Are siblings destined to fall out?

ruby-roo_2

I have an identical twin sister. As we grew up people expected us to be really close. You could not tell us apart except for our personalities. My dad use to say it was like we were one person cut down the middle and split into two. One of us had the carefree approach, taking everything in our stride, made friends easily, sailed through school, enjoyed good health, had a fun sense of humour etc. The other was the complete opposite. Not said by my dad as a blight on us, just an observation of the facts.

So being like chalk and cheese with next to nothing in common we fought like cat and dog through our childhood and way into our teens. We hardly spoke to or saw each other at all through our 20s. We didn't actually fall out, our lives just took very different paths for a few years, and we didn't bother with each other at all. Which I guess is quite shocking thinking about it now.

We are now in our 30s and are both mums to young kids. Communication between us is almost a daily occurance at present by phone, text, email or fb. On the whole we get on really well and have a good laugh and a joke with or more commonly at each other. That sibling rivalry will never go completely.

She lives the other end of the country from me, and we see each other face to face no more than 3 times a year. Which if I am honest suits me just fine. Despite getting on so much better now, I can still only spend a day or so in her company, before her finickety little ways grit on me and she winds me up :rotfl:

Despite not always getting on or appreciating each other, we both do have almost a sixth sense about each other. I have on several occasions had an awful feeling that things are not right for her and have phoned to find my instincts were bang on. As she has with me too.

andygb

I wonder if siblings (lots of them) from big families get on better, rather than just a couple (who may tend to compete, be constantly jealous), or maybe it is just a result of the upbringing, whether they are treated the same. My missus' family have six siblings, and they have never fallen out in adulthood, and keep in contact on a regular basis.

Ich_2

I can only ever recall having harsh words with my older (by 8yrs) brother and myself. I think the larger age difference never put is in competition.

SingleSue

Me and my brother would fight like cat and dog when we were young and would completely ignore our younger sister who at 6 years younger than me, was just too young for us.

Me and my brother now have a good relationship, yes he has some habits which annoy/frustrate me but then I probably have some that frustrate/annoy him too. We see each other regularly, either at our parents, his house for film or music nights and at my house when he is doing my garden.

Our younger sister we see a handful of times a year as she moved away to be nearer her husband's family but we get along a lot better and keep in contact via phone and facebook, regularly swapping pictures and stories of our children. It appears that the older we get, the smaller the age gap becomes and the memories of our sibling rivalry become diminished...although she is still seen as the baby of the family.

vesper

I think it all depends, my sister and I were incredibly close up until 5years ago, the only reason why we grew more distant is that we now live very different lives and no longer have anything in common at all. She moved away to London in a very well paid job and now socialises with higher class people and that is the way she has become accustomed to. I stayed behind near my home town and have a lowly paid job. I'm not saying that the money has come between us, but I have nothing to talk to her about as she is always off to charity balls and the races and fancy holidays, where as I work for my local sports club and work weekends so don't get much social time especially not for holidays, so there just isn't anything for us to talk about anymore.
I do miss her like crazy though.

nearlyrich

I am second oldest of 6 ( one older brother two younger brothers and two younger sisters) we are spread over 12 years but we are all very close and we have children who are close too. My dad died 20 years ago and my mum died almost 4 years ago and I was concerned we would grow apart but we still have family gatherings and send each other cards on birthdays go out for dinner, call each other for a chat etc etc. We had a very loving upbringing and whilst we had the odd fight we were close as children, we haven't had any major fallings out as adults. My two are close in age and they are good friends too I hope they stay close...

morocha

i have 3 brothers and im kinda in the middle, my eldest brother is 2 years older than me, then jony is 7 years younger and sergio is 14 years younger, the baby brother. Me and the eldest fought a lot when children, my attitude towards jony was different, he was the baby being born when i was 7. I didnt really like sergio, as i was a teen and i had to look after him a lot.
The eldest and me have very different personalities, he doesnt get my jokes and can be quite moody, my younger 2 brothers have the same personality that i have and we have a great time together, i just went back home, i havent seen them in 3 years, and jony is now 20, sergio 13 and me 27 , i love them so much, i do love my moody miguel but he is so different to me that we get in each other's nerves.

pigpen

I have 2 brothers I never see, a sister I see once every year or so.. she lives down south and I don't.. I have 2 brothers I see occasionally and 3 sisters I can never get rid of.. I get on with them all.

OH has 1 sister and he would cut off his right arm if it pleased her and she is a cow to him (last time we saw her she slapped him right across the face really hard because he refused to tell her something personal!! and she never leaves off criticising) I guess they get on in their own way.

My mother is one of 6 and they have always been in each others pockets and know everything about the others lives and are part of them.

My lot.. they are all very very close.. my oldest 2 left home but they are ALWAYS here (or were until DD1 couldn't get here but OH collects her when she asks) I have found 2 or 3 or even 4 of them sleeping in the same bed and they usually play so nicely.. DS3 and DD3 are however doing puberty at the moment and the mood swings and clashes they have are phenomenal.. but they are getting better.. most of it is DS3 and coupled with his puberty he has diabetes and is a complete turd when his blood glucose is high.

2 of my sisters loathed each other as children but since they were about 14 and 18 they got much better and occasionally are seen in public together!

stiltwalker

I think some of it depends on situation. My Oh and his brother had to become friends as teens due to a move and have remained on good terms since however during the years they were in very different life places they didn't see much of each other or speak on the phone. Since oh and I have been together and had kids they speak so much more often and we see them relatively regularly despite living 250 miles apart. With me and my little bruv, I love him dearly (although get on less well with his DW) but he lives the other end of the country and I see him maybe twice a year for about 3 hours. I'm so busy with the kids (DD had disabilities) and with OH and uni work and community volunteer stuff etc etc and he work and does up the house and looks after the kids and we just don't get round to speaking much. I miss this but I do know that if I needed him he would be there for me and visa versa.

*Redhead*

I'm the eldest of 3 girls, and i dont think we've ever argued or fallen out. Obviously there was the odd squabble over whose turn it was to play with something, or who was going in the bathroom first , but apart from that, we've never said a bad word to each other.

Now i'm mid twenties, and they're mid/late teens, and we're all incredibly close. We text/call on a daily basis, and see each other 2/3 times a week, and i love it.

I spoil them both to death, and they never take anything for granted. I would go to hell and back for them.

I have 2 children now, DD age 5 and DS 1 month and i'd love for them to have the same closeness as what we've all had.