's a relationship like any other.

It will have its ups and downs. It can drift along, with each party knowing/hoping/expecting that the other(s) will be there if needed.

Or, you can work at it. Make the time to spend time together (as your four year old is demonstrating).

WolfSong2000

I have one sister - two years younger who I could quite happily go with never ever seeing again. I'm mid 20's, she's early 20's, but I cannot remember the last time we got on. My sister is very much like my mother in terms of personality...selfish, manipulative and spiteful, but to a much greater degree and since I was a teenager I made a conscious decision to avoid her as much as possible. When we were kids she'd lie to my parents to get me in trouble, and when she was a teenager she moved on to making spiteful comments (usually ones she'd overheard my mother make to me as she's not that original).

I know it upsets and disappoints my parents that we don't get on, and they cannot seem to get their head around the fact that I do not love my sister - I actively despise her. I have a very short list of people who I really, really do not like, but she is on the list. If someone told me that I would never have to see/deal with her again, I'd be very happy indeed.

Does that make me a bad person? Probably, but I can't be doing wasting my time with spiteful, vindictive and two-faced people. Quite frankly I am embarassed to be related to her. Not saying I don't have my own faults, but she takes the biscuit!

BitterAndTwisted

I have two sisters. One is very close to me in age, we're only 15 months apart and have always been firm friends: we played together and shared the same friends when we were young. She's a wonderful person and I cannot conceive of us falling out over anything, ever. We understand each other well and can have a difference of opinion and discuss any of them openly without any risk of an argument.

Our youngest sister is a very different kettle of fish entirely. Spoilt with an extremely refined sense of entitlement and we know where it came from but that doesn't really help some of the time. Still, we're all on good terms despite some difficulties.

Some sibling rivalry is inevitable imo but that doesn't have to mean that it has to be damaging. After all, children compete with each other for their parent's love and attention and there should be plenty of that to go round, and more.

I find it very strange to hear that there are siblings who live only a few streets away from each other and only see them at christenings/weddings/funerals. You don't have to be in each other's pockets to call round or phone up every now and then, even with people you don't feel a really strong bond with. Those people are blood, after all. It's important to me so I can't understand why it's not to others. Perhaps if I was brought up in a different way in a different kind of family, I could

Mimi_Arc_en_ciel

BitterAndTwisted wrote: »

I find it very strange to hear that there are siblings who live only a few streets away from each other and only see them at christenings/weddings/funerals. You don't have to be in each other's pockets to call round or phone up every now and then, even with people you don't feel a really strong bond with. Those people are blood, after all. It's important to me so I can't understand why it's not to others. Perhaps if I was brought up in a different way in a different kind of family, I could

It is strange but its just how things have happened. My sister was quite happy to have me around when she needed a babysitter but now that her kids are old enough to watch themselves she has no real need to me now lol

My brother doesnt elp matters, he will purposely wind my sister up and cause trouble, often saying i have said xyz when i havent even seen/spoken to him so when i do see him i dont really talk in case he uses it (You would think i was talking about teenagers - but no, they are both late 30's lol)

My sister actually visits my neighbour a lot as they work together so they socialise after work, but she wont think twice of just popping into mine - even if it is just to say hello - was quite hurt to begin with but its just how we are