can't pay off a debt, affecting relationship

angeldeelite

thanks everyone.

everytime i say 'right i'm just going to pay 250 when i get paid, so can you' he calls me stupid and an idiot as it will leaves us really skint.

he is extremely stubborn that way. It's not an issue of him not paying, as he is going to pay but he would rather pay it off in installments than paying as much he can when he can. and the only way he can do that is for me to take more credit. i'm happy to get him an egg card for 500 quid that's interest free but they refused me for some reason.

dancingfairy

Don't do anything you don't want to do. You are right about not wanting to take on debt and why should you. Stick to you guns and explain that it's your money and you should decide. If he's worth it he'll understand and if not you've found out before he can do any more damage. Good Luck with it all - it's a tough situation.

Sea78

angeldeelite wrote:

he is extremely stubborn that way. It's not an issue of him not paying, as he is going to pay but he would rather pay it off in installments than paying as much he can when he can. and the only way he can do that is for me to take more credit. i'm happy to get him an egg card for 500 quid that's interest free but they refused me for some reason.

Please please please don't get him credit in your name. Please, I am still with my OH and all credit is in my name, as I mentioned earlier. His limit will be upped and you will have the debt. If he can't deal with finances don't give him ANY credit in order to pay yourself back.

Bambywamby

When in a financial predictament, spending £600 on a dent in a car is never a wise idea. However it's too late to say "no" to him now however he owes you the money and should pay you in the manner to which you are the most comfortable. S*D his opinion...he isn't the one getting walloped with interest.

However from what you have said he sounds quite vile (sorry but thats my opinion) and I would dump him and take him to small claims court.

Good luck gal...don't take no !!!!!!. X x X

ZTD

angeldeelite wrote:

I said lets just pay £250 each right now, even it means leaving us skint for a month, then he can pay me back next month. That means it would be over in 2 months rather than 3 years. But he has just accused me of being stupid, brainless, a total idiot. That i'm incapable of handling my money (he can't even get credit cos he stuck his head in the sand years ago instead of paying his debt!!!!) and that i'm ruining our relationship by not doing this his way and topping up the loan.

So you've lent him £600 quid, and he called you "stupid, brainless, a total idiot".

angeldeelite wrote:

i honestly feel like i'm being bullied into doing it his way, and by refusing he accuses me of not listening to him. he layed into me the other night about shouting and at him and demanding he sort it in our first argument, so i apologised and said it would never happen again but now he is shouting and demanding i up the loan.

So you are in a relationship with a bully - is that right?

angeldeelite wrote:

i've spent 2 days on the phone to banks trying to get the cash from somewhere but no luck. tsb are happy to help me with a payment plan but the interest is still around 18%. I'm at my wits end and really believe this could be the end of our relationship and we really really do not agree on how to sort this, so what hope is there for the future?

Not much. First he needs to apologise. You've lent him some money. Now you've found out why no one else will lend him money - because he doesn't pay it back. And he's a bully on top of it.

angeldeelite wrote:

Does anybody have any advice? should i just top up the loan? my brain is just completely fried

Don't top up the loan. You may have lost the £600. Lend him no more money. Make sure he has no access to your money.

If he doesn't apologise, then you've found his true colours. Find yourself someone better. Shame it cost £600.

angeldeelite

he's never been like this before.

i've helped him out loads. he can't even get a bank account, so i opened a simple current account so he can get his wages and student loan money paid in.

we currently live together in rented accommodation, if we ever want a mortgage its got to be in my name because of his previous debt and he understands all this.

i've told him i think it's bullying and even though i snapped on sunday, he has now resorted to name calling, which is something i have never done. I'm thinking about just moving back to my dad's, maybe then he'll realise not to take me for granted.

ZTD

angeldeelite wrote:

he's never been like this before.

Is this the first time you haven't done what you were told?

betti911

I think you should move back to your dad's for a while. I'd give myself a bit of time to think about what this guy is putting you through.

I know you must love him but sometimes love blinds you. Maybe if you have a bit of time apart you'll be able to (both) think about things.

Skint_Catt

Personally (and I know it's easy to say!) but get your stuff and go. At least you're free. Don't put up with bullying. Think of yourself - as you get older you realise that no-one else will.

Catt xx

CLAPTON

when you say you opened an account for him, do you mean in his name or yours?