14 yo son totally blanking me - What now ?

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

hermanmunster wrote: »

I would be concerned that in taking away the laser pen you had possibly treated him as a very young child. he is 14 and able to discuss and understand the risks of such an item. If you just took it off me I would be cross too and even more cross if you took other things off me too. You would have to work quite hard to get my respect back.

Better to be treated like a child than the criminal he would have been treated like had he shone it at a police helicopter or aeroplane.

http://www.chesterchronicle.co.uk/chester-news/local-chester-news/2010/01/20/new-laser-pen-law-from-civil-aviation-authority-could-see-convictions-soar-59067-25644722/

balletshoes

cjj wrote: »

Hi
I dont think the opening post quite told the story.

To explain better the punishments were not much to do with the minor incident at all and fully to do with the absolute lack of respect he has for me (how he speaks to me).
This is not the 1st time by any means. I have in the past always talked to him and apologised if I was in the wrong but have never had an apology back. Even when I appologise he still holds things against me for a while. I do know I am a good Mum and dont deserve this kind of treatment. x

so he's had all his gadgets taken away now? how do you think this is going to be resolved, you have no bargaining power left have you? When will he get his gadgets back?

I do agree with earlier posters, ignore the ignoring, speak to him as you always have, if he doesn't answer, fine, you're not stooping to his level and giving him even more of an excuse to think himself justified in his sulk.

Noonar

OP I think most parents of teenagers have been in your position - go with your gut feeling - you sound like you won't go far wrong! Unlike some other posters I believe at 14 they are still children, not nearly adults, they need to realise their actions have consequences - his was you taking his gadgets away. Perhaps try and make it clear to him what action on his part will get his gadgets back.

Noo

PS Cannot see any reason why a 14 year old would need a lazer pen!

Ich_2

my son has always been about lazer pens as like someone else we use them as cat toys

Yes but when hand-held pointers that are strong enough to do this: -
http://www.avmed.in/2012/02/there-is-laser-in-my-eye/
can be bought off the internet or over the counter in a number of European holiday destinations there is serious cause for concern!

I'm sure that the families that use them for cat toys buy low powered ones, but the one in question was given to the OP's son by some friends how does anyone know it is not an unsafe high power one!

Armchair23

My sympathy goes out to you. Yup I'm quite sure there are things you could have done differently ten years ago, but it's too late now.

The one thing that thwarted my difficult teens was relentless cheerfulness, they really hated it. Don't agonise over what you've done you made a choice and you'll all live with the outcome.
When you get back on speaking terms I really agree with various posters be REALLY CLEAR AND SPECIFIC about what you will and wont do. Use words that cant be seen in 'two ways' .
I agree that not having a spouse who helps is really difficult. But if you're doing this on your own you may as well just get on with it.

I think 'leave it alone and see what happens' might seem frustrating but give it a go.

Absolutely the worst thing (only from personal experience) is to keep on nagging. Stay away from the argument and see what develops.

Teens eh, the good news is most of them grow up to be lovely people. X