Dog help please.....before I lose my family :-(

lovesabargain123

Yes DH does clean up the dog poo yet I clean up from the bin and chewed clothing and teddies etc

Emmzi

"About 18mths ago I told DH I had had enough, I'm sick of being a prisoner in my home and I wanted to leave. He persuaded me to stay and promised to get some training for them. Yet here we are again I can't move freely found my home,"

You have taught your OH that your threats are empty and you'll be a doormat. Also you are teaching your kids to be subservient to the wishes of the man and the kid.

Go and stay with a friend for a couple of weeks while he thinks it over.

helenut

Sounds like an utterly ridiculous situation! The dogs are not well behaved and it should have never gotten this far. If he cannot keep control of the dogs then either you will have to or you will have to get rid.
The dogs see themselves higher than you and its something that needs you, your husband and the dogs to work on together. If you really cannot imagine yourself working one-on-one with these dogs then they cannot live in your house! It is unfair for everyone (including the dogs) and if he honestly cannot see how detrimental it is then he sounds a bit mean.
Like the TV program "it's me or the dog" - if he really cannot understand then you will have to walk away. It is an unsafe environment for you and your children and it should have never got this far. It needs action ASAP.

dizziblonde

Mrs_Arcanum wrote: »

Get in touch with a dog whisperer. They will teach YOU how to manage the dogs, rather than the dogs managing you.

Don't get in touch with anyone calling themselves something so ridiculous, anyone who mentions shock collars or starts wittering on about pack theory.

Some of the stuff's easy enough to work on - you can get kitchen bins that lock which minimises the bin raiding - they're not totally dog-proof, mine CAN crack it when he puts his mind to it, but if they're just knocking them over and then having a good snuffle - it stops that factor. Simplehuman do them and Argos stock them - but you may have to order online to get it into the store and collect.

The dogs though are going to be bored and manic if you've got two springers (not the least bonkers type of dog) locked in a couple of rooms all day... you can get a lot of puzzle-type toys to occupy their minds (and wear them out a bit) online, and hopefully calm them down a bit. Baby gates (if they jump them you can get taller dog gates) to limit them in and out of areas you don't want them in and stop them hurtling through the house like loonies - also cuts down on what they can steal as well!

Sounds like a good training class or dog trainer would be a good plan as well - mentally it'll wear them out a bit and bring them under more control - even just having a few basic commands. Classes aren't always hideously expensive either - think we used to pay something like £7 a week per-dog for ours - I would take one dog and hubby would take the other - I know you're not a natural dog-person but to be honest you probably need to do some of the "fun" stuff with the dogs as well so both sides of you stop seeing each other as the baddie of the piece!

If they're door-scratching - might be worth doing what we've had to do in the past (one of ours has separation anxiety which we've had to do a lot of work to minimise) and putting perspex panels over the doors to protect them from the onslaught of claws - it stopped it in the short term we needed to work on the problem.

I wouldn't fret on the growling - if you think about it, all a growl is is an "oi give that a rest I don't like it" - I'd rather a dog growled and gave a good warning they were getting wound up than not really - but people get really hung up on the fact that "OMG IT GROWLED IT MUST BE AGGRESSIVE!!!"

HelenYorkshire

Wow, I think it's very unfair to "inflict" two dogs on you in this situation

Couple of questions you might like to consider:

Do you want to work on your own fear/dislike of dogs?
Do you want to bond with these two?
Or do you want them gone?

I'm not asking this to be nasty, but there's no point recommending behaviourists and training if you're not ready to face your fears And if this is the case, you need to let your family know exactly how hard it's impacting you. Is there anything your OH fears/dislikes? You could phrase it as "Imagine if I left you all day with a pair of foot-long tarantulas that hassled the postman and got in my way around the house!!"

If you decide you're ready, you'll need to commit and it will be hard work. You need to get to a point where both dogs respect you. NOT "fear", and not necessarily even "like" You will need your family's help too.
I saw a recent It's Me or the Dog USA (Victoria Stilwell) where the elderly mother of the house was left alone with her daughter's little dog all day. They trained the dog things such as staying out of the kitchen, and eventually fetching things (like a TV remote) to make her useful around the house. The mother ended up very impressed with her well-behaved "new" companion. So it can be done.

Exercise is all well and good, but what about mental stimulation? I'm about to try clicker training as my collie can't do her normal sheep work at the minute. I think if you were to work on training then this is a way to get the dogs' respect.

This is taken from https://www.dogpages.org.uk

Before enrolling your dog in a training class, its worthwhile going to watch beforehand to make sure you are happy with it all.

1) Are the trainers using kind methods? Methods such as smacking, hanging on the lead etc aren't acceptable-there are much kinder, yet still as effective methods.

2) Do the dogs look happy? Some classes are very large, the first class I went to had 20 dogs at anyone time. Needless to say the dogs seemed to learn very little and the trainer was unable to help one to one if needed. The dogs (and owners) seemed stressed, and this affected their learning.

There are some Associations now where trainers have to be at a certain level of training before being accepted as a member. By being a member, they need to abide by a certain code of conduct which gives you something to go by if you aren't happy with the way your dog is being treated. That said, there are some excellent trainers who do not belong to any Associations, though if you come across a bad one, you have no-one to report this too. If you are having difficulty finding a dog trainer, ask vets; pet shops; and other dog owners.

The field of pet behaviour is similar in that there are a few Associations though many behaviourists operate on vet referral only (to ensure the dog is clear of any health problems that is causing the behaviour change). Therefore vets are often a good place to start when wanting to find a reputable behaviourist.

Association of Pet Dog Trainers has a list by county of trainers and details of types of classes, whether they do homevisits etc.

UK Registry of Canine Behaviourists

Association of Pet Behaviour Counsellors

Lastly - PLEASE don't try shortcuts such as anti-bark collars, or "dominance" techniques a la Cesar Milan - they will only add stress and fear to the situation.

Good luck, whatever you decide

Mrs_Arcanum

dizziblonde wrote: »

Don't get in touch with anyone calling themselves something so ridiculous, anyone who mentions shock collars or starts wittering on about pack theory.

Some of the stuff's easy enough to work on - you can get kitchen bins that lock which minimises the bin raiding - they're not totally dog-proof, mine CAN crack it when he puts his mind to it, but if they're just knocking them over and then having a good snuffle - it stops that factor. Simplehuman do them and Argos stock them - but you may have to order online to get it into the store and collect.

The dogs though are going to be bored and manic if you've got two springers (not the least bonkers type of dog) locked in a couple of rooms all day... you can get a lot of puzzle-type toys to occupy their minds (and wear them out a bit) online, and hopefully calm them down a bit. Baby gates (if they jump them you can get taller dog gates) to limit them in and out of areas you don't want them in and stop them hurtling through the house like loonies - also cuts down on what they can steal as well!

Sounds like a good training class or dog trainer would be a good plan as well - mentally it'll wear them out a bit and bring them under more control - even just having a few basic commands. Classes aren't always hideously expensive either - think we used to pay something like £7 a week per-dog for ours - I would take one dog and hubby would take the other - I know you're not a natural dog-person but to be honest you probably need to do some of the "fun" stuff with the dogs as well so both sides of you stop seeing each other as the baddie of the piece!

If they're door-scratching - might be worth doing what we've had to do in the past (one of ours has separation anxiety which we've had to do a lot of work to minimise) and putting perspex panels over the doors to protect them from the onslaught of claws - it stopped it in the short term we needed to work on the problem.

I wouldn't fret on the growling - if you think about it, all a growl is is an "oi give that a rest I don't like it" - I'd rather a dog growled and gave a good warning they were getting wound up than not really - but people get really hung up on the fact that "OMG IT GROWLED IT MUST BE AGGRESSIVE!!!"

A friend used one. No nasty shock collars or anything similar. Just basic sensible control via rewards/positive reinforcement. Point being my friend needed training as much as the dog. And as the OP clearly is not happy around dogs this would seem a better solution.

Emmzi

PS huge numbers of people on this forum are pro-dog, to the extent that they are more pro-dog than pro-people

Don't let anyone guilt you, and do what is right for you!!

londonsurrey

Even if you don't want to keep the dogs, the dog behavioural classes sound an excellent idea. Your issues sound quite deep, so starting with one-to-one, whether it's a whisperer or suchlike might be a good idea.

I treat dogs and cats a bit like three year old children in that I don't expect them to do the dishes, but I do expect a minimum standard of good behaviour - I'm top dog (translates to "Listen to Mummy" for children), don't destroy the house, and I don't expect you to love each other, but I do expect you to not kill each other.

The same thing applies, just almost with a "language" adjustment. If you can control a three year old, then given the "dog language" translations, you should be able to control a dog. Confidence, backup from people who know how, and practice should see you right. Be more aware of your vocal tones and body language.

Even if you don't keep the dogs, this knowledge should help you stand up for yourself against people too.

Sally_A

I'm not a dog expert, but without even trying you have put yourself to the bottom of the pack.

Start by being in charge of feeding, this will give you kudos and move you back up the ladder.

Keep a few treats about your person (not too many, you don't want fat dogs), so that they can sniff them out, or learn to expect a treat from you when you come home. Don't just hand them out willynilly, make them sit, paw, rollover etc.

As for the barky boy, it seems no-one else is taking leadership of the household, so he is being overly noisy and probably nervous. He would probably love it if you or OH took charge of the household, so he wouldn't have to stress so much, and would probably not then do the occasional poop on the floor. Which probably translates with him perceiving he has too much responsibility for your whole household.

Ignore growly teeth, just barge through with a "look" - dogs can read facial expressions - also bear in mind that spaniels are predominatly soft mouthed game fetchers, not biter/fighters.

The above, are very simplistic first steps, which is the best I can do from afar without seeing you and the dogs in person.

Dogs are pack animals they will defend their pack to the death, but they really need a stable pecking order.

I hope you can grow to love them both.

trolleyrun

I agree with others that the dogs need to be trained. Your OH obviously isn't interested in training them, so it'll have to be a professional that does it.

Springers are very active dogs and need plenty of mental stimulation as well. Just like kids, bored = naughty.

I think it's completely inconsiderate and downright rude of your OH to get these dogs when he knows how frightened you are of them. He needs a reality check.

Can you close the door to the kitchen overnight to avoid the bin raiding?

The dogs need to learn the meaning of NO, which by now will take time and effort, but it's not impossible.

I wish you the best of luck and hope you find a solution.