can't pay off a debt, affecting relationship

angeldeelite

i have a graduate overdraft with lloyds tsb which expired in January. I took out a loan to pay it off, but the week before it was due to expire my boyfriend wanted work done on the car to fix a massive dent, which would cost £600. It had to be cash, so i said i would take it out the overdraft if he could pay it back asap, which he said he could.

Now something has happened which means he doesn't have the money and i'm stuck with this debt again. I applied to egg but they declined me so i had a mini freak out and me and my partner had a massive argument.

he is insisting i should just up the loan and he'll just give me the money over the next few months. But i really don't want to do that. For a start i called loan company and they will give me a minimum of 1K extra, which i don't need. This will mean my monthly repayment goes up by £35 which i can't afford. He said i could just keep the extra 500 in my account to help pay it but i know it'll end up getting frittered away.

I said lets just pay £250 each right now, even it means leaving us skint for a month, then he can pay me back next month. That means it would be over in 2 months rather than 3 years. But he has just accused me of being stupid, brainless, a total idiot. That i'm incapable of handling my money (he can't even get credit cos he stuck his head in the sand years ago instead of paying his debt!!!!) and that i'm ruining our relationship by not doing this his way and topping up the loan.

i honestly feel like i'm being bullied into doing it his way, and by refusing he accuses me of not listening to him. he layed into me the other night about shouting and at him and demanding he sort it in our first argument, so i apologised and said it would never happen again but now he is shouting and demanding i up the loan.

i've spent 2 days on the phone to banks trying to get the cash from somewhere but no luck. tsb are happy to help me with a payment plan but the interest is still around 18%. I'm at my wits end and really believe this could be the end of our relationship and we really really do not agree on how to sort this, so what hope is there for the future?

Does anybody have any advice? should i just top up the loan? my brain is just completely fried

lauren_1

Yeah ebay this guys things to get your money back.

misspoppy

I think you've made the right decision I don't understand why you needed to pay for the dent and he did promise to pay you back. You shouldn't take on debt for anyone else especially if they behave like this. I'm sorry if this is harsh but he doesn't sound very nice

Sea78

I would say pay it back. I took out credit all in my name as OH couldn't get credit - £38000 later and in big trouble!

See if you can Ebay some stuff or sell some stuff so you have enough to live off and then put all you can into paying it off. Don't get any more money for your bf and don't let my bully you. If worse thing happened, you won't get your money back off him but don't let yourself get more in debt because of yhim.

Seaxx

Seaxwyn

Hi angel, poor you, what a miserable situation

I definitely don't think you should up your loan. If this is affecting your relationship already just think how you will feel as you struggle with those payments month after month.

As for whether there is a future to your relationship, that is for you to decide. Does he have good qualities that make up for his rubbish attitude to money? And are you prepared to have constant disagreements about this very touchy subject?

ByeByeDebt_2

I'm with the ebay idea!:T Maybe harsh comment as well, but this doesn't bode well for future money conversations...

Bestthingsinlifearefree

If he cannot pay you back the £600.

Could he not do some extra work to earn the money to pay you back or sell the car ?

Tustastic

So....this man has had £600 from you and it doesn't look like you are going to get it back.
I'd say it is worth £600 to find out that he is not the honest trustworthy partner you deserve.

helen_caslass

find out when he can pay you back and charge him interest on it from when he borrowed it... my ex borrowed a bit here and a bit there soon mounted up then i had to call it a day on the relationship (too controlling) ended up in more debt on top of what i already had... never saw the money again small price to pay for being shot of him.... only you can decide whether you want to be with him but consider selling stuff on ebay to make some money back

SparkyMark

angeldeelite wrote:

he can't even get credit cos he stuck his head in the sand years ago instead of paying his debt!!!!

Then he shouldn't have a right to tell you what you should be doing with money. Then again, that's my opinion which could be wrong..

I said lets just pay £250 each right now, even it means leaving us skint for a month, then he can pay me back next month. That means it would be over in 2 months rather than 3 years.

Keep trying to force this outcome, one bad month would be nothing compared to 3 years with a debt on your back!

Skint_Catt

DO NOT GET INTO MORE DEBT FOR ANYONE!!!

That includes yourself - but def not him!

Sorry, lecture over!!

Catt xx