overwhelmed new member

Coco114

:j
It so does !!!!
Also, I had allowed £80 for my big stock up shop ..... but remembered last night I have a £5 off Tesco voucher so, going to do £40 shop today, get another £5 voucher and do another £40 shop tomorrow - dont know why I didnt think of that before - what an idiot :rotfl:
One concern thats weighing heavily on me is the Token Payments - its going to take me about 120 years to pay off my debts - so I thought, if I give myself 2 months to really crack this budgeting thing - I will then be able to start work on the highest interest debt - even if its only an extra £10 a month, because the thought of being in debt for the rest of my life makes me feel a little bit sick (well, actually a lot sick !!)
So, what I have decided is anything I have left at the end of April - half will go to a debt and half to a rainy day fund. I know it should all go to debt but at the moment I have absolutely nothing to fall back on - just a small cushion for an "emergency". Once I have this I will feel a lot happier I think
Anyway, now I have got my head around being totally responsible for all expenses relating to kids - anything extra Ex gives me, will now be a bonus. Its hard, and a little bit unfair, but thats the way it has to be !
Off to do first part of my shop ..... catch you all later - enjoy the sunshine.
Coco x

Coco114

Omg loving the sun !!!! It's glorious here
Joined love film ( saves trips to the shop , late fines etc) via Greasy Palm & earnt some cash back - I now have a grand total of £17.50
Got my Tesco £5 off voucher for 2nd part of shop & Ex gave me an unexpected £20 towards football boots (Blimey and I didn't have to ask!) so that's an "extra" £47.50 this weekend !!!!
Need to sit down & pay the bills now which reminds me I have a question .... Safest way to make token payments ? Is sending a cheque ok ? Until I have set up a separate bills acct I don't want to give any debtors my bank details & yes I realise my acct details are on a cheque but they can't do anything with that can they ?
Coco x

mellonicoley

Hi Coco

Just wanted to say congrats on taking the first steps towards being debt free!

I really think you should contact CCCS or Payplan about your debts as they might be able to advise on whether token payments is the right path for you.

Also, re recycling mobiles. I've used Mazuma Mobile in the past a few times and have never had any issues with them. I also think you get slightly more cash than you get with O2 Recycle. Check them out

HTH
Mel

Coco114

Thanks for that - yes CCCS or Debtplan will be the next step I think. Have a few days off over Easter so was planning on contacting someone then , it's a bit scary though !
Funnily enough I was looking at Mazuma Mobile today , basically I just need to get my backside into gear
It's only Monday and I am shattered already !
Got to be honest though , these debts are really starting to worry me - I just can't see any way out of it at the moment
Anyway , thanks again will def speak to someone when I am off and try to work out what to do for the best.
Coco x

thechippy

Hi,

Just noticed this thread. keep your chin up - you'll be ok...:beer:

Does your home have equity?
Can you list the debts accurately, ie;

Lender
Date taken out
Type of debt (cc / loan etc)
Outstanding balance
...and so on..

Coco114

Hi there
No , sadly negative equity at the moment because of secured loan.
I will have to list all borrowings anyway because I guess CCCS or whoever will need all this.
Good days , bad days I guess !
Thanks
Coco x

Mr_Toad

I've been reading this thread while on a conference call. I have to say I think you're marvelous and I'm sure you'll succeed.

A couple of observations.

You mention that you're due a phone upgrade. Why not keep the one you have and go onto a cheaper SIM only contract.

I have an iPhone but only pay £15 pm SIM only. It's not the latest phone I've had it 4 years but it works and I'm not paying £35 like my friends with the iPhone 4.

You're being too kind to the ex!

He's taking the p*** coming round and getting fed!

You need to show the same determination with him as you are with everything else.

It's easy to tell yourself you're doing what you're doing for the sake of the children but it's not working for you, it is for him. He gives you £20 for football boots and you're ever so grateful. Tell him to keep the £20 and take his son/daughter to get the boots and pay for them in full.

Yes he needs to see his children but he also need to contribute more to their keep.

Open all that mail, sort it all into order then next time he comes round give it to him and tell him half the debt is his and he needs to pay half the bills and that you'll be writing to everyone and giving them his address and phone number so he can share what you are going through.

While we're talking about phones. You don't have to answer it when it rings and get the answerphone turned off. If they can't speak to you or leave a message they will write. Having them nagging you constantly isn't helping you.

I only have a land line for the BB I don't have a phone plugged in to it. I use my free mobile minutes for outgoing calls and everyone important to me knows to call my mobile or text me.

My girlfriend was in a similar position and I eventually persuaded her to take proper advice, it transformed her life.

Keep up the good work, you will sort it out.

Coco114

Thanks Masonn
I know , I am very aware that I am being taken for a mug but it's a difficult situation sometimes. I have always upheld the view that i be "decent & friendly" in front of the kids , they have been through enough but, I also know that, to a certain extent, ex is still trying to control everything .... It's tough.
But , I am too afraid that if I open my mouth & say what I think - it won't be nice & I won't stop !!! I know I need to grow a pair , I am getting there but it's slow process.
Will def think about phone & going Sim only - I think I just sometimes begrudge all the going without & cutting back ( tho it's a good thing) it just feels like I am crippling myself for someone else to benefit at the end.
Sorry to whine, I am sure I will feel more positive tomorrow.
Btw , it must have been a dull conference call if you ended up reading my ramblings !!!
Coco x
PS - just so you know - boots were only £26 so I put the rest in my money pot .... That made me feel much better

Mr_Toad

Coco114 wrote: »

Thanks Masonn
I know , I am very aware that I am being taken for a mug but it's a difficult situation sometimes. I have always upheld the view that i be "decent & friendly" in front of the kids , they have been through enough but, I also know that, to a certain extent, ex is still trying to control everything .... It's tough.
But , I am too afraid that if I open my mouth & say what I think - it won't be nice & I won't stop !!! I know I need to grow a pair , I am getting there but it's slow process.
Will def think about phone & going Sim only - I think I just sometimes begrudge all the going without & cutting back ( tho it's a good thing) it just feels like I am crippling myself for someone else to benefit at the end.
Sorry to whine, I am sure I will feel more positive tomorrow.
Btw , it must have been a dull conference call if you ended up reading my ramblings !!!
Coco x
PS - just so you know - boots were only £26 so I put the rest in my money pot .... That made me feel much better

You're not a mug and you're not whining you are being manipulated and made to think that if you don't go along with how things are the children will suffer. You can still be nice, decent and friendly without getting walked all over. And don't let him provoke you into losing your cool as that's a form of control too.

Next time he visits tell him in advance that you won't be cooking and that it would be a nice treat for the children if when he came over he treated you all to a takeaway, you included, and see how he handles that. Or when he gets there and it's time to eat just say in a nice and friendly way that you've cooked the last X number of meals and you think it's his turn to provided the meal.

Don't think of it as cutting back, think of it as a lifestyle change where you get to keep your money rather than handing it over to people who need it less than you do.

We are a society that is obsessed with consumer goods and having the latest and people get into debt to maintain the life they think they should be living.

Chin up

Coco114

Thanks again
Have taken afew deep breaths now !!!
Have decided am getting bored of thinking about that side of the situation - it takes up way too much of my time and energy that would be better spent concentrating on debts & budgeting so that's what I am going to do.
Hope you all have a great day & enjoy the sunshine while it lasts.
It's Wednesday already ! Using envelop system feels like pay day is once a week now , rather than once a month if that makes sense ? Hopefully should make life a little easier if I can stick to it
Coco x