Giving up pets because of pregnancy

pawsies

Fosterdog wrote: »

So what happens when the same people who got rid of the dog for a baby go on to have a second child, what if the children don't get on? Maybe child 1 will be jealous. It would be much safer to just get rid of child one for it's own good in case they don't get on. After all a second child is a huge commitment that the first child might not be able to cope with.

If you take on responsibility for another life animal or child then that is a commitment for life not until it's more convenient to get rid.

A responsible owner will take everything into consideration before even taking on an animal, whether that's future children, further animals, potential job changes and make sure the dog is trained and socialised enough to cope with all eventualities. Therefore there would be no need to rehome them if the situation changes.

Of course there may be extreme situations that change things, complete loss of job with no potential for another, homelessness, death of owner or family member making impossible for another family member to cope, serious illness etc but 99% of animals dumped or handed to rescues are not for these genuine reasons.

That's a bit finicky. Humans are totally different- children can talk to each other, learn to express feelings. Dogs can too BUT children don't usually understand/pick up on it hence the number of dog attacks.

What about children who have dogs? Get the family dog when they move out? Be responsible enough to take the dog on and give it a great life and then several years later decide on a child?
Yes, you should try and make it work between dog and child but ultimately if your dog/you is stressed out by the situation then why force someone to keep their dog?

Mupette

I got Perry the pup when ds was 13, i wanted to get a dog for years but timing wasn't right for me to give the dog a lot of attention.

when ds and i moved of course the dog came with us, wouldn't be another way.

We now have Perry 4 and 2 cats Gizmo 4 and Georgie 1 in April, i and love them all, i couldn't get rid of any of them, the love me in their own way, they trust me, they are happy and content, i couldn't take that away from them for them to be dumped in a dog/cat home unwanted and unloved.

Mine are very much loved and wanted.. even if some of the presents the cats bring in are still alive.

Fosterdog

pawsies wrote: »

I never said they were. However pregnancies aren't always planned, I'm not saying people SHOULD get rid of their animals, I'm saying if they can't cope with animal+baby then they should have the right to give one up (which will probably be dog).

You aren't even thinking from the dog's perspective. What about dogs that can't cope with new noises? Sensitive dogs? Dogs that don't like kids?

Is it fair to condemn them to a child you brought into this world as it's not right to give the dog up?

It's that attitude that annoys me. You can look down your nose at people for giving dogs up but that doesn't make you a better person. It makes you more of an idiot if you ever have to give your dog up.

My dog I know doesn't like kids. Will I give her up when I have kids? No probably not. That doesn't mean I look down on people who do.

Why deprive a dog of a better home with more attention/care than make it 'put up' with a new baby that is very stressful for a dog?

I think you could do with a wake up call, try visiting your local rescue to find out how much better off these dogs are. There aren't enough of these loving homes with more care/attention out there.
By giving up the dog you may be condemning it to the rest of it's life living in a small kennel/run with walks only if/when the volunteers have time. Thats if you can find a rescue that even has space as they are overrun, another option is the pound and after seven days it's bye bye doggy come and meet this nice person with the big needle.

I foster rescue dogs so give up a lot of my time and life to helping these dogs that are "so much better off". It is just as stressful for the dog to be taken from it's home and be left in a kennel or if it's lucky into a foster home where it has to learn how to live with a whole new family with different rules and expectations, before moving on again to another home if it's lucky enough to get adopted

How can you possibly say that this is less stressful than living in a home with a new child where it has the comforts of a secure life where it knows and understands it's owners. The comfort brought by the owner would help the dog to adjust to the child.

You say the owner SHOULD have the right to give the dog up, but the dog SHOULD have the right to stay in it's own home. Why should someone else take on your dog that you have chosen you don't want anymore. Oh and what happens when the second family give up the dog to have a child and again a third family and a fourth, when would you say this stops being acceptable?

As for being idiots if we ever had to give up a dog, not at all, every person here has agreed there are acceptable circumstances for giving up a dog but we are talking specifically about pregnancy and we have all agreed that this is not an acceptable reason, it is typical of todays throw away society.

GracieP

pawsies wrote: »

It's that attitude that annoys me. You can look down your nose at people for giving dogs up but that doesn't make you a better person.

Actually it does. Someone who is considerate to any creature they invite into their family is, in that sense at least, a much better person than someone who's thoughtlessness leads to pain for that creature. Because it is extremely damaging to make a creature whose natural state is as a pack animal a part of your family and then cast it out. The animal doesn't understand why, it's entire place in the world has been shattered, it's security, it's certainty. It's downright cruel, and while there are rare cases where it's unavoidable, in most cases it's just a type of neglect.

jokeyjo

i could never have got rid of my dog when i had my kids he loved them from being babies and would sit watching them i introduced my 2 day old son(oldest) to my friends huge german shephard who sniffed him then curled up next to him and then my youngest son was 2 days when he met my best friends huge black lab who kept getting up to look at him and when he cried came rushing to me and pushing my hand with his nose to tell me he was crying

pawsies

Fosterdog wrote: »

I think you could do with a wake up call, try visiting your local rescue to find out how much better off these dogs are. There aren't enough of these loving homes with more care/attention out there.
By giving up the dog you may be condemning it to the rest of it's life living in a small kennel/run with walks only if/when the volunteers have time. Thats if you can find a rescue that even has space as they are overrun, another option is the pound and after seven days it's bye bye doggy come and meet this nice person with the big needle.

I foster rescue dogs so give up a lot of my time and life to helping these dogs that are "so much better off". It is just as stressful for the dog to be taken from it's home and be left in a kennel or if it's lucky into a foster home where it has to learn how to live with a whole new family with different rules and expectations, before moving on again to another home if it's lucky enough to get adopted

How can you possibly say that this is less stressful than living in a home with a new child where it has the comforts of a secure life where it knows and understands it's owners. The comfort brought by the owner would help the dog to adjust to the child.

You say the owner SHOULD have the right to give the dog up, but the dog SHOULD have the right to stay in it's own home. Why should someone else take on your dog that you have chosen you don't want anymore. Oh and what happens when the second family give up the dog to have a child and again a third family and a fourth, when would you say this stops being acceptable?

As for being idiots if we ever had to give up a dog, not at all, every person here has agreed there are acceptable circumstances for giving up a dog but we are talking specifically about pregnancy and we have all agreed that this is not an acceptable reason, it is typical of todays throw away society.

I was referring more to people who rehome dogs privately, not through rescue. Though I suppose some people must be so desperate and unable to cope with the dog that they feel they have no choice. I can sympathise but I'd rather there were no rescues and people could sort out their own mess.

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

pawsies wrote: »

That's a bit finicky. Humans are totally different- children can talk to each other, learn to express feelings.

Usually something along the lines of 'I HATE you!' "I wish you'd never been born!' and suchlike.

dizziblonde

"Sort out their own mess"... "rather no rescues and rehome privately"... gawd what planet do you live on?!

Know what happens to a LOT of dogs whose owners "sort out their own mess" - they're left walking the streets, utterly terrified, wondering why the hell they've been dumped... they end up in a pound and when their time there's up - they're killed. Unless... one of those evil evil rescues comes along and gets them OUT of the pound before they're out of time.

Wake up and realise - the truth and the reality for dogs whose owners have ditched them in favour of new shiny things isn't this magical new home in the country they bound off to without a second glance - but a kennel in a rescue (if they're lucky) where they're sat there terrified, wondering where the centre of their world has gone and what the heck's going on... or rehomed privately to a "good home" and used as bait dogs for training dog fighting or god knows what else.

And yes, I will ALWAYS judge anyone who ditches an animal because they're pregnant - because however they gloss it over, or sugar coat it to justify it to themselves.... they're acting in a scummy way pure and simple. And I'm speaking as someone who's there at the moment - finding it very physically hard to deal with pregnancy and two dogs and working around the issues and trying to sort them - dealing with things the hard way, rather than taking the coward's way out and dumping the animals I promised to look after... because I couldn't look into their eyes and know I'd even CONSIDERED giving up on them. What kind of a model does that give to the children (insert the pathetic "won't someone think of the childrennnnnn" battle cry of the MSE losing argument here) - chuck a creature with feelings and attachments (gawd one of mine would be utterly devastated if his humans gave him up - the other... possibly for about five minutes till she sussed who was doing dinner that night) away when the going gets tough?!

rising_from_the_ashes

pawsies wrote: »

A baby is a huge commitment that the dog might not even be able to cope with (which is why you should do pregnancy training with dogs).

No more than taking on any animal ....... I've been looking for a dog and am shocked by the amount of 4 - 6 month, 12 - 18 month dogs out there with varying excuses for why they're being rehomed.

People get them without any thought and when they can't cope they just pass them on...

heretolearn wrote: »

If you know that you would get rid of your pet if you got pregnant, and you are in the age group where you could well have children while your pet is alive, you should be responsible and not get that animal in the first place. I think getting shot just because you are pregnant is extremely irresponsible and treating animals like disposable objects

:TWell said.

Fosterdog wrote: »

I think you could do with a wake up call, try visiting your local rescue to find out how much better off these dogs are. There aren't enough of these loving homes with more care/attention out there.

While I agree with many of the later comments you made I do take issue with the above.

Many rescues now have such restrictive criteria against their rehoming policies, it's just about bl**dy impossible for *ordinary* people to get one.

This then leads people to get a pup - even if they would rather have an older dog - and a few months later these are many of the few month old ones I've mentioned above.

Yes, the rescues need to be careful about who rehomes their animals - and what will suit one dog may not suit another - but having blanket bans on vast swathes of the population is not the way forward - and IMHO is fuelling the problem with people having to resort to buying pups, which in turn leads to more dogs ending up in rescues and irresponsible breeding - and so the cycle begins again.

Person_one

rising_from_the_ashes wrote: »

Yes, the rescues need to be careful about who rehomes their animals - and what will suit one dog may not suit another - but having blanket bans on vast swathes of the population is not the way forward - and IMHO is fuelling the problem with people having to resort to buying pups, which in turn leads to more dogs ending up in rescues and irresponsible breeding - and so the cycle begins again.

I think we need to be careful about repeating these stereotypes, because they might well be putting people off approaching rescues as they assume they'll be turned down.

I got two rescue dogs while living alone in a small flat with no outdoor space and while not working full time, out of the home for a good few hours every day.

They don't all have blanket bans, and I don't think its fair at all to blame them for irresponsible breeding.