It's ALL going wrong...

Rochdale_Guy

Hi, thanks for the post.

Angry_Bear wrote: »

/Essay warning/
A couple of areas you may be able to cut back on in your SOA (not as far as CCCS are concerned, but for your own money management):

• Phone/internet: £52 – seems pretty high, have you shopped around?

I know that seems high, £17 for my monthly broadband. £24.50 for B.T. landline and calls, plus £10 a month on PAYG mobile.

I tried to switch to Post Office line rental (which gives free calls to mobiles at weekends and much cheaper daytime calls), but they totally messed my order up and never accepted me as a customer, and they never answered any of my complaint emails and letters

Angry_Bear wrote: »

][*]Contents insurance seems a little high – mine was about £20 for the whole year using cash back sites.

That is a brilliant price. Will consider that come next January.

Angry_Bear wrote: »

[*]As everyone has said, car costs are very high. Again I’d suggest a moped or something to keep your freedom but cut costs, but I accept that your car means a lot to you. Is there anything you can do about insurance – cash back, shop around etc? How much of the £100 fuel is essential journeys and how much do you have control over?

I was paying around £1k a year for insurance, shocking isn't it
I only got it down to £750 this year as a co-worker let me out them down as a named driver. Which is a big help. Don't know what I'll do next year at renewal time when I don't work in this current job and with her

The £100 a month on fuel is personal, taking people to apointments etc etc. Can't cut back on that, sorry.

Angry_Bear wrote: »

[*]You said earlier you have a 2 bed place – what about a lodger?

It's a rented Council flat, I am not allowed to take in a lodger, it's against the tenancy agreement.

[*]With a bit of checking on the O/S board you could probably reduce your food to £25 a week and save about £30.

Fair point, but I am already thin as a stick after living off Smart Price Baked Beans on toast for 6 months.

Angry_Bear wrote: »

Don’t forget …. at 10 weeks pay for redundancy, you have 10 weeks covered (with possibly smaller fuel costs) – and that’s AFTER whatever notice period you get. You’ve got a fair bit of time to look all out for another job.

Yes thanks. I know I have a lot of time. I just as bad as it sounds, want to get my redundancy notice NOW, no more being mentally tormented and delayed.

Angry_Bear wrote: »

Have you looked at the “up your income” board - survey sites etc could give you a little extra and take the pressure off. Ebay, amazon and all the usual suspects as well of course.

I will do thanks. I have seen things I also have go for lots of money on eBay, but when I list them, they just don't sell! I even practically copy the wording off an item that has sold for a lot of money. I think eBay, the National Lottery and scratchcards aren't meant for me - I never make anything back

Angry_Bear wrote: »

Have you considered a second job at something like a supermarket or pub. You have a car – have you looked into deliveries at local take-aways? These usually have pretty good hours to add them to an existing job (I did this for years myself).

I think I will have to now, thanks.

Angry_Bear wrote: »

P.S. I still think you should speak to your doctor. If you are suffering from depression you will be the last one capable of “noticing”. You seem so defeatist (or maybe “defeated” is better), and I don’t think that’s just down to your situation. There’s a lot of “situation” here that you have no control over it, but unless you can find the drive to take the proverbial bull by the horns and deal with things as they are, you won’t be able to fight your way up and out. Just my 0.02.

I appreciate people saying that but I just don't see how pills or tablets can help. I'll still wake up each day and I will still be losing my job, still owe £26,000 and still want to keep my car....

But cheers for the suggestions, concern and help :beer:

Rochdale_Guy

eyeopener2 wrote: »

Taking the bull by the horns means selling the car, using that money to pay down debt (£2k) and then increasing the CCCS payment by over £200 a month. What freedom does the car really give you when your imprisoned by debt? You can get a car when your free.

My car is everything to me. I am 42 and was a very late learner having passed in only 2007. It is my first car, and probably my only car. It's the biggest thing I have ever purchased, and probably ever will. It *IS* freedom when the sh*t hits the fan. I can jump in and drive off somewhere for peace and solitude, wherever I want, whenever I want. I just can't afford to though. Would you believe me if I said I would be more depressed and miserable imprisoned by my debt and imprisoned by not having the car? Then I am truly trapped

eyeopener2 wrote: »

You could possibly break the £20k barrier by this time next year if you do that. There is no other way out of this, with or without redundancy, and as you see the balances dropping this will help your stress and well being.

I wish you the best but you need to start considering the nuclear option of bankruptcy as a viable option as well. I don't know your age but do you really want to be feeling the same way in 20 years time?

Good luck.

E2

Thank you for making your post, I appreciate you doing so.

:beer:

Rochdale_Guy

euronorris wrote: »

Mate, you really should. They can refer you to someone to talk to, and I think that would really help you right now.

I know how upsetting this situation can be, and how overwhelming it can seem. I found myself in tears daily at one point, but you can turn it all around. So...please...speak to your GP.

Okay, if someobody cares to explain what possible course of action my GP will take then?

I'm not going to get hooked on anti-depressants. As for talking to someone other than online and "on here", unless they are prepared to lend me £26k interest free, I don't see how they can help (apart from thinking I am totally nucking futs....)

Thanks though :beer:

Rochdale_Guy

You're welcome.


Nope, I earn just over £16k a year, too much to get any kind of working tax credits or other help, but bot enough to survive on with my income:debt ratio.

I hadn't missed a payment on any debt before the DMP.

The interest rates and minimum payments alone on the MBNA Visa card were £300 a month and rising. I had pay my rent on other credit cards and my food. It just got to a point I couldn't do it. Not that having a decent credit rating matters anymore now it's shot to pieces

Thank you for the rest of your advice, I will re-read it later and let it sink in.

:beer:

I do appreciate people's comments you know :A

XXSCOTSLASSXX wrote: »

Many thanks for clarifying income/expenditure... apologies i had wrongly assumed being 10 years in employment ur income would have been higher hence the confusion re amount left over.. u have said tho prior to entering ur DMP that u had never missed a payment on any debt, how would this have been possible given ur soa??

With regards to the impending redundancy in all honesty, am not 100% sure this is really gonna be a bad thing... hear me out!! lol given the negativity regarding ur outlook on ur current employer even without the impending redundancy it does give u option to look for new employment maybe outwith ur current field, maybe with the opportunity for overtime etc, to be honest even without the redundancy staying in ur current job isnt really a viable option, the situation as it stands at the moment with u still receiving full pay really isnt working.

I know u have said previously there are very little jobs in ur field personally i would apply for anything and everything, sometimes a positive attitude and willingness/keenness to learn new skills etc is a clincher for employers, also ask ur current employer for a glowing reference given ur 10 years of loyalty and commitment is the least they can do. I would say in order to 'sell yourself' as such to any new potential employer you would need to be in a far more positive frame of mind (sorry) a trip to the docs may not be a bad idea just to help in the short term. Please try not to see the impending redundancy as the end of the world and more like an opportunity to change ur situation completely and for the better x

Rochdale_Guy

Thank you Growurown.

You hit the nail on the head. I also do know other people owe lot's of money, are facing redundancy and much worse, I genuinely feel sorry for them, but unless this happens to you, then all you can do is think about yourself. It comsumes you 24/7 and gets worse as each day dawns....

This is my dilemma, my situation, my life going down the tubes faster than I can stop it, and it is scary, depressing and it hurts

Thank you for at least seeing it through my eyes :A

Growurown wrote: »

Hey RG - I think you have every right to be down and annoyed about this state of affairs. This really sucks, and yes I know it is happening to lots of people but that doesn't really make anyone feel any better does it? I've got until March next year and then I am out of a job too. I don't have any more suggestions for you, I think you have had plenty of them, but you have my every sympathy for your situation and two fingers up to Rochdale Council.

eyeopener2

Thing is, and this may sound harsh, but what is your plan? We could go round in circles for days, months even years here but you need to do something about this situation.

You need to put a plan in place.

I was given a stark choice of paying the debt back and stop drinking or lose my wife, child and house so I did that. I have sacrificed everything that I didn't need to do that. All I do is work, eat, sleep and stay in. Now I see the light at the end of the tunnel and I will be debt free.

If your plan need to start with a visit to the Doctors then you go.
If you have to sell the bl***** car, then you sell it.
If you need to go bankrupt then do it.

You are in your forties and this debt will still be here when your 65 if you carry on like this. Unless, of course, it is taken out of your hands and legal action starts, which is a possibility.

I know what your going through, i've been there (told to leave my home, my wife, my child and sleeping at my mothers) but I did what I had to do.

So why not ring National Debtline, get an appointment with a debt advisor and see what your options are? That way you can start formulating a plan because your current situation cannot continue - with or without redundancy.

http://www.nationaldebtline.co.uk/

heartbreak_star

Rochdale_Guy wrote: »

Okay, if someobody cares to explain what possible course of action my GP will take then?

I'm not going to get hooked on anti-depressants. As for talking to someone other than online and "on here", unless they are prepared to lend me £26k interest free, I don't see how they can help (apart from thinking I am totally nucking futs....)

Thanks though :beer:

You don't get hooked on antidepressants! Not physically! RG, I'm getting exasperated now. I believe you are depressed - as anyone would be in your situation. We are trying to help you find ways to deal with the situation - DEAL WITH, not insta-cure. Antidepressants and counselling etc will help you CALM DOWN and BE RATIONAL, which is what you're not being at the moment. (Neither am I, but that's because I'm irritated. I'd be the world's worst counsellor!!)

Personally I want to give you a shake, tell you to listen to everyone on here, and then give you a big hug because it's an awful situation to be in.

As Martin said, no money problem cannot be solved.

I think you did the wrong thing in essentially lying to CCCS about your actual financial situation, because it's putting you in a worse situation and should be considering bankruptcy. It can be a fresh start. Either that, or ask CCCS to make token payments to your creditors until you are working again. This is NOT unsolvable, and you'll have more to live on if you fess up to them.

I also wonder if you could consider a bike or moped for your escapes to peace and solitude? I too was a late learner (passed same year you did! :j) and when I didn't have a car for a while I felt lost! But the feeling does wear off, I learnt where I could escape to with buses, and I got another car when I knew I could afford it.

Look through some of the Debt Free Diaries for people who have owed as much as you and been through similar bad situations.

I do wish you well, no matter how much of a meanie I seem.

HBS x

euronorris

Rochdale_Guy wrote: »

Okay, if someobody cares to explain what possible course of action my GP will take then?

I'm not going to get hooked on anti-depressants. As for talking to someone other than online and "on here", unless they are prepared to lend me £26k interest free, I don't see how they can help (apart from thinking I am totally nucking futs....)

Thanks though :beer:

Your GP will refer you to a counsellor for therapy, he/she may suggest tablets too, but as I said you don't have to take them if you don't want to. Among other things he/she can also take your blood pressure, to ensure it isn't too high thanks to the stress of your current situation.

A therapist helps by talking through the issues that are bothering you (anything and everything), asking you how you are dealing with them and how that makes you feel, discussing the possible solutions with you - and how you feel about those. Sometimes we don't take certain actions because of a fear of what *might* happen, or because we've simply tried so many other options already we've lost hope and faith in ever finding a solution, so we kinda give up. They can help us change our attitude, and our viewpoint on things, which gives us the strength to take daunting, but necessary steps. I wish I could give you more detail about it, but it's very individual, so you won't ever really know unless you try.

Mine helped me to see how illogical some of my decisions were. She also helped to regain my voice, and my confidence, and start doing things for myself again - instead of always forfeiting my own needs for other people.

She helped me talk through my fears about what might happen if I did confront an issue or a person about something, and made me realise that the outcome wouldn't be as bad as I thought, and that I could handle it. That I was worthy of feeling happy, and that things would never be as bad as I had built them up to be in my head.

It won't cost anything, but it could help you massively, so what have you really got to lose? If you have a couple of sessions and you don't think it's helpful, then you just stop going. You won't have lost anything but your time.

Are you sure that your reluctance isn't more about your perceived stigma of going to therapy? My OH had the same attitude as you, but having finally reached breaking point, he admitted it was more about the stigma and feeling like the GP or the therapist would tell him he was being silly and needed to 'man up' or something. Which, by the way, they didn't do - of course - and never would.

As for the food budget - it is often possible to cut down the cost, but actually up your intake of nutritious, home cooked meals (you won't be getting much from beans and toast).

One of the forum members developed this site, have you checked it out yet: http://www.cheap-family-recipes.org.uk/

Are you cooking any meals from scratch? Or relying on packaged stuff?

Oh, and just because you may need to sell your car now, doesn't mean you'll never have another one. Something needs to be done, or you may lose it anyway as you simply wont be able to keep it running anymore - better to get a fair price for it now, than have that happen.

Have you seen the snowball calculator? It would be a good idea to put your debts into that, then take off the estimated value of the car, and enter in your monthly repayment amount (with the added extra of the money saved from not having a car), and see how much it impacts your Debt Free Date. I'm willing to bet it will shave YEARS off the date!

A 2nd job, in the evenings, is a great idea! Heck, even a paper round would bring in extra money and get you out in the fresh air regularly too.

euronorris

Growurown wrote: »

Hey RG - I think you have every right to be down and annoyed about this state of affairs. This really sucks, and yes I know it is happening to lots of people but that doesn't really make anyone feel any better does it? I've got until March next year and then I am out of a job too. I don't have any more suggestions for you, I think you have had plenty of them, but you have my every sympathy for your situation and two fingers up to Rochdale Council.

To be clear, I am not (and I don't think anyone else is either) saying that RG has no right to feel the way he does. The way he feels is understandable, and I've been there, but he also needs to get pro-active and make some changes in order to get out of this situation.

My work tried to push me out, rather than pay redundancy, and I had to fight back in order to keep my job. That was soul destroying too. It still is. Whilst they have backed down and admitted that they were wrong (at least on one level), I still have to deal with the constant sniping and insuations that I can't do my job properly. I have to stand my ground each and every day, all whilst one of my managers has gone off sick long term, and the other is only supposed to be in the office 3 days but barely manages that, and I'm left to play manager to the team AGAIN - when she's here, she's spends 90% of her time trying to criticise me. I stood at the top of my stairs and cried for half an hour on Monday morning, before I was able to get myself off to work. So I KNOW, I get it, but I still need the money and until OH's job situation is sorted too (we're possibly relocating to the UK) it's all become a bit of 'another day, another euro' type situation.

RG - you have my every sympathy - limbo is a horrid place to be - but you have the option of being pro-active and searching for another job now, regardless of whether they make you redundant. You don't need to wait on them, you can take action yourself and improve things too.

System

Rochdale_Guy wrote: »

I'm pretty sure when I did my first Debt Remedy online with them, they didn't accept as the amount I had free was under £100, so I rejigged it to saying I had over that available each month and that submission was what got me accepted on to their Debt Remedy Plan.

Anyone from CCCS confirm this please?

Hi and thanks for your post.

As you’re already a client of ours I’d recommend that you call us so that we can look at your situation in more detail. It’s not true that you need a set amount of surplus money to do a DMP, it depends entirely on your own individual situation.

We could also signpost you to what welfare benefits would be available to you after the redundancy.

Our free Helpline is on 0800 138 1111. We’re open Monday to Friday 8am - 8pm and Saturday 9am until 3.00pm.

I hope this helps,

Kind regards,

Mat