cemetary, council and removal of personal obejcts from grave.

lostinrates

Person_one wrote: »

Its wonderful that you have figured out the best ways for to mourn and remember, but its just not anybody's place to tell people that their way is wrong or worse.

I'm not a big fan of graves actually, I don't want one myself when the time comes, I don't want anyone to feel obliged to tend it or guilty for not doing. However, what my family want after I'm gone is more important in the long run, the rituals of death are really all for the sake of the living.

But sometimes thes objects do impose on pther people's grief and mourning...,that is the point ultimately. Who cares what people walking past or through think? Does that make those who find them hard to stomach when they are mouring, is their way of grief wrong?

Humphrey10

mumps wrote: »

If a teddy or a plastic rose makes someone happier then I will vote for their right to have what they like.

The problem, for some people, is that it is sometimes not just a teddy or a plastic rose. It's a big pile of brightly coloured noisy tacky tat, a horrible eyesore visible from a long way away.

Welshwoofs

Person_one wrote: »

I'm curious to know why my rants are rants and your rants aren't rants!

But I'm not ranting. I'm simply saying that the most logical solution to having one group of people who want to personalise graves and another group of people who want graveyards to be peaceful....is to have graveyards which cater to both separately.

Anyone who remembers the old thread knows how you made yourself look in it, so there's no point arguing about it anymore I suppose.

Honestly I'm not bothered how I'm perceived. There will always be people who read more into posts than is there and really indulge in a good bout of hysterics as a result. If they do that then I'm quite likely to wind them up just to see if they explode in a cloud of indignation.

A lot of the people with differing ideas about grave decoration already have loved ones buried near each other, who do we dig up and move? People need to figure out a way to deal with it as it is.

If the person is already buried then everyone has to go by the rules of the graveyard. If the rules are that no decoration is allowed then thems the rules. If the rules define what is allowed and what not, then those should be adhered to.

Space. We're already running out of burial space as it is, so it would be pretty hard to figure out a way to keep the decorated graves sufficiently far from the non decorated graves.

Well IMO if lack of space is a problem, then it'd make sense not to bury people at all, but to cremate them and have far smaller plots. As it is, I believe some churches move the remains after x-years to a communal vault anyway, hence why you sometimes see gravestones piled up against side walls in older cemetaries.

Taste. Who is the arbiter of when a grave crosses the line from tasteful to tacky? One plastic windmill put there by a child on a summer day? One bunch of flowers that happens to have a few plastic ornaments scattered in? Laminated cards or prayer sheets? Objects relating to the person's religion? Who gets the job of taste police?

It doesn't matter whose definition of taste it is, the regulations could be defined along the lines of "No ornaments of x, y and z construction material. All ornaments must be secured. Grave decorations should stay within x-height and y-width of grave site. Ornaments should not produce sound or artificial light etc" in some graveyards and in others much laxer, so "Ornaments shall remain within x-height and y-width of plot, should be firmly secured. Ornaments judged to pose a health and safety risk will be removed" type of thing.

Welshwoofs

Humphrey10 wrote: »

The problem, for some people, is that it is sometimes not just a teddy or a plastic rose. It's a big pile of brightly coloured noisy tacky tat, a horrible eyesore visible from a long way away.

Exhibit A




Now in all fairness, if the grave next to that was a simple one that the relatives went to in order to contemplate quietly, that riot of colour would be pretty jarring. However if ALL the graves in the cemetary were like the above then nobody would be distracted/offended/upset by it.

lostinrates

Welshwoofs wrote: »

Exhibit A




Now in all fairness, if the grave next to that was a simple one that the relatives went to in order to contemplate quietly, that riot of colour would be pretty jarring. However if ALL the graves in the cemetary were like the above then nobody would be distracted/offended/upset by it.

That surely is more that one grave, there seem ore than one little fence pictured?

Humphrey10

Wow. And not in a good way.

Welshwoofs

lostinrates wrote: »

That surely is more that one grave, there seem ore than one little fence pictured?

Not sure. I couldn't work out how many it was for to be honest. I think I see 2 plots....but it's very hard to make out. That photo was in a national newspaper that was reporting on one council who'd cracked down on such displays last year.

meritaten

It offends my eye - it doesnt offend anything else - that person was well loved obviously!
In other cultures it would be seen as normal. here in the west death is NOT treated with bright colours and fun.
and the more I think about that - the less it offends me - why shouldnt death be accompanied by colour and fun? Does it have to be all black and restraint? many funeral services now are more celebrations of peoples lives - why are graveyards getting more restrained than they were during Victorian times?

Person_one

I prefer it to this:

atrixblue.-MFR-. wrote: »

everyones. a childs grave !!!!!!
they actually kocked over the headstone as seen in the top left of pic. and the stcking of the recycling boxes there there was ornaments in the bottom one that are now broken.

Welshwoofs

Person_one wrote: »

I prefer it to this:

Well as has been said (a number of times), if the council didn't give the notice outlined in its regulations then the relatives have solid grounds for complaint.

I personally don't understand why they removed topsoil, unless perhaps those particular graves had ornimental chippings on and those were against regulation? It'd certainly be something I'd query if I were one of the plot owners.