What benefits is she entitled too?

emsywoo123

shell_542 wrote: »

And what did he say he was bitter about? Not about having to pay £50 a week towards his child's upkeep ... which is in fact more that he would be asked to pay through the CSA. It is that the mother is then expecting over and above that amount.

If you were complaining he was begrudging paying extras, I would agree. But he isn't. He's paying what he is asked to and slightly more and funnily enough, would probably like to choose how to spend the rest of his money on his child rather than having it dictated to him by his ex.

I think the issue (for me) is that he (OP) seems so interested and bothered by the income his ex is getting, what she is entitled to etc.

As I pointed out earlier on this thread, that is none of his business.

Soapn

shell_542 wrote: »

You have no idea if the OP has restricted his access to 1 night a week or if in fact he has had his contact limited to 1 night by the mother. How you can make such judgement with so little facts is beyond me.

I take it you are a NRP? with a bit of a chip?

marie-20

If she wasn't working she wouldn't only e getting £50 from dad, she would also be getting the £20 p/w cb & £50 (ish) p/w CTC. I hardly think that a child takes £120 p/w to feed, clothe and extras - if that's the case we need £360 p/w for our 3 + money for us after all mum would still have to pay some rent (not much less around here for a 1 bed flat compared to a 3 bed house both through HA - I think our rent is £4.50 more than my in-laws!) and gas and electric etc.

I think that dad is being more than fair and maybe mum needs to look at her expenditure a bit more closely and see where she can cut back.

We always contributed 50% towards school trips on top of the maintenance for my stepson however I refused to do so for his uniform as we were paying her £50 p/w 8 years ago and he was only earning £200 and we had 1 child at that time and she didn't work.

shell_542

Soapn wrote: »

I take it you are a NRP? with a bit of a chip?

You take it wrong.

shell_542

emsywoo123 wrote: »

I think the issue (for me) is that he (OP) seems so interested and bothered by the income his ex is getting, what she is entitled to etc.

As I pointed out earlier on this thread, that is none of his business.

It appears to be very easy (on both sides) to become too concerned with your ex's income and lifestyle following a split. I don't have any qualms with the OP being told to forget about his ex's income (unless of course he was genuinely worried that she was struggling to provide for them both and wanted to help).

my niggle is the instant accusation that an NRP doesn't want to provide for their child because they dispute how much financial contribution a mother is expecting. Sometime's us women can be unreasonable too

Soapn

Well at the end of the day, his kid will know her father was prepared to contribute £50 a week (which isn't a small sum).

I'm sure she will appreciate the fact her father DID pay, because plenty don't. THAT is what matters.

Her mother is hardly raking it in, she's working and not sitting back demanding IS. Everyone will just have to agree to disagree and the mother will have to accept he is making an effort.

emsywoo123

shell_542 wrote: »

It appears to be very easy (on both sides) to become too concerned with your ex's income and lifestyle following a split. I don't have any qualms with the OP being told to forget about his ex's income (unless of course he was genuinely worried that she was struggling to provide for them both and wanted to help).

my niggle is the instant accusation that an NRP doesn't want to provide for their child because they dispute how much financial contribution a mother is expecting. Sometime's us women can be unreasonable too

Partner of an NRP?

Perhaps it is just the way the OP has approached the situation-if he had come on here and said "I pay over the CSA recommendation but she still wants more" I think he would have gained far more sympathy TBH.

emsywoo123

Soapn wrote: »

Well at the end of the day, his kid will know her father was prepared to contribute £50 a week (which isn't a small sum).

I'm sure she will appreciate the fact her father DID pay, because plenty don't. THAT is what matters.

Her mother is hardly raking it in, she's working and not sitting back demanding IS. Everyone will just have to agree to disagree and the mother will have to accept he is making an effort.

I hear you girlfriend *whoops*

We must stop this now, and return to sworn enemies.

Farewell. I shall remember this time fondly.

cosmic-dust

Soapn wrote: »

If she wasn't working, or getting tax credits, she WOULD only have the £50 a week though to feed, clothe and bring up her child.

£50 a week isn't a rubbish contribution (let's face it, people pay far less, or nowt at all), but it's a bit begrudged by the sounds of it.

What a load of dramatic twaddle.

samwich1979

Some weeks i have only £50 to look after 2 adults and a 10 month old baby, so for 1 adult and an older child i think that much is quite sufficient.
As others have said also she wont have just the £50, she has her own money too.
Fathers who dont have their child living with them have their own bills to pay at home as well as the mother so its not like he will have a mass of disposable income.