can't pay off a debt, affecting relationship

Chelsea_Boy_2

angeldeelite wrote:

But he has just accused me of being stupid, brainless, a total idiot. That i'm incapable of handling my money (he can't even get credit cos he stuck his head in the sand years ago instead of paying his debt!!!!):(

:mad:

You could always put the dent back in his car, It won't get you the £600 back he owes you but you will sure feel a lot better for doing it!

MinnieSpender

I'm mostly in agreement with LA on this one, and I won't comment on the relationship because, as LA said, you know him and we don't.

What I would say, though, is that you can't change him, you can only change the way you react to the situation. It sounds as if you have an idea of the problems that debt can get you into in the long term. The fact is that long term it's your own situation you have to consider. Six years down the line you may or may not still be with your partner. If you get into trouble with paying back loans, your credit rating will still be affected in six years' time and that will definitely be with you.

If you want to say "no" then say it and tell him that the discussion is now closed. If he throws his toys out of the pram, step over them. He may well just accept your decision once he realises you ain't budging and find a new and DFW friendly-way of raising the cash himself.

Best of luck.

Uniscots97

Hi Angel, I know you won't get this until after your job interview so hope it went well. Let us know how you are.

angeldeelite

aw thanks for thinking of me. the interview went well, nice and informal.

partner came home last night and the first thing he did was cuddle me and tell me he loved me. i had been ready for battle!! he apologised and i've managed to sort out a payment plan with the bank so he can pay back the money. DD is coming out of his account.

thanks again for all your support, hopefully i wont need your advice on this again but will keep it all in mind. And no more borrowing for me!

:T

TangledMemories_2

hey

I've just boiled my eyeballs by reading this entire thread!
I'm glad things have calmed down now for you.

Me and my partner argue about money alot more than we argue about anything else. I think seeing my parents struggle for the past 15 years has done me no good.