Are siblings destined to fall out?

podperson

I'm really close with my brother, yes we used to squabble as kids but I think everyone does and I have a lot of fond childhood memories of us doing things together as well. Now we're both adults we get on really well, have a lot of the same interests and even though we don't live in close to each other any more still make the effort to stay in touch.
I know people who are really close with their siblings, people who see them just on special occasions and ones who can't stand each other. I have noticed that those who have sisters complain more about falling out with them when they were younger - I think two girls can make more of a drama out of things

bride2be2012

There are 7 years between me and my sister, I'm the eldest. When we were younger, I used to play games with her, read to her etc. When we was a bit older and I was early teens I used to take her swimming, up town etc. We used to have fallings out, arguments etc. But when she started secondary school, and I uni, we grew apart and do not get on at all now. I really wish we could, but most times I try it gets thrown back in my face.

OH is the youngest of 5 (4 boys, one girl). He is quite close to all his siblings, especially his sister (they are closest in age), and his eldest brother (who is best man at our wedding in May). I've grown quite close to my SIL2B, and given that we have the same age difference that me and my own sister do, I hope that one day when my sister grows up a bit (she's barely out her teens), we will get on better.

nervousftb_3

I have a sister who is 2 years older than me. When we were younger, we were truly vile to each other, especially when we were teenagers. She even used to pretend she didn't know me when we were at school! I desperately wanted us to be closer, but to her I was just the annoying younger sister. However, once we both moved out of home, things changed, and now we are very close. We speak fairly regularly on the phone, and see each other perhaps once a month (we live 1.5hrs drive apart). My mum, who is nearly 60, is very close to both of her sisters too and speaks to them almost every day. I feel sad that we spent so many years tearing strips off each other, but we always knew we loved each other, we just couldn't stand to be in the same room!

ButterflyKisses

My sister and I used to absolutely loathe each other when we were younger, we'd try to push each other down the stairs, she used to bite me hard enough to draw blood and follow me round pinching me etc until I'd belt her. She locked me outside in the pouring rain once when I didn't even have any shoes on and I had to hide in the shed with the spiders *shudder*. I used to get the blame for everything being older, still rankles somewhat!

However, now we are the best of friends and I love her to bits. I'd never have believed it ten years ago that we would actually spend time together out of choice, let alone be close but it's fab and we can laugh about it all now.

FBaby

I grew up as an only child (had a step-sister, but only saw her every other weekends, and there were issues that made our relationship different to full blood siblings) and always wished I had a sibling to share my childhood with. When my DD I felt a strong need to give her a sibling and that is what prompted me to try for a 2nd baby (although I became very broody in the process!). Because they were going to be 3 years apart, I really wanted another daughter as I thought they would be more likely to be close if same sex, but I gave birth to a boy. He was due on her birthday (arrive 3 days late!).

From the moment he was born they bonded and by the time he was a toddler, they were very close, initially in a big sister/little brother relationship, but gradually as equal. Every year since my DD is 10, I imagine she would start distancing herself from her brother, especially after starting secondary school, but they are still very close and enjoy each other's company. They argue occasionally, usually other the TV, but it is not very often and they make up very quickly. They have always had separate bedrooms, but for a long time they begged to sleep in the same room. Even last Christmas, at 12 and 9, they both slept on the floor in the same room. It feels me with great happiness to see them so attached (especially as I separated from their dad).

Of course I can't predict the future, and I'm sure the time will come when my teenage daughter has better things to do then spend time with her brother, but I really hope they will remain close. I am quite optimistic as they have very similar personality and interests.

Gillyx

I have a half brother, and we were always quite close, but through reasons I don't want to get into on here, we lost contact. I haven't seen him in a long time, and not a day goes by where I don't think or worry about him. I really just want to know that he's ok. I don't even know how to go about contacting him, and now I have my own baby, I'd love for them to meet, but I really don't know what his state of mind etc is like, so even if I could get in touch, I'm not sure if I would, and that breaks my heart.

eamon

Interesting topic this. I'm youngest of 4 and sadly our parents died when we were all in our teens (or in my case 12). Over time we have all moved away from "home" and contact became sporadic and remains the case. I put this down to having no focal point to return "home" to and the absence of a crucial centre amongst siblings. However when we do get together its as if we have never been apart.

System

I was never close to my brother. We just never liked eachother much. He used to tell tales to Mom and i used to get the blame being the oldest.

My two eldest children are close in age, 14 months apart and grew up together and played together as children but although they were more like twins when they were young, they couldnt be more distant now if they tried. In fact they have only just added eachother on Facebook after both being members for years.

My two girls were never close either they were always at war with eachother. They arent close now but they are on friendly terms.

Mimi_Arc_en_ciel

Lol I love the comment about not getting involved unless there is blood!

There's time when I wish me and my sister was close (I'm late 20's, shes late 30's) but I've accepted it will never happen and whilst its kinda sad its fine. I do see my brother a fair bit atm as he visits my parents so we often bump into each other but whilst he visits my parents and sister, he wouldn't think to visit me. I think a lot of the problems stem from our childhood and I'm trying to prevent falling Into the same pattern as my parents. I was/am probably still a daddys girl, my brother is a mummys boy and my sister is grandmas darling and Its just caused a lot of aggro. My dd1 thought I was 'cuddling' dd2 a more than I was her - turns out she thought i was cuddling when I was actually feeding lol but silly things like that have upset dd1 until I have explained the difference/purpose. We do have special time together so she doesnt feel left out but I wonder if that's what started the rivalry in our family. I guess I just need to hope they stay close rather than try and 'make' them get along lol bring on the teenage years! :-)

Its nice reading so many of you grew out of the rivalry and are close to your siblings. Ty all for the replies x

Mimi_Arc_en_ciel

Oh gilly I'm sure he thinks about you too - am sorry I haven't been on the baby bit a while but I hope your all ok and will try and drop by soon! Xx