Giving up pets because of pregnancy

krlyr

Jojo_the_Tightfisted wrote: »

[BTW, to the other poster, I did say vicious dogs, not good natured but a bit dim. ]

Maybe mine aren't great examples of "vicious" dogs, but I know several owners of dogs with aggression issues that certainly aren't caused by them being "crap" owners - often it's a case of them having taken on a dog that's been mistreated, mistrained, unsocialised as a puppy, etc. Even dogs with the best socialisation and training can develop issues after a dog attack, a bad experience at the vets, a breakin to the house when they're home alone, etc. Or health conditions can cause an otherwise fine dog to suddenly become aggressive - my last dog was good with kids until her hip dysplasia became quite severe and we then ensured she was kept seperate from any visiting children just to be on the safe side as she did start to snap at people when in pain. Crap owner, or just a sign that a dog isn't a virtual pet - we cannot predict that their behaviour will remain stable throughout their whole life, regardless of how good an owner we are.

heretolearn_2

If you know that you would get rid of your pet if you got pregnant, and you are in the age group where you could well have children while your pet is alive, you should be responsible and not get that animal in the first place. I think getting shot just because you are pregnant is extremely irresponsible and treating animals like disposable objects.

If there turned out to be a problem with animal/baby, that's unavoidable and of course the baby comes first.

When I got pregnant I was shocked to find that many people just made the assumption that I'd be getting rid of my two cats. I didn't.

dizziblonde

I guess I was brought up to believe you don't give up on family members - fleshy or furry. My dogs are 4 and 8... I hope they'll be around for a long time to come, my cat is, at a guess about 13 (but you'd never guess it from looking at her - she looks about 7-8 years old if that - I think she's the duracell kitty that will just keep on going forever). I knew when I took them on that we'd have them in our lives for that length of time - and there's no way they deserve to be dumped or abandoned as our interests move on.

And I'm speaking as someone who's having such health problems with pregnancy that I'm on crutches for the next 3 months, in pain when I walk - so would be fairly "entitled" to be considering throwing in the towel really - but nope, we're working around it, hubby's doing a lot more walkies, I'm doing ones I can, if we need to we'll add in a dog walker and I know enough of the local dog owners around here that if I was really really stuck, they'd take them out for me with their own dogs - because they do that for other people who are struggling... I couldn't live with myself if I ditched my friends, who saw me through all the crap we had trying to concieve and going through miscarriages, who spent night after night with me sobbing putting their heads in my lap trying to make me feel better - what kind of a person and a parent would that make me be to chuck them away?

They're sentient beings !!!!!! - not disposable commodities!

But yes, there's a huge scummy chunk of society who thinks it's perfectly acceptable to have them as substitute babies and then chuck them the second a real one comes along - and I have very very little time for them.

bacardi66

I really can't understand how people can give up their pets because of having babies but Ive heard about it so many times. Things must have been different when I was born in the late 60s - my parents bought a kitten at the same time I was born so we could grow up together! My mum used to say how much easier the cat was to look after than me

Many of my friends have had babies and have never considered giving up their cats and dogs, the kids grow up with a respect and love for the animals. The cat we grew up with used to lash out if we mistreated him - that taught us a valuable lesson! And obviously my friends who have had dogs and small babies keep an eye on them and don't leave the dog alone with the baby no matter how well behaved the dog is.

Ive had cats for years now and always consider them in everything I do, from where to live (away from busy roads) and holidays - even if I had the money I wouldn't leave them for long periods of time. I think pets are part of your family and should be treated as such, they are not a disposable commodity. I had no idea when I got my kittens that 18 years later I would still have one of them! I think people look at puppies/kittens and don't fully realise what a commitment it is - I just feel so sorry for all those poor pets who are left homeless through no fault of their own.

purple.sarah

pawsies wrote: »

I think it's perfectly acceptable to rehome an animal when you're commitments are elsewhere.

It's far better to rehome the animal to a loving home where it gets what it wants than to 'put up' with a new addition.

Everyone also has different coping levels, it's not right to judge someone on this. I hate this attitude rescues have that everyone who hands in a dog is a bad person, it's not usually true.

A baby is a huge commitment that the dog might not even be able to cope with (which is why you should do pregnancy training with dogs).

If someone can't handle the lifelong commitment of looking after a pet then they're not ready for children. People need to consider this commitment when they get a pet and think that sometime in the next 15 years or so (for a cat or dog for example) they might have a child and how they would handle that. Also rescues are completely overwhelmed, it's sadly not the case that unwanted pets always find a loving new home where their needs can be met, so let's not pretend.

hayleyc_2

pawsies wrote: »

I think it's perfectly acceptable to rehome an animal when you're commitments are elsewhere.

It's far better to rehome the animal to a loving home where it gets what it wants than to 'put up' with a new addition.

I wouldn't dispute this if people have really thought about it and realised they can no longer look after the dog long-term. The thing that annoys me is the idea that as soon as you're pregnant you can't possibly keep your pets! Also, when people think a baby shouldn't be around dog/cat hairs, or that dogs will always knock toddlers over etc. With a bit of common sense and effort you can get through the difficult times with the use of stair gates, etc to keep dog and child safe. To me it seems it's too easy an excuse for people to use when they just can't be bothered with the pet anymore.

Hayley

GracieP

Does anyone else watch Coronation Street? The story toward the end of last year where Chesney put Schmeichel to sleep when he was ill and it was the kind thing to do. Which would have been a sad but reasonable story. But throughout the whole story everyone kept telling him that he had to put his soon to be born baby first, with his girlfriend screeching 'you love that dog more than this baby' and her dad telling him that 'boys have dogs, men have babies.'

It was a really !!!!!!? story and really irresponsible, imo. Mixing a story about having to put a sick dog to sleep out of kindness with a 'your girlfriend's pregnant - man up and kill the bloody dog you selfish child,' theme. It was weird.

Gem_

My dog is a complete nightmare of separation anxiety (which I suppose shows I am at fault as a terrible owner). All I get when I ask for help is 'you should send him back to the rescue'.

It's horrible, he is another family member! It's not like they would suggest the same solution for my baby (although during some toddler tantrums I do feel briefly tempted to re home the him)

Gem

Fosterdog

Gem_ wrote: »

My dog is a complete nightmare of separation anxiety (which I suppose shows I am at fault as a terrible owner). All I get when I ask for help is 'you should send him back to the rescue'.

This doesn't make you a terrible owner, this makes you a kindhearted person who has adopted a rescue dog who happens to have some issues. Just think how rewarding it will be as you see him progress.

Out of interest how old is your child and how long have you had the dog? It would make a nice change to find someone who is willing to work on issues and has stuck to the commitment made to the dog even though a child has come along.

pawsies

Person_one wrote: »

The fact that dogs live for 10-15 years is not a secret, don't get one if you don't intend to commit that length of time.

Your attitude is exactly the kind we're all complaining about! A dog isn't a car, or a gym membership, or a nice pair of shoes that you can just casually get rid of when they don't fit your lifestyle anymore!

I never said they were. However pregnancies aren't always planned, I'm not saying people SHOULD get rid of their animals, I'm saying if they can't cope with animal+baby then they should have the right to give one up (which will probably be dog).

You aren't even thinking from the dog's perspective. What about dogs that can't cope with new noises? Sensitive dogs? Dogs that don't like kids?

Is it fair to condemn them to a child you brought into this world as it's not right to give the dog up?

It's that attitude that annoys me. You can look down your nose at people for giving dogs up but that doesn't make you a better person. It makes you more of an idiot if you ever have to give your dog up.

My dog I know doesn't like kids. Will I give her up when I have kids? No probably not. That doesn't mean I look down on people who do.

Why deprive a dog of a better home with more attention/care than make it 'put up' with a new baby that is very stressful for a dog?