Family Issues - Getting Married Tomorrow :o(

lostinrates

Essmore. Your situation sounds rather simialr to the one dh and i were in when we got married. I recieved an email from my step mil on the morning of our wedding telling me not to do it and there was public discussion aout it, though thankfully no names were emtnioned atpnd it was fairly impersonal to all but us.

I did waver and want to delay and dh said we would talk about it after we were married. He pointed out, had the email come after the wedding he would have been putting his wife first so why should things be different because of a few hours. I was also unwell.

You and oh must now forge a life together where you put your needs as a couple and each others first in your lives. Family must learn the new order of things. My advice would be to go ahead with your witnesses and put it at the back of your minds. Write to your family syaing you would like to put it all behind you, that you are very confident in your decison and you love them and can you meet for a celebratory meal. Then see what happens.

Have a wonderful wedding, we did it the same way and it was really romantic, we held hands all day long and didn't have to dance with relatives we barely know.

Hanging_by_a_thread

You dont have to contact them by phone. Why not write a letter. Take your time over it and get across all you want them to know. That way you will have put all your cards on the table and how they proceed from there is up to them. The written word removes the possibility for them to be arguing or interrupting and not fully registering what you are saying.

tea_lover

I hope you both have a lovely day, and that your OH's health problems are now fully in the past.

FWIW, I'd just focus on each other and enjoy the time together. When you get back you could maybe think about making contact with your mum, but I really wouldn't worry about it for now. Maybe invite her and your sister round for a meal or a quick cuppa when you're back home.

VitaK

I would call before the weeding myself, I would hope to clear some air, I would point out that you love her unconditional and will marry her tomorrow. I would keep in the back of my mind that sometimes people do the wrong things for the right reasons.

Have a wonderfull weeding.

Brighton_belle

I wouldn't call before the wedding as the current problem isn't about the actual wedding (as I understand it) and you don't want to spoil a very special day for yourselves by stirring up more unhappiness for yourself.

Slinky

I would say there's more chance of stirring up bad things than building bridges by talking to her before your wedding. Try and put it out of your mind and enjoy your wedding day, I wish you both much happiness.

Lara44

You could post them some photos of the wedding and use that as an opportunity to get back in touch (if you wanted to?)

victory

I hope you have the most fantastic wedding day tomorrow, as for your mum and sister are you sad they will not be there? Does it mean more to you than a hope of an apology? Do you want to build bridges for always not just for tomorrow the wedding day?

thorsoak

My reaction to your post is to say that tomorrow is the day for you and your bride - and you two alone. You'd already agreed that - so leave things are they are.

As for your mum and sister? What has happened has happened in the past. Let it stay there. You and your bride are making a new life together - leave the old life in the past.

Maybe write to your mum and sister once you are married, telling them this, and hoping that they might like to join you and your wife for a meal to celebrate your wedding, new life - and new start with them.

If they don't respond, or respond negatively - then you'll have nothing to reproach yourself with - if they do respond, then its new beginnings all round.

With all best wishes for your wedding tomorrow, and your future happiness together x

pmlindyloo

Can I just put a very slightly different slant on this?

Do you think that your Mum and sister haven't contacted you because they weren't invited to the wedding and feel hurt?

Putting aside all the past problems then arranging a wedding for just the two of you plus witnesses would be enough to annoy some people!

I got married abroad and although we had a church blessing when we got home to which everyone was invited my family were 'miffed' to say the least (and I was 35 years old!)

There's nowt so strange as folk!

This is about you and your OH. You made the decision to keep it small and informal so just go ahead and get married and worry about everything else afterwards.