Work/life dilemma - what would you do?

DylanO

pukkamum wrote: »

I never once said she didn't love him and reported for what exactly? For expressing my opinion? Sorry but i wasn't under the impression that that wasn't allowed!

Obviously you are spoiling for a fight, but you won't get one with me.

Your post was an attack with the clear subtext being that she doesn't love her children because she "can't bear to be with them".

Rule number one: be nice to all moneysavers.

pukkamum

DylanO wrote: »

Obviously you are spoiling for a fight, but you won't get one with me.

Your post was an attack with the clear subtext being that she doesn't love her children because she "can't bear to be with them".

Rule number one: be nice to all moneysavers.

DylanO as you can see i am a long time member of this site and am well aware of the rules, this does not mean i cannot give my opinion, i am not spoiling for a fight i am standing by my opinion.

I reiterate i never once suggested that she did not love her son, i said i found it hard that anyone could not want to be with their children during the most formative years of their life and that i hoped she considers this if thinking of having anymore.

DylanO

pukkamum wrote: »

DylanO as you can see i am a long time member of this site and am well aware of the rules, this does not mean i cannot give my opinion, i am not spoiling for a fight i am standing by my opinion.

I reiterate i never once suggested that she did not love her son, i said i found it hard that anyone could not want to be with their children during the most formative years of their life and that i hoped she considers this if thinking of having anymore.

You said quite a bit more than that. While trying to justify your diatribe you selectively quoted her post while conveniently leaving out the words directly before and after it, which render your horrid attack null and void.

pukkamum

DylanO wrote: »

You said quite a bit more than that. While trying to justify your diatribe you selectively quoted her post while conveniently leaving out the words directly before and after it, which render your horrid attack null and void.

Oh DylanO who is spoiling for a fight?
I merely chose the points in her post i wished to express an opinion on, the post was very big and could obviously be read by anyone so i did not feel the need to quote it all.
Yes i did say more i asked whether she had considered the fact that she would feel this way before she had her son and i hoped she would think before having more.

onlyroz

I know plenty of teachers (including both of my parents) and they ALL loathe, despise and detest it. They all say that the teaching itself is fine (great even, if you get into a good school with enthusiastic kids). But the rest of the job (preparation, marking, admin, admin and then some more admin) really really really gets you down.

You also have to remember that your child won't be a baby forever - so while for the moment you would be happier with part-time, this might not necessarily be the case in a few years time.

As I see it, some practical options could be:

- Stick with your current job for another few years and then move to a better full-time job
- Go with this opportunity for a new part-time job, keeping in mind that you could move to full-time in a few years
- Look for a better full-time job now, and consider your partner going part-time or flexitime.

Spendless

pinkshoes wrote: »

My preferred option would be to move to a cheaper location, AND take the new job, but that's not practical unfortunately! My OH just wants me to be happy,and he knows how badly my work have treated me, so he'll go along with whatever I want!

What about taking the new job and just seeing where that leads you. If you discover you hate new job then you could look at moving away to your preferred area. If you decide to move away and put yourself in a position where you're unable to take the new job then you'll never know where it may have led.

pukkamum

onlyroz wrote: »

Oh My Word :eek:
There are plenty of people (myself included) who have no desire to be a SAHM - this doesn't mean we don't love our children, and it does not make us bad parents.

I am well aware that there are many people who have no desire to be SAHM's, i am questioning why?
What is so bad about giving your child 4 years to be raised and nutured by the people who love him most in the world, you brought the child into the world and i really do not think that given a choice anyone can say that a child would not rather be at home with mum or dad and that this is the best place for them.

I am well aware that in many circumstances there is no choice but for both parents to work, but i find the concept bizarre that many parents find fulfilling their own needs career wise more important than a childs needs.

southoftheriver

Perhaps because a parent who is happy and fulfilled in the best way for them may have more to offer their child than one who does something because of pressure.

It is hardly as though pinkshoes neglects her child, it sounds like she gets the best of both worlds which I understand is rare for working parents. A chance to keep her neurons firing and maintain her enthusiasm for a role she enjoys, and spend the majority of time nurturing her son.

You're not just asking a question out of curiosity, you're passing judgment on the way the OP choses to raise her child. Not the point of this thread I feel.

onlyroz

pukkamum wrote: »

I am well aware that there are many people who have no desire to be SAHM's, i am questioning why?

I thought this was the 21st century? I thought we had long left the era where a woman was expected to be at home ironing her husband's shirts and having the dinner on the table ready for when the kids return from school and when husband comes in from work. I am sorry, but I am so much more than that, and I hope that my daughter will aspire to be more as well.

Give my child 4 years, you say? Name me one professional career that would let me take a 4-year break without penalty? If you cannot think of any (and I can't) then what you are saying is that women should not worry their pretty little heads with career aspirations, and should get back into the kitchen where she belongs.

duchy

DylanO wrote: »

It's not as awful as your sanctimonious attack on that mother's love for her children. You have been reported.

Good job ! If you hadn't I would have done. She's posted the same sort of stuff on other threads too-obviously on some kind of crusade. Sad these people who can't see anything beyond their own narrow little world and are so unsupportive of others.